HELP!!! I think my future recruit is in denial!

[Invisible12]

I don't know where to turn. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with the fact that my son will be leaving for bootcamp in September, but now I'm starting to realize that maybe he really doesn't know what he's getting himself into. For instance, last nite we were talking about selling his car before he leaves and he said he'd like to buy a car from a guy that we know maybe next year. I asked him if he realizes that once he leaves, he's gone for 4 years, with the exception of the times he does get to come home for visits (which I'm sure are not often.) His answer was "I don't know." Of course, I started to cry. My question is - are most kids (I call him a kid even though he's 22) naive about what they're getting into? I'm so panicked that he's going to think he made a mistake and will be miserable when reality sets in. If anyone has any advice - PLEASE SHARE! I'm so sad that my first born is leaving and to think of him being "there" and regretting his decision just makes me sick to my stomach. Sorry if I sound like an overbearing mother - I'm just so worried for him. Thanks for listening!

[aveoamare(Ship02div925)]

I asked my husband what kind of food was his favorite there, I asked him about his friends (Since I knew a lot of the families from this site)  I asked about how he was managing during IT, what kind of excersises they did, was he tired, sleeping well?

 

He doesn't get much time to write details in his letters so this was my chance to figure out what his day was like and how he was managing all the PT.

 

 

[Invisible12]

Thank you...I'll start making notes.  Your baby is absolutely ADORABLE.

[TN Navy Mom (Stennis Nuke Mom)]

aveomare had good suggestions for questions.  I too asked for friends names and what State they are from.  Keep in mind, they only know each other by last name and maybe what state they are from.  I asked things like, how much time to you get to sleep and what time he was assigned to do his ironing and such.  If he was doing any "jobs" like RPOC, Yeoman, mail, flag bearer, etc.  How his PFAs were going,  if he had received IT (which he did for laughing at a story I wrote in a letter, but said it was worth it!!)  Did he need me to send more stamps, or any special verbal messages to our church or family members.

 

Anything you can think of, even down to whether there is anything special he wants to do after PIR, you might be able to find area discounts on Groupon.  Those phone calls are rare and I found that having my own personal teleprompter kept me from veering off course with our limited time.

[Maria ( 9/132 - HM- 04-2011)]

Hi Invisible12, my only child (he is 19) joined the Navy and I was panicked especially as he signed up to be a corpsman. I am not sure he knew what he was getting into before he left for bootcamp but when we saw him at his PIR he was so grown up and you could see the change in him for the better. The one thing I have learned in the short period of time he has been in the navy is that you need to be flexible. Also, the Navy may be tough on them at the beginning but they also take good care of them and I really believe they will not send anyone out that is not ready! It was my son's decision to go this route and I just needed to support that, be strong, and pray a lot for his wellbeing and my peace of my (kept crying during that 1st month after he enter Deps. Good luck and stay strong. PS - encourage him to wait on any permanent changes until at least after he finishes A school. My son has a car and he decided to hold on to it, my friend was able to drive her son's car to him after A school. You never know.

[Invisible12]

Thank you 1windhaven.  I keep telling myself that once I see him at PIR that I'll feel so much better. It's just hard. How often to you speak to or hear from your son?

[Maria ( 9/132 - HM- 04-2011)]

Hi that was the hardest part only talked to him twice during the whole BC period. 1st time for 5 mins as he had tried calling and I missed his call and then he haddifficulty using the At&T phone cards. Received 4 letters too. But seeing him at pir and how much he had matured was well worth it. Hardest day was when he left. Just went home and cried. Enjoy what time you have with him and don't worry things always turn out for the best.

[slapout52]

My 22-yr-old opted for Navy after 2 years of college.  He was a good student who had a lot of growing up to do, post high school, and he realized the "work 35 hours a week, study, go to class" routine was getting him nowhere fast.  I am proud of him for having the good sense to see how USN would educate him, mature him, and care for him all at the same time.  I got a hilarious 5-page letter from him complete with quotes of what might be considered colorful language.  Do I miss him?  Of course!  Do I cry?  Nope.  But I feel like crying when I think about the kids who will PIR without family there and the kids who call home, all homesick, and get a weeping parent on the line.  I fully intend to SQUALL at PIR; I am stocking up on Kleenex.  But I also intend to be all smiles and congratulations.

[Audrey]

My son left for boot camp this week. He was DEP for just under a year. I don't think your son is in denial, I think he's a GUY. lol  I think most males cannot wrap their heads around a future longer than a couple of days. I can't speak for all moms, but I know my son went through the same thing. He would talk about doing something "next year" and, when I would remind him, he would say "Oh, yeah....".

[Invisible12]

Audrey, I'm so glad you said that!!!!  LOL.   It must really be a "guy" thing.   I feel much better now.  Thank you!

[Sandy's_sailor son]

Audrey, your are right in your assessment. It is just a guy thing, LoL

[Maria ( 9/132 - HM- 04-2011)]

Slap out, totally agree with you. When you are on the phone with your SR while in bootcamp we have to be strong. The 1st call I got I could tell he was at the verge. So it was about talking him through and providing support. The 2nd and 3rd call he was much better.

[bhebert]

I know how you feel!  My son insisted on going in the Navy and was sure all would be well.  He has been miserable since he left and just graduated and is still miserable.  He says the things his recruiter told him are not true and was told he would be able to come home for 2 weeks after A school and is now being told that he won't be able to come home.  He is really bummed.  I hope you and your son have a long talk before he leaves and he understands what a commitment he is making.  I fear my son made a 4 year plus mistake.  I am keeping my fingers crossed my son will find positive aspects soon otherwise he is in for a long 4 years.!!!  Good luck to you!