PIR DEBRIEFING

[Sassafras Proud Mom of a Sailor]

INTRODUCTION: A place for parents and others who have attended PIR and graduation weekend to share comments, suggestions and ideas that will hopefully make it easier and more enjoyable for other familes who are preparing for their own PIR events.

 

WHAT TO DO: This is an 'interactive' forum, with each person encouraged to start new topics (by posting your comments in the 'blank' at the top of each page) -and- respond to individual posts (by clicking 'reply' on that particular post).

 

ALSO: Over time, I will be organizing some of the posts herein as a sort of 'guide' which will be static -- that is, there will be no new posts to that discussion... thus it will not actually be a 'discussion' but more of a factual and flowing narrative that takes the reader, moment by moment, through happy hours of PIR, covering the basics with good recommendations about what to do, what not to do, and how to do (or avoid) doing it.

 

To get started on this process, it would be very useful to hear from you regarding which posts and/or particular information do you think should be included? Sincerely, I look forward to hearing from you and transcribing our collective wisdom for those who will attend PIR soon.

 

 

 

 

[Julsburd]

Yea! I just got the phone call that my son is a Sailor! I was worrrying because I thought it would be earlier in the day. He said he had been up for 35 hours so far and he would be able to sleep at 8pm. He is in Div. 10 Ship 09 for any of you who have loved ones in there. He said he gets to go over to the NEX after the call and get candy etc. First time he has been able to do that. I am so proud of him and relieved to hear from him. My husband is already in Chicago waiting to go pick him up for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

[Sassafras Proud Mom of a Sailor]

Isn't it great when that call comes...!!! Geeze, I could hardly hold back the tears of joy (and relief) until I hung up the phone . My son said that the worst part of the ordeal was that they went without eating for a l-o-n-g time, While we were on the phone they started handing out cans of soda and he was thrilled... Anyway, hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am counting down the days again... three weeks from today he will be home for the fist time since early September. What a treat!!! (((hugs))) to all...

[cheryllynn-proud mom of a sailor]

AAAwwwww, sassafras, I'd forgotten about the soda thing...I want to write that in his scrapbook somewhere...thanks for adding that!! I remember when Jonathan called to say he was a sailor he was talking with the guys a bit instead of me cause he wanted to know why and where they'd gotten the soda!!! Thanks so much.
This site has really taken off. Sorry I haven't kept up with it. You are doing a splendid job!!!!

[Sassafras Proud Mom of a Sailor]

Thanks (blush). It's good to share insights, recollections and tid-bits. What caused me to remember the 'soda' is that my son doesn't normally like soda!!! So I figured he must have gone though some strenous stuff for him to be THRILLED to get some. ((hugs)))

[WORRY WART]

