Help

[momof5]

My son is awaiting his swearing in and plane ride to Chicago.  He wants me to come take him home.  I have been on the phone with him off and on ALL night... The 'mom' in me wants to race right there and pick him up.....but I know that would be wrong.  Is it normal for a kid to be so worked up ?   He was sick throughout the night from all his worrying.  Any ideas?  Thanks!

 

[Craig]

Every bird needs to leave the nest.  Your sons actions are acutally normal.  The unknowns are always scarry. 

 

I actually run a Deppers forum, and all the Deppers ping off of each other.  Their excitment just flows though the forum, and they all cannot wait to get to bootcamp.  From what you have said,  I can tell by your post that your son sounds like he didn't do his research about the Navy and what is about to happen to him.  Had he, then the jouney of the unknown wouldn't have scared him. 

 

Every mom needs to cut the apron strings.  Talk him up and tell him how proud you are that he is about to begin a jouney that will make him a future.  America loves military veterans.  Whether if you were in 4 years or 30 years, you're still a veteran.  The benefits for even being in 4 years are awesome.  Just keep talking and pushing. 

 

I wrote these PowerPoint slides to help the deppers.  But, I think they will help you too.

http://www.navyformoms.com/group/ctratemoms/forum/topics/boot-camp-...

[Cindylaine (MN Mom)]

The mom in me would want to do the same thing.  It might be finally hitting him what he is doing. By that I mean leaving home.  My son has never been away from home this far away or long.  Do you know what he is nervous about?  My son was really nervous about flying.  I just kept reassuring him it would be alright and that he was doing the right thing.  Are there any other people with him?   Maybe once the swearing in is complete and he gets around the others leaving with him he will be okay.  It's a big step they are taking and I'm sure it's hard when the day finally comes.  I'll be praying for you and your son.

 

[Joanie Tyler's Mom(133 Bees)]

If it was my son...I would have his recruiter give him a call....I'm sure he would be able to talk to him and remind him about the awesome opportunites ahead for him....As a mom...I too would want to go get him...but not sure if that would be the right thing to do...will be praying for you and your son.

[momof5]

I have tried everything....he still is apprehensive...but I know he will do an awesome job....It is KILLING me...my first child to leave the nest too...I told him that I can't rescue him and he needs to make this decision on his own...his dad, my ex...just told him to suck it up and get it done...

 

[BunkerQB]

An important factor is what are his alternatives?

1. If you and his father are going to send him to college, then let him come home attend a community college for a year or two, then join.
2. If he is just going to work at a fast food restaurant, then he needs to consider his dad's suggestion.

Another factor is "circle of friends" & family support

1. Maybe he has a nice circle of friends (perhaps a budding romance) that he is reluctant to leave
2. Is he very shy and has trouble adjusting in a new environment?
3. Have you been crying your eye balls out and say how much you are going to miss him and don't know how you'll survive w/o him?
   
   Remind him that all the other RCs will be there "alone" too and everyone will be in the same boat - having to make new friends. Remind him that you and his dad will always be a support system for him regardless of where he is or what he is doing. Remind that you are an adult, missing him will be natural and part of letting go as a mom. Let him know that you have found support here as well and will be strong enough to see this through.

Is he concern that he won't make it physically?

1. Remind him that he has been training and the Navy has been through this before.

Is he emotionally immature and just not ready to leave home?

1. Many guys mature later in life. Others are ready for responsibility at 18. They are all different. Not being ready does not mean he won't be a great sailor later on.

The military is just not for him.

1. He has finally realized that the military has it's own very strict code of conduct and regulations that all sailors must abide by. If he thinks the life style is going to be so tough on him, that he'll do something stupid and end up with a record and get discharged later - then that is BAD. You should go get him this minute.  Of course, you should ask him how he thinks he would feel a week after coming home?

The Navy commitment is not forever - 5 years (w reserve of ?? not sure here) and the rewards are many. GI bill for education, technical training, sense of self esteem, work experience, travel, etc. etc.

Good luck.

[momof5]

Turned 18 in March...signed up a year ago...early/delayed entry.

 

[laura h]

Is this unusual behavior for him? Important to be supportive, but as some of the others said, need to be stong and cut the cord. Everyone reacts differenly to stress & maybe this is his way?

[BunkerQB]

My older son joined the Navy at 23 as an officer after graduating from college. He is on his fourth year and will leave the Navy after 5 years. His Bachelor of Science degree is in electrical engineering from a top engineering w brilliant job prospects. He flourished in the Navy.

My younger son started at the military academy (for Army) at 17. He was physically and academically ready but was not mature enough to appreciate the opportunities presented to him. In addition, the life style was not for him. He thought it was. He had thought about nothing else except getting into West Point since 13 year of age. He left the academy after 2 years. He gave up a huge opportunity - Ivy League equivalent education - job security - prestigious association with WP - the camaraderie. We never thought he would walk away.  My questions and suggestions to you are based from my experience with my child. 

This will probably be one of the most difficult decisions he has to make as a person. We are here to be supportive and provide what information we can and hopefully you can benefit from our experiences. In yours shoes, based on MY past experience w our younger son and if you can pay for college, what would I do?  I would go get him.

Please let us know how it goes. He will be the same person no matter what but at the same time this experience with the Navy will change him forever regardless of his decision.

[momof5]

Thanks for your thoughts...he arrived at boot camp...and we had our last call....pray for him...I worry that he will not make the most of this...he is so capable...but I pray he is emotionally ready.  Wanted to go bring him home it about killed me :(

 

[Cindylaine (MN Mom)]

I have been thinking about you and your son since this morning on chat.  Glad that he made it safe. Will continue to pray for him.  I'm sending you a friend request.  If you ever need to talk, I'm here.

[sunshine73]

Glad you both made it through today. Hang in there. you have great support here. Writing letters and sending cards will help you both. I recommend that you go ahead and start writing him. I tried to send my son something everyday. It helped us both. When you find out his PIR (graduation date) join that group. There are 34 moms that I met on N4Ms from my sons PIR group who are part of my family now. We fb, text, message almost everyday. Don't hesitate to ask questions, vent, cry. Bootcamp is hard for everyone but you will get through it.

[JessicaB-Sailor's Sweetheart<3]

If it is any help at all, my boyfriend is currently in bootcamp and graduates next friday. Right before he got there and when he did, he was a mess. Wanted to come home, thought about getting himself discharged etc. etc. A few weeks in, once he met people and made some friends and learned more, he now feels he made a great decision, but realizes it will be hard. He is incredibly proud to be serving. It is scary for them in the beginning, but after a bit, it gets better(: I hope the same will happen with your son.