Need Advice..

[stephaa2430]

My fiance is a Seabee, and I have been reading online that it is hard to  be a Seabee's wife. I have been looking and reading everything I can possibly find, but I am not finding anything stating exactly why being a Seabees wife is so much harder, I don't even know if that statement is true. But considering I am going to be a Seabee's wife in less than two months, I would love to hear any advice that any of you are willing to give me. I have been trying to talk to anyone I can. I know that this is not going to be easy, but I would love to know everything and anything any of you think I should know. I have even talked to my fiance about it, and he has explained everything that he can to me, and wants to know "where the hell i am reading this stuff"lol. I have just been trying to get as much info as I can and just want some accurate information and advice.

[Kalena]

Being the spouse of any military person is hard.  Heck any marriage is work.  Just be open an honest with each other, talk to each other.  Communication is key to any happy marriage, it will be there long after the sex slows down. I can go on about other things but marriage is a discovery, every day will be different.  Some days will be good other not so much,  in the end with luck the good out does the bad and you will have had a happy marriage.  Good luck to the two of you, 33 yrs together (27 married) and still going strong.

[Anti M]

The only specific thing I can think of is their deployments are very different than a sailor attached to a ship.  With a ship, the spouse  knows  the overall schedule, and the deployments are cruises with many port calls, and you know about when they come back.  Six to eight months, although there can be extensions.  

Seabees go as a detachment,  and their deployments tend to be to far away places, and can be 12 months or more.  They also go into hazardous areas first, to build the facilities for the troops following.  

So, potentially more time apart?   

[stephaa2430]

Thank you both for replying. Anti M, that must be what they are talking about when they say it is harder. I knew that already, but I thought it might be something else I just wanted to make sure lol. Before my fiance actually left for boot camp his recruiter sat me down and explained what Anti M just said to me. His recruiter is actually a Seabee as well so he gave me a lot of info before. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something. Thank you so much!

[stephaa2430]

As of right now, my fiance is in Port Hueneme for A School. He graduates April 12, and then he gets to come home for 14 days. While he is home for those 14 days we are getting married. Our wedding date is April 20, and his 14 days are up on April 26. As of right now, he was told that he will most likely be in Mississippi for ECS. Someone told him that if we are married before the date that he is to report to Mississippi, then there is a possibility that I might be able to go with him. But I was under the impression that ECS is training and it is less than 6 months, therefore I cannot go with him whether we are married or not. Does anyone know anything about this?

[Anti M]

I know very little about that specific training, but I do know about marriage and orders.  He already has those orders, obviously, because you know about them.  In order to be moved by the Navy for C school, there are two conditions to meet ... C school must be longer than six months (20~something weeks of seat time, not counting hold periods) and the sailor must be married before the orders are issued.    Not before the report date, before the orders were even given to him.  So no, not unless you're moving on your own dime and then he has to ask permission to live ashore with you... likely to be granted, as it is a C school.  He can call the school and ask about the policies for married students.    

The biggest problem with moving down to his C school... you'll be on his next set of orders, and be moved... but if you went down to C school on your own and left stuff behind at home, the move is only from ONE location.  From the training location, any furniture in storage is going to stay there unless you go fetch it on your own dime.  I don't know how much stuff you have, but think about it all very carefully.  

[stephaa2430]

Okay just got more info. My fiance knows that he is going to be in Mississippi, but he said they do not tell him if that is his forst duty station or if he is there for ECS until the last week of A school..

[HalfofaWhole]

My husband is a Seabee and this is how we did it.  We got married after his A school and before he was going to ECS which is in Mississippi.  We waited until he received his orders (toward the end of A school) before making any moving plans.  He received orders for Mississippi, so we drove the U-haul down there when he needed to report for ECS.  Since his permanent duty station was Mississippi, it was no big deal for me to move there for ECS.  ECS is only four weeks and he was able to come home every night after class.  That being said, you should keep the following things in mind:

 

1.  Don't assume he has two weeks immediately following A school until you see it on his orders.  In some rare cases, people are sent to ECS first and then given two weeks before reporting to the duty station.

 

2.  We opted for off-base housing.  We knew the navy wasn't paying for the move, so we made all our own arrangements and never dealt with the housing office.  He just added me to his page 2 and notified the command when he got to Gulfport.  If you decide to move during ECS and live on base housing, you may not be able to and might have to wait until after ECS.

 

Let me know if you have any questions or need advice on apartments or base housing.  Good luck!

 

[Denise-- Seabee Mom]

My son has always known his deployment schedule months and months in advance. I have never heard that Seabee spouses have it harder then the others. My son has been one for close to 14 years. The hazardous areas first, is very true. They are the construction force but they have to fight too. They are the ones sent over to Afgan. Mine was sent to Iraq years ago and as a mom I think that was the hardest time I had with all this. You know they are on the ground. Back then the contact sucked..well it still does. That's is hard to. Since they go in 1st they dont have all the things like phone and internet service. They are the ones putting all that stuff in.

Seabee's are a tight community. They look out after each other and have the Marines alot. What kind of Seabee will he be? Mine is a CM.

Check out the Seabee moms group too. There are some wives in there

[Denise-- Seabee Mom]

ECS training is not 6 months at all. Its like a month. Its not C-school. C-school may not come for a couple years if at all. Just depends on if the Navy wants to spend the money.

I just saw Port Hueneme so he too must be a CM?

So is your fiance a Seabee now or is he still in boot camp? A little confused on that one.