Hi everyone,
I'm a newbie here, so if I'm repeating anything that has already been addressed I apologize upfront. lol...I didn't see anything with my reply..My son left to RTC 10/25/10 and his PIR is 12/22. His Div: 906. He will also be in the honor guard. I wanted to share some information that I have heard on other forums/groups that many new moms/families have asked...I also have been and still am going through this whole PIR instruction, planning for leave etc...It is frustrating....I have done some pretty extensive research, before even coming to N4M's..wish I would've stopped by sooner.
Here's what I've learned. As early as this morning, technically yesterday 11/23/10, I spoke with RTC Public Affairs Office. I read on a page last night, technically Tuesday night that if our recruit is granted holiday leave (almost all are guaranteed, as most A schools are on stand down) their leave was 12/22/10 after graduation ceremony and expired 1/2/2011....I was freaking out, as the information my recruit gave me was 12/22/2010- 1/4/2011. The public affairs office confirmed Wed 11/23 that there had been some confusion..some of the recruits "had" been given expiration/report dates of 1/2/11, some 1/4/11. She said she and the Public Affairs Office got a firm, final confirmation answer addressing the matter right before I had called. If the recruit's itinerary and Chit request are turned in by the deadline they were given, the requests would be reviewed. If approved, holiday leave will begin approx 5 hrs after graduation 12/22 and expire 1/4/11...they must report to their next duty station per their orders by 7 am 1/4/2011.
**Also, many have had questions regarding itinerary information (what to include in the email etc)....here's what I understand...from my recruit and my research from RTC and the base he will be reporting to as well.......My son said his itinerary for holiday leave """must""" be emailed by the deadline Dec. 7, 2010...if it is not there, or late...leave will not be granted/denied.
***The itinerary must be emailed to:[e-mail] ***
I have seen the many questions re: email/fax/regular mail etc..I also mailed a hard copy of the email to my son..it was guaranteed to by there Wed by 3 pm...I recommend sending your recruit a hard copy as well. The recruit has to have the same information on their Chit Request for leave as your information on the itinerary that you email to the above noted email. (must match) mail a hard copy....best practice..
Regarding what should be included on the itinerary: the Subject line: should say PIR 12/22/2010-Itinerary Re: SR: recruits name, Div, Ship and last 4 of Social Security #...I referred to it as XXX-XX-0000 example.
In the body of the email ;
Recruit Training Command
To whom it may concern;
Re: Holiday Leave - Itinerary Information 12/22/10-1/4/2011 (or the date your recruit decides to report if earlier).
SR: recruit name.
Div Ship XXX-XX-0000.
My recruit will be taking holiday leave after the conclusion of PIR/graduation, 12/22/2010 through 1/1/2011.
He will be driven by family to :Address where we will stay. We will remain there from 12/22/10-12/24/10. On 12/24 we will depart from (MKE) Milwaukee (time-flight #) to (airport) time-flight # (see 1st attached itinerary). **attach the airline itinerary for each destination**connecting excluded.
Cont.... After we arrive 12/24/10 at (airport) we will drive our recruit to our family home: Address and contact phone #. Recruit will remain there from 12/24/10 to 1/2/11.
1/2/2011 he departs (airport) and arrives at (airport). see the 2nd attached itinerary...Arrangements have been made with (base operator (NAME of officer on watch) at base your recruits orders state to report to) for a duty driver to pick up recruit and transport him to (the base your recruit reports to) for processing, assignment, base tour and time to acclimate until 7am 1/4/2011. If you require any further information regarding the information provided, please feel free to contact me. (name, phone, address and email).
I know this seems ridiculously detailed...overkill I know....but I have been told by RTC Public Affairs as well as Naval Sub Base New London, that it is pertinent to be as detailed a possible. The need to know what mode of transportation and dates of transportation. My recruit was frustrated, as our plans changed from what we originally spoke about, which was prior to his arrival to RTC. I thought "how in the world are these recruits expected to know any details regarding leave when they nor we even have been given firm information that they will have the opportunity to take holiday leave, furthermore, all plans and tickets haven't even been purchased" parents didn't even get the information confirming holiday leave was going to even happen for sure until last week when our recruits were granted a phone call to inform us, and obtain so limited information...we could not plan ahead for leave, only graduation, which also changed from 12/24/ to 12/22. The reason my recruit was frustrated was the information I gave him was tentative, the dates, airports, etc were not firm, I had only begun making arrangements...His information I would later provide from my email had to match his Chit request. So as I made firm plans, the next call I relayed the information, and the plans had changed slightly, so he had to revise his Chit request.....he said he would be drilled for having to revise it...uggh. I told him that I was certain that the majority of the recruits would be revising their Chit requests...unless they were going to report directly to their next duty station or A school. It is voluntary...our recruit has the option not to take leave and report to their next orders, take a few days, or the entire leave...It will affect the amount of leave available to them later. They are taking an advance on their un-earned leave days....they will have to make up each day they use on leave. Once they are completely caught up...they will begin to accrue leave days,,,,they are "in the hole". Depending on how long their A school is, this could result in not being able to take leave upon graduation from A school.
I don't know if other moms here know, but in my planning I came to an obstacle...I had no idea, nor did RTC how my recruit was suppose to get from the airport to the base he was to report to. I wasn't sure if he had to use the bus, transit or taxi???. I asked for the base phone information # at the base he was reporting to. I was certain this is a normal inquiry...They gave me the airport best for him to fly in to, and said that they provide duty drivers to go to the airport and pick them up and transport them to the base and get them acclimated...all they need is the itinerary info...the flight #, arrival time at the airport, the airline and your recruit's name and they make all the arrangements....I did however, request a direct phone number for the duty driver in case my recruit had to call for any reason, delay or just can't find the duty driver at the airport.
I don't know if this Long drawn out post has helped any moms out there who might have had some of the same questions, frustrations, obstacles etc...I hope I could help with the confusion.....whew...lol Chat with you all again..glad I found you... :)
Thanksgiving to Everyone!!!!
WORRY WART

