Over Seas living

[sharie.trumble]

My son just received his orders the other day and was quite distrout.  He found out he is going to Japan.  He is excited to go there the only problem is that he is engaged to be married.  Not sure how that works if he is not actually married.  Does anyone have any ideas?  We are trying to figure out if she can go before they are actually married.  I am excited for him and scared at the same time.  This is an opportunity of a lifetime. 

[Anti M]

There is little good news here.  I know this stuff (12 years in Japan), and it will be hard for you, and them, to hear.  

She can't go unmarried, except as a tourist, for 90 days at a time.  Japan does have immigration laws, just as we do.

E-3 and below are NOT authorized to take dependents overseas. PERIOD.  If he is an E-4 or above, and he marries her, he can put in a request for her to be granted command sponsorship once he checks into his command.  This gets her the appropriate visa, and access to base facilities beyond the basics, authorization to work, and eligibility for housing.  She must also pass overseas screening (mostly health, criminal and debt checks).  However, these requests aren't that easy to get approved. He cannot ask for that waiver as a single sailor.  Her travel will not be paid for, as he got orders before he was married.

Do NOT think she can simply go live there. The cost of living is crushingly expensive, a single sailor is not authorized to live offbase until they are an E-5 or higher, so he'd not get a penny of OHA (overseas BAH) or COLA (cost of living allowance).  Even then, the barracks have occupancy requirements before granting permission to live offbase.  It cannot be done on a single sailor's pay without any allowances.  She could not work without command sponsorship, if she tried and got caught, she'd be deported and not allowed back in.

Sorry, that's it in a nutshell.

[sharie.trumble]

Thank you for your responce.  I guess that leaves only one unanswered question.  Would any of us be able to visit and stay on the base to which he is stationed if we do go visit or do we have to stay off base?  I am hoping there is a silver lining among this cloud that they have fallen under.  They are young and heartbroken. 

Again thank you.

[Anti M]

Join the Japan moms group as soon as you can.  Many great ladies ther (LOL and me)

Yes, you can go visit, and you can stay on base at the Navy Lodge (if you can get a room, they do house all the families moving in and out).   Which base in Japan?  We have several.  My husband was in Sasebo, Yokosuka and Totsuka, my "kid" and his wife are in Atsugi.  I was in Yokosuka twice on my orders, and for many years as a dependent wife.

Let me know if you can't find the group.

[Anti M]

Yeah, there's a young married couple with a child and the wife is on the wives/fiances/girlfriends  group.  He got unaccompanied orders to Japan, two years.  She is heartbroken right now, and doesn't understand what happened.  It is tough on them, but not impossible.  I've been there, done that (kinda, we were both active duty and not stationed together for two years).

See if his fiance is interested in joining N4M and being in the GF group.  She could vent and share with the  ladies in the same situation who are close to her age.

[sharie.trumble]

Anti M thank you for all your information.  I did not find the Japan moms group, I am very green at this entire thing as you could probably tell.  Could you give me a hint as to where to do this and the same for my soon to be daughter in law N4M. 

I have been told conflicting things about going over seas.  I have heard that if you get stationed over seas that it is usually not more than 2 years but usually only 1 year.  But then my son said that they made it sound like it was the duration of his term (4 years).  Is this information that he can ask someone?  Is this information that the recruiting officer would be able to answer?  Would you by chance know the answer?

 

I am truly sorry to overwhelm you with questions.  Again thank you for your insites and if you could get the information on joining the groups that would be great.

Have a wonderful day.

 

[BunkerQB]

The first link is for the Japan Moms group.

http://www.navyformoms.com/group/japanmoms

This link is for the Okinawa Moms group

http://www.navyformoms.com/group/okinawa-moms

A list of all the N4M groups (based on geographical location) has been compiled for your convenience, click here

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/groups-geographical-by-state

I don't think Anti M will mind that I was standing in for her. Good luck.

[Anti M]

The recruiter wouldn't know.

Yes, Believe found me on the GF group.   She says two years, and that is a standard unaccompanied  overseas tour. (One year is the old standard for isolated overseas duty, which is NOT the same thing).   It is odd he was assigned there, having a wife and child, but all I can guess is he is needed, or the detailer did not see he was married.  Unfortunately, once he departs, the orders are pretty much locked in. 

I've been trying to be encouraging to her, this is rough, but honestly, I didn't see my husband more than 28 days our first two years of marriage.  I know, I was older, a sailor myself, and no child, so a different situation... but it can be done.  She'll need a lot of support, and right now she is going to go through an emotional process which isn't fun at all.  

Okinawa?  I don't know that area as well, so maybe if he's with the Marines, he can get her a waiver for sponsorship.  The Marines do being over the families of junior enlisted.  I didn't see what rate he is, so I can't judge what he might be doing.

Thanks BQB and Denise..... 

[Anti M]

Wait, Believe is not the right girl, she's married, with a child.....  I think we have two different cases here!  Sorry!!!!

[Denise-- Seabee Mom]

Anti is that the wife that goes by Believe? I told her to go track you down for info. Hope she found you