No word from my Nuke in a week and freaking out a bit! HELP!!!

[alpha Pavonis]

I am in much need of help and a pick me up right now! My boyfriend is on the USS Virginia and it has been exactly a week since I last heard from him! We have never gone this long without speaking since we made our relationship official. The longest has been 4 days, but he was busy doing some training stuff. I am freaking out because he hasn't text or called me and so on the 5th day of nothing I got frustrated and wrote him some very blunt text about how I felt and how he and I discussed before I agreed to be his girlfriend that communication is one of the most important things with a relationship along with honesty and trust. I am wondering if I mad him mad by my text, but I have also tried calling him several times and still nothing. If he were hurt or hospitalized they would contact his parents right? Then I know his parents would tell me. The last time we spoke on the phone it was a great light-hearted conversation with lots of laughs. So I don't know what to think right now. If he were sent out to sea I would think he would shut his phone off unless he left it in his room, but I doubt he left because they are not due to leave for another couple of months. I am in much need of advice an what to do right now!

[Pat L. in IL]

Oh honey, calm down! My son is a Nuke too and they are kept  very busy (especially if he hasn't earned his Dolphins yet) I'm sure he will call when he can but don't forget the Navy has total control over his time. If he is scheduled for deployment in a few months, contact will be even more difficult. It is not easy to have a relationship with someone in the military so you have to be strong and independent.

[ladyayp]

Alpha, Like pat told yo, calm down. I am sure he is fine. My son is also in the nuke feild and is often unreachable. If you want to keep your relationship strong, then you will have to learn to be strong and supportive. The last thing he needs is to worry wheter or not your alrigight. Hang in there.

[tobermorey]

His sub has probably gone under. When they are under water there is no signal so there is no communication. Sometimes they are not able to tell you they are leaving, they just go. When they surface and he is able, I am sure he will be in touch. My son left last week and I have no idea where they went or when he will be back. That's how it works. If anything happened to him you would have heard.Don't worry, you'll hear from him when it's time.

[Yvonne]

Well said ladies! Alpha live up to that name! Many relationships can't stand up to the pressures of non Navy life and being a Navy wife or girlfriend is much harder.Think of us MOM's who have had a relationship with our sons for 18 years, knowing where they are and what they're up to and then they go into Subs! I hadn't spoken to my son for over 2 months while he was underway. And this has happened several times over the past 5 years. I've actually spent one Christmas with him in all those years and other 4 I didn't even hear from him. Then there's birthdays, deaths, marriages, etc that they don't share with you because a) they are underway b) so busy with quals, training, working or c) sleeping (because they don't get much of that). 

If your relationship is strong and you're stronger it will all work out. Our 'job' as Navy moms, wifes, parents, girlfriends and friends is to be supportive, loving, understanding and trusting. As the Navy makes them better men, they also make US better people. I don't know who has the harder job. LOL! Hang in there. Like the others said calm down! Be independant and be the woman he wants to come home to. 

[lauren]

Alpha huggs dear

First off as a momma of a sub guy for 8 + years.....welcome to sub life. Because they are not due to leave does not mean that they have not left. Please give him a break I don't know how long he has been in but they can at times work the crap out of you when you are getting ready to leave and they get their nights and days mixed up . There are going to be many times in there career that there is no communication and you learn quickly NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS. Call a G/F and go have some fun. and come here as much as you need ..........but trust him and know he is Navy it is not his life now

[Barry's wife]

I am in the same boat..ha My husband has not contacted me in a week or so. He is on the USS Charlotte and is also a Nuke. Just remember that he is thinking of you and that if he could he would send you an email. I know he is fine. If you hear something that's not from him then you should worry. I have found that for days/weeks at a time they will just disappear. My theory is the boat is really far underwater so they can get the messages out because a few days later I will get a whole weeks worth of emails. If you need anything let me know! :)

[Arcadia]

The ladies are right. My boyfriend is also a nuke and there are times when it is a few days before I can hear from him, and sometimes they just have to go out for a few days on nearly no notice. You do have to trust him and know that he loves you and misses you more than anything, and he needs you to understand. It isn't fair that you always have to be the one who understands, but it is how it is. It is so worth it though. Mine is deployed and he has been out nearly two months with nothing but spotty email contact, but I know when I finally get that 3am phone call then I will forget all that adj be thankful he is safe and I know we are that much closer to the end of this deployment. I hope everyone's words help. If all else fails, spend some time with his family. I always do that when I am missing him most and it helps, it really does.