[Sassafras Proud Mom of a Sailor]

Dear Worry Wart, we all learn from each other's experiences... either want to do or what not to do and the info you shared about there being a duty driver to pick up Sailors (from the airport, train station, etc.) and take them to their duty station when returning from Leave is really good to know.

Also worth noting is that our Recruits do get 'drilled' as a form of discipline for deviating from (or having to re-do) certain procedures, and that there is no way for us (the parents) to prevent this except by allowing our children take the lead. And please understand, I am not in any way being critical of your actions. It is self-evident that you have your soon-to-be Sailor's best interest at heart and are doing everything humanly possible to make it as easy as possible for your Recruit to comply with the (ever changing) instructions that are given.

It's just that, in all honesty, there is simply no way that any parent can effectively do this for their Recruit. In fact, a big part of the Bootcamp experience is to put the Recruits in a space of time where they must 'individuate' from their loving parents and 'force' them to be 100% accountable for themselves.

In this light it is really important to remember that even though all the Recruits are in the same Navy, and even though the rules are the same for everyone, the procedures which must be followed will vary from situation to situation and even from individual to individual, depending on so many things it would be impossible to list them all here.

This, of course, makes it very frustrating for us parents... especially (I believe) for us moms because we have dedicated so much of our time for so many years to 'making sure' that all the details are well-organized and attended to in order to keep our children safe and happy. Thus we must (or at least I have had to) remind self that this young person who we love so dearly is, defacto, an adult now and that the only way he or she will learn what is needed in order to be successful in the Navy is to lovingly give them the opportunity to (forgive the expression) sink or swim on their own.

Thus might I respectfully suggest that with all future arrangements, give your Recruit lots of encouragement to find out what must be done to comply with procedure on their own, and to take the lead in doing it for and by themself...??? Which I know 'feels' calous and cold-hearted, but I assure is you probably the most generous act of kindness you can give and, the reality is that they NEED our encouragment and support in this direction.

That is, our kids will - often without us ever knowing it - not tell us that we should not be doing certain things for them because they don't want to hurt our feelings. Also, they will feel nervous and scared about all the things we are nervous and scared about -- like missing an airport connection. And still, they must (as we all must) conquer these trepedations in order to mature and become fully fledged adults.

And of course, if they make a specific request of us to do a certain thing, then jump on it!!! In the interim -- though I know it is difficult -- do your best to rest assured that the Navy will not ask or expect a Recruit or a Sailor to do anything that they are not capable to do. Also that there are many support systems built into the chain of command and that the best thing we parents can do for our offspring is to encourage them to familiarize themselves with the processes and procedures the Navy expects them to adhere to as they have YEARS of this in their future and, at base line, this is what they signed up to do.

Anyway, I totally related with your questions and frustrations. I hope that my comments, too, help aleviate the confusion that many of us feel when someone we love joins the Navy. Just remember that we are here for each other. The Navy is in many ways like a big family, and the best thing we can do for our kids and loved ones after they enlist is to patiently and politely insist that they do what they need to do -- procedurally speaking -- on their own.

