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Fiance enlisting soon! Questions about the wedding...
Hello all! My name is Liz and my fiance will be enlisting in the Navy sometime in the next month.
His recruiter told him that we should wait to get married in between basic and A school, but to my understanding that usually can't be done. We are Catholic and have pretty strict regulations to follow already, so we cannot just run to a courthouse for a quickie wedding when he gets liberty. Would it be best to try and get married before he ships to basic? It seems like it might be the best way to go since we have to plan things well in advance with our church. But...since I am not in the Navy I don't know how lenient they would be with allowing him time to fly home to get married.
Any advice would be helpful!
Views: 279
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by ChrisAmo on
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If you don't get married before he leaves, it'll be a long wait to get married. He won't get leave until after A school so it could be months, maybe up to a year, before he could be assured of enough time off for a wedding. You say he'll "be enlisting in the Navy sometime in the next month."....does that mean he'll be leaving for boot camp? If so, he should have a definite date. If he's just going to MEPS, then it could be months before he has to leave. Plenty of time to get married. If you get married before he goes in, he can put in for your BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) etc. much sooner so that by the time he graduates from boot camp all the wheels will be in motion and you'll be getting your money sooner rather than later. My advice would be to do it before if possible.
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Permalink Reply by LizzyJ on
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Thanks for the advice! He will be going to MEPS sometime in the next month, so we should have several months to get the ball rolling on the wedding. We just were not sure since his recruiter was telling us something different.
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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His recruiter doesn't want to do the paperwork. Get married and make him deal with it. Otherwise, you aren't getting a church wedding, perhaps for years.
(and it could't hurt to reign in the budget, you'll need the money later, even a paid Navy move will hit your pockets hard)
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Permalink Reply by Fur&FeathersDVM on
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If you're 100% positive you're ready to be married and that you're ready to handle navy life as a wife, and you don't want to wait for what could be a long time, then go for it before he goes. It is a big change from civilian life. The only issue with that is if your diocese is like ours you may have that six month minimum window between alerting the church of your marriage and getting married and there's a possibility that you won't have that time.
My husband and I had a full blown Catholic wedding that we were able to plan just over a year out with some help from his command. We slotted it in before they would be able to deploy due to certifications and over Christmas leave so he would have time for a honeymoon and I wouldn't be in school. It worked out well but we did have a longer (nearly two year) engagement because of it. I didn't mind, I liked being able to experience navy life before we took that final step and I knew that way we could handle it as a couple but many people don't want to wait that long before they get married. And there's always the risk that you can make plans and something unexpected happens and he won't end up being there.
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