Undecided...about everything.

[navy girlfriend]

My boyfriend graduated bootcamp today and as per his recruiter's advice he is listed as "undecided aviation". He is now upset because that means he won't be getting his rate anytime soon and won't be able to start ranking up. He graduated bootcamp as an E2 and says that once he leaves A school for his home port in California he will have to move around the different aviation jobs until he ranks up to E3 and can pick a rate and take the test. I was wondering how long that would take.

Also, he says he is undecided about making the Navy a career at all. The only thing that is not undecided is our feelings for each other. We are both still pretty young (I'm only a senior in High School and he's just 3 years older) and have made it clear that we do want to get married but not until I graduate college. His 4 year contract will end a year before that and he questions signing back up because he already can't bear being away from me and if we have a family that would just be that much harder. Honestly, I love him and have all the confidence in the world that he can do whatever he puts his mind to. Does anyone know some options that he has? 

[Anti M]

There is only a nine month wait between E-2 and E-3. That is practically no time at all. He will be eligible for an A school he qualifies for in a year. Again, hardly any time at all. Undesignated will give him opportunities which those who are locked into A school contracts do not have. So he should keep his head up and see how things go. He just came out of the emotional pressure cooker of boot camp, he should wait until he gets into his first command and see how the real fleet works before making any long term decisions. He should talk to his chain of command and to the training officer, to work with him in getting as varied and as broad an experience as possible while selecting his rate.

Obviously, relationships work in the Navy, look at how many military families there are. My parents we married 61 years, and dad served in the Navy for 29 of those. My husband and I were dual military, and he did 20 years. It isn't easy, and not always fun, but it can be very worthwhile. Tell him not to rush the decision based on his first year as an airman, but to develop a long term view based on actual experience, not "what if" nerves.

[navy girlfriend]

Thank you for the advice. I keep telling him to weigh his options and give it time. He recently has started looking into being a MA. That way after the four years he is already signed up for are over he can make a transition into being a civilian cop. It's hard for him to make a clear decision with so many people telling him what he should do (he comes from a predominantly Navy family and they all have their opinions). 

 

I do understand and appreciate how relationships work in the Navy, but I don't think that is the kind of lifestyle we would choose. 

[AlwaysReady]

Eh being a military spouse has its ups and downs and its not the job for everyone. My husband and I have a ton of kids and we all made it pretty good through our first deployment. Its hard having them gone but its not impossible. Right now I see my spouse more then some of our civilian counter parts.

 

My advice is he needs to stop listening to everyone around him and see how HE feels and how HE likes it and go from there. Its gonna take a good year for him to get adjusted and learn the ropes in the fleet. He may end up loving it. But he needs to make that choice and not let his family influence him. (mind you my husband also comes from a huge Navy background family)

[sbeechl]

With the way the economy is on the outside I believe it is best for him to stay in as long as he can so that when you do marry you'll have all benefits. Health commissary and so on. And having children only makes it a more clearer decision
he can go ion college and work on his degree free of charge. He can go to officer candidate school. The military is great when it comes to everything it has o offer. What does the outside world have to offer right now. Piece of fat for you to chew on.

[BunkerQB]

It probably sounds ridiculous for someone as old as I am to advise you to live in the moment, but that is precisely what I am suggesting to the two of you. He is IN the Navy with opportunities galore. He won't be undesignated forever. It will change. You should complete your degree (if your parents are helping - that is fantastic). Start saving for trips to see him. You need to develop your sense of "self" too. Your commitment to each other will help you through difficult times. But please look at all the positives (you know - the glass is half full view). The two of you are off to a great start in life. Better things will come. The best is yet to come.

[Airman_Logan]

I'm sorry to say it, but your boyfriend got pulled into a trick by his recruiter. It's their way of getting people to join and not garauntee them an A school. This gives the Navy many laborers for the small jobs that nobody else wants to do. But, being an Undesignated Airman is both a blessing and a curse. He won't technically have a "job" for a while, seeing as he'll be moved around to do all sorts of work for every shop and office that needs him. He'll have a a litle experience in a wide range of fields that are in the aviation department though. With this, he can choose the job that best suits what he wants to do for his enlistment. Like you stated, he won't be able to pick up a rank above E-3 until he strikes a rate. To do this, he'll have to become a fleet returnee after 18 months time, and go to an A school, and possibly a C school.

With his choice as going undesignated, it dramatically decreases his future progression in the navy for the next year and a half. He won't have the opprtunity as alot of the sailors that came in with him. What I mean by this is that many of them will graduate their respective A schools within the next six months and be eligible to take the 3rd class petty officer test at the next cycle. Your boyfriend will have to wait. He really got "screwed over" by his recruiter.

Also, tell him not to worry about making a career out of the Navy right now. He's got 4 years to make up his mind on a reenlistment. There's so many benefits that a military life offers, along with many that it takes away. He'll have many days and nights to worry about that.

[Angie]

With the internet and all the tools out there for people to research....how can anyone say the recruiter pulled a trick on this person.

[sbenfamily]

Well, the same thing happened to my daughter, Angie. They are young, easily influenced young people. My husband an active duty army soldier went in with her and was convinced it was a "Great idea", they get to try out different jobs so they can decide which one is best for them. My husband thought it was great she would get to try out different things and than make a decision. Wrong. She is an E3 and painting everyday and miserable and hates it. I feel so bad for her that she was so passionate about the Navy and serving her country and she fell victim to this. We are a career military family and felt she would make it a career, however after this experience I don't feel as if she will. It is a shame and a disgrace the recruiters do this just to make their "quota."

[Chris, Forever Ray's Proud Mom]

I agree with Vipergirl, July 2, both of you need to keep living and experience all that you can.  Let there be no regrets for "wishing I would have..." because that leads to frustration and blaming down the road.

As far as recrutiers...they tried to get my son to go as corpsman when they told him they had a NUKE slot available for him (yes, he was qualified for it).  So even tho it is hard to get some people for all the jobs, they still do some seemingly shady sign-in's.

With that said, he may actually enjoy what he finally gets assigned to do.  I believe everything works out like it should.  It isn't what happens to you, it's how you respond to what happens.

Good luck with your future.