Just one more thing, remember to take plenty of tissues with you to PIR... when the band starts playing and the kids... er, ah, new Sailors start strutting their stuff, I guarantee you will need them...anyway, glad you found us and happy to have you with us... (((hugs))) to you and your Recruit.

[Julsburd]

Your comment is very insightful Sassafras. I know I am guilty of trying to plan everything for my son. I am the mother of 2 boys and add in my husband... I have a lot of "men" in my family which means they are inherently less prone to organizing things and are much less concerned when things don't go as planned. I always feel better when I have the situation planned which is probably why I like this site so much. All of the experience and information I get here helps me "plan" better. My son was the one who told me about it so he is still hoping I will learn and then plan things for him. I guess while he is still in BC (graduates 12/3) I can help more because he is so cut off from the world but once he gets to GC I will back off on all of it and let him make some mistakes on his own...
My husband went to Chicago and spent the day with him and another sailor and all they wanted to do was hang out in the hotel room. Dinner reservations were canceled and junk food took over. They spent a lot of the time online and just talking about all the different guys they have met at Boot Camp. He looked good from the pic that hubby took but I can't wait to see and hug him in person.

[Sassafras Proud Mom of a Sailor]

I am glad you got something from my comments, Julsburd. I am the mother of 3 boys and 3 girls, however my eldest son died in infancy so I have 2 boys (ages 19 & 24) and 3 girls (ages 41, 22 & 17) living. And though I was happily married for many years (to my second husband), I became a single mom (again) in 2004 when my husband (who became cogniively disabled resulant of heart surgery in 1994) abandoned us.

All of which I share so that my thinking on certain things can be put in context of what I have experienced, and what I have leaned from those experiences. And the one thing that life has redundantly taught me is, perhaps, best summaized by that old adage about 'the best laid plans too often going awry' -- and so the overarching objective has, at least to me, become a sort of 'planning to go with the flow' (and when necessary, roll with the punches).

Also, I homeschooled all of my kids at one point or another, and this taught me a lot about how important it is to not just allow, but to vigorously encourage my kids to be accountable for their own actions, because once they turn 18, they will be (by society) held accountable for their actions and (it occured to me) that this 'sense of being self-responsible' cannot be handed to them (like diploma) the day they turn 18... it must be 'earned' (practiced and experienced) a little at a time every day as they grown and mature.

And I have, for decades, observed that 'men' (bless their hearts) do tend to be less concerned with the 'details' and with 'planning' than women do, but at the same time this seems to me to be a result of 'cultural conditioning' and the (subliminal) 'behavior standards' that we humans (as individuals) have been 'taught' to expect as our 'natural circumstances in life.'

Anyway, in light of all of this, my best advice to any parent is like the quote (attributed to Hodding S. Carter, who was a prominent progressive journalist and author): "There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children - one is roots, and the other, wings." Coupled with the sage advice that "Children learn what they live" this has been my 'parenting mantra' for the last 40+ years... and so far, things are working out pretty good!!! (((hugs)))

[logcabin4]

I have tried and tried to download the parking pass and just can't get it.

[Sassafras Proud Mom of a Sailor]

Lots of folks seem to have difficulty with this... so don't be alarmed. For starters, make sure you type in the password that came in the (form) letter you got in ALL CAPS. Second, you will (probably) NOT be able to fill in the info online... so you will print the pass with blanks and fill in the info (name, division, etc.) by hand... and third, when you attend PIR -- and for the whole weekend -- whenever you go on base to pick-up or drop-off your new Sailor, keep the pass on your dashboard... If this doesn't solve the problem, holler back... (((hugs)))

[logcabin4]

I can't get pass the click on for the pass! the page just stays white or it says download adobe reader which I've done a zillion times, then I get nothing!

[Sassafras Proud Mom of a Sailor]

I will scout around and see what I can find out ... but it may take a little while as I am headed out right now to run some errands. Take heart... we will get you there... also, be advised that if there are a whole bunch of folks all trying to download the pass at the same time, it may over-tax the server... (this happened to lots of us who tried to get the pass right after it was made available).... (((hugs)))