Waiting Waiting Waiting

[VirginiaMom]

I either need advice or I just need to vent.

My son has been working on getting into the Navy for well over a year...probably a year and a half.  I feel he's getting the run-around from his recruiter.  He took his ASVAB in November or December 2011 and got an 81; he's been waiting for a MEPS date ever since.  He has a medical waiver for strep throat (?!) that's expired twice.  Yesterday his recruiter told him to meet him at the office today and when my son got there found out the recruiter was in Richmond (we're in Virginia Beach).  He calls him almost daily and the guys always busy and says he'll call back but never does. 

It's not only upsetting it's starting to make me angry.  My son is 21 and wants to take care of this himself, and I'm letting him, but its hard to not get involved especially with the recruiter he's got.  I wish I could give the recruiter hell. 

Has anyone else gone through this?

[aj2daway]

  Yes, something similar.

You can request to speak to the recruiter's superior, if the recruiter continues this or won't meet with you in attendance. If that does not work then contact the Chief. They do want to know about these issues and it doesn't hurt to do it. My SR was at first reluctant to get anyone else involved but then was relieved when I did step in. Just let them know, nicely, what is occurring and you want to know why. Since your son does not have a contract yet, this may be a little more delicate.

Also is there another recruiting station in your area? It may not be convenient but the recruiters there may be more professional. 

[Annie]

I understand your son may be adverse to you 'helping'...... have you thought about printing up a few of these excellent replies for him to read?  That way you are not 'crossing his boundaries', you have simply asked friends for advice, and here is what they said.  Funny how other people's opinions can sound more valid to our kids! 

My son had the same experience with an officer recruiter.  He was simply not the guy's 'first priority'.  He finally changed recruiters and Voila!  He is now an Officer:)

[CaptainFatso]

I watched my daughter go through the same thing for about three months until I decided to do the Dad thing. I chose not to speak with the recruiter directly. I spoke to the Chief. The young Petty Officer working with my daughter ended up being much more thorough and professional with my kid.

My daughter was a tad embarrassed, but she got over it.

[Angie]

You can do one of two things...one go talk to the Recruiter and do the mom thing...or you can stay out of it and let your son learn to handle things.  Sorry to say...you won't be there to fight his battles ones he leaves for bootcamp..so by you going and trying to fix this..it really isn't teaching him anything.

 

Your SON should go to a new recruiter...but that is on him to do that, not you to go step in and try to fix everything for him.

 

[CaptainFatso]

I have a different perspective.

My daughter went through the un-returned calls and the skipped appointments. She