New navy sub wife.

[mrschelsea]

hi, my name is chelsea and i am a new navy nuke wife.

me and my husband have a little less than 2 months left in south carolina before he is finished with nuke school and will get his orders to somewhere else. (fingers crossed for california)

he put in for submarine....and i was just wondering if any had any advice. i grew up in a military family and i know how things are but i dont know anything about submarines or how communication will work. i know ill get emails whenever he can send them but will i be able to send him care packages? 

any help or advice will be much appreciated (:

[Hollybear]

Welcome to the sub force.  I hope you love it as much as I do.  There is good and bad. The BEST thing is that it is a small group so you can actually connect with people. My hubby has been on a boomer and is not gearing up for his 1st fast attack deployment. Let me tell you what it is like.

Boomer: Very little communication. No news is good news is my mantra. I emailed every day but he did not have time or the ability to email me back every day... sometimes communication goes down for a few weeks. If that happens just relax and stay busy. And keep emailing him. I LOVED the deployment schedule for boomers. There are 2 crews so guys never have under ways. They are gone 3-4 months then they are home 3-4 months.
They never pull into ports, so the guys have to take everything they need with them, BUT they can not spend all of your money without thinking ( and yes, that happens a LOT). NO CARE PACKAGES, but usually one mail drop ( an envelope or maybe a bag that you can see through and fill with stuff).

Fast Attack: A little more communication, but still not a lot. Still embracing the no news is good news. Smaller boat so they often have to hot rack. Only one crew and I hate that because my husband is gone about 2 weeks out of every month and then they will deploy for about 7 months. They do pull into ports so the guys see other parts of the world, and that is cool. You can send care packages ( or letters) depending on where they are and what is going on. You will need to keep in touch with the FRG (family readiness group) and ombudsman and they can tell you when there will be a chance to mail stuff and what the size limits are. Remember they have limited space so sending a bunch of stuff will cause issues.

On both boats: You are absolutely NOT allowed to send aerosol spay cans. No smoking is allowed now. On a boomer you can not take a camera or anything like that ( especially if he is a nuke) On a fast boat you can, and they have fun with them making videos and stuff. Know that it is important to be able to take care of yourself and other things. BE SURE to get a POA ( power of attorney). They can not call a company if there is a problem, so you need to be able to handle that stuff. Also, be sure that you guys can handle the low communication, it is really hard on some couples. The best thing about being on a sub ( in my opinion) is that it is a much more close knit group. There will always be one asshole who tries to cause issues for the new guy, but over all there is a lot more camaraderie. The officers are officers, but they usually know all of the guys on the boat. Where on a carrier the XO couldn't pick you out of a line up.

The bad news: Submariners have a huge amount of pride. And they are a strange group of guys. I love them. But they are strange. There are two kinds of guys on a sub. Guys with "fish" and guys with out them. * Fish is slang for dolphins. That is the submarine warfare pin. It is the absolute biggest deal to get your fish. Some boats are like fraternities ( ok, most of them are) and they will not let a guy watch tv or eat dessert of he is a "nub" It is hard, and I mean HARD to go to a boat. I remember being there for prototype and I would sell my left arm to go back. There will come a point where you will not see your hubby, and he will get the shaft because he is not qualified as much as they want him to be. If he gets behind he will get DINK hours. I am sure you know what that means, even if you have not lived them. If that happens, do your best to be supportive and understanding. He will have to put in long stupid hours to get caught up, but he can do it! I am in VA. If you guys come here look me up. We have several years in the Navy and I can probably help you out if you have questions. Message me if you ever have questions no matter where you go.\

I am NOT trying to be discouraging. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the sub life. But it can be really hard sometimes. And know that the nukes are the first ones on and the last ones off when they leave. So if you do a pier-side homecoming you may wait a few extra hours. Still better than the 5000 people who come off a carrier though. You can do this! I promise.

[mrschelsea]

thank you, you're information helped alot (:

[Hollybear]

you are so welcome.