prior service needing advice to comfort mom

[vhampd7]

Hey I'm currently in the Army NG and I plan on transitioning to the Navy asap.  I finally broke the news to my mom once again that I'm considering "reenlisting" but this time into an active component.  Every time I have mentioned the military its almost like stabbing her in the heart.  What are some ways I can comfort her so that she will be as excited as I am about this?

[Lynn "Derek's Mom"]

A parents job is to protect their children at whatever course they set for themselves, whether that be working, getting married or joining the Military. It's a hard job, and we tend to hold on for far to long for fear that if we let go, we are no longer needed or valued. No parent can stomach the idea that their child is in harm's away and we have no way to protect them.

The more you talk to your mom, the easier it will be. Enthusiam is contagious! Let her talk to the Recruiter and voicing out here on Navy for Moms is very therapeutic.

I heard a song entitled "Just a Dream" by Carrie Underwood. The song drove me to tears because I can't see my life without my son. Yet, I know, that he is happy doing what he has in his heart to do. As a mother, I'm proud of him and if he is happy, then I'm happy.

[A_Sailors_Lady]

Being in the NG there is reason for a mothers concern because deployment means you will be over in the middle east somewhere in a very unstable area in bad conditions. If the Navy is your direction, then you won't be on the ground fighting. You will spend 3 years at sea and 3 years shore duty (normal rotation). A destroyer or a carrier are very safe. A carrier is like a floating town with some 5,000 on board, and a destroyer will take out any enemies before they ever get a chance to put you in danger. Also, the Navy takes meal time seriously and are well fed on board. Focus on how much safer the Navy will be and if your getting a bonus or something then focus on how that will benefit your future. Once she understand what your career change really means, she will end up proud of you. Remind her you will not be in the dirt over in Afghanistan, cause that is most likely the image she has in her mind. Finally, with the Navy there is always a chance to be over in Japan, Spain, or another cool destination and promise to pay for her to come visit to see a new place and find out for herself that your not in any danger.

[A_Sailors_Lady]

Interesting but a bit much to give to his mother as a way to comfort her.

[Helen, T-man's mom]

I don't think anyone is "sugar coating" anything. Most of the replies are from moms with sons or daughters in service. Telling her things that will never or probably never come to pass isn't helpful either. We are just sharing our experiences in hopes that some of it might help and that is all.

[vhampd7]

This sounds great in a comical way of course. A lot of my AIT friends did tours with sailors who went to Fort Meade with us but had a different job then what they originally had then. I can hear my mom saying "If you where going to sign up to work with the army you should of stayed in!" So perhaps not the greatest idea at first, but if its still around after a couple of months/year in service I would not mind giving it a go.

[boredatwork]

Hello! Everything the Mothers have wrote is spot on especially the post about not going to the middle east. From what you have said you either want to be a MC or AW. Since neither of these are "spec ops" you do not need to concern yourself with spec ops talk. As it has been said before the Navy is kind of at a standstill. There are way too many E5's in right now and its taking about an average of 10yrs or so to make E6.

I also saw something someone had wrote about the "normal" rotation being 3yrs sea, 3yrs shore. While that may be correct in theory it doesnt always work out that way (from personal experience). You should think of what service you will advance quickly in and the ratings you chose are not the fastest by any means.

The best way to win the Mother over is to simply be confident in your decision and make it known that you know this is the right thing to do. The one thing you cant do is go AD and think that you dont need to do college.

Good luck!
MA2(SW/AW)

[vhampd7]

"The best way to win the Mother over is to simply be confident in your decision and make it known that you know this is the right thing to do"

Definitely really confident that this is completely better for me then past duties with the army. Dont get me wrong I love everything I've done and every where I have been. As my best friend who was a marine who got out and recently joined the navy says "Everyone needs a vacation from time to time."

I am extremely excited about this decision and really see the navy service being beneficial for me (school wise and experience) just wish I could sign up now!

[A_Sailors_Lady]

Good advice about being confident. That will make a difference.

[my sailor always on the go]

hey from a mom who's son is on his 4th year in the navy and signed up for 2 more now,I need you to understand all moms
hearts break at the thought of more time in the service.
But you could tell her the navy is safe and they care about education alot
just tell her you have a job now,and tell her you love her and will be happy to be with her again thats all you can do
Good luck from a mom who's heart has never hurt for so long

[BunkerQB]

Dear vhampd7,
Thank you for your service and your commitment to extend your military service. My son has been in 3.75 years. His commitment is up in 2012. My husband and I have left it up to him as to whether he should stay or leave. My son believes the job market in the civilian sector is fine in his field. We have been getting indications from various friends, clients, acquaintances who ask that our son to call them when the time comes because they hire many ex Navy people. I am worry about the economy and would prefer that he reups for 3 more years, after all is he doing very well and his CO and the enlisted guys who work under him all give him the thumbs up. He is a grown man at 26 - competent and professional. His gf is ready to settle down.
You sound pretty mature to me. If your mom is NOT supportive, please feel free to find support from us. We'll give you a pep talk whenever you need.
BQB

[Lynne]

I am not sure anything will initially bring her comfort but I can tell you my experience. When my son came home and told me he was enlisting I about had a stroke. My father had served in the Korean War and worked on the the very first radars on our homeland. He died when I was very young and it was ultimately determined this was from radiaton exposure during his service. All I could think of when my son told me his plans was that I had lost my dad and I could not risk my only child.

I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I threatened...lol, but my son stood firm. This Friday I go to Great Lakes for PIR. It has not been an easy journey, but I am incredibly proud of the young man I have raised. He is the epitome of honor, courage, and commitment. Trust me, it is hard to stand up to me, I am strong-willed, but so is he.

He explained to me over and over that this was his dream, that he believed that this is what God wanted him to do. He laid it out in a clear and convincing way and even though it did break my heart I knew it would break his if he didn't follow this path. His life was just beginning and I have had many opportunities to follow my dreams.

I think you have to be honest and straight forward with you mom, that you don't want to hurt her but that you feel like this is your destiny, if that is what you believe. Keep talking to her, even when it seems she doesn't hear you, because she does. She is probably just scared. She loves you. She wants what is best for you and as moms we often believe we know better than our children what is best regardless of your age.

Go to the recruiter, talk about the kind of job you want, educate her. Knowledge is power and the more information you give her the better off she will be. Give her the information about this site. She will find coomfort and strength here. Perhaps she will learn like me that life doesn't stop when your child enlists and she too can leatn to be Navy strong!! Good luck in your journey. I hope you find what you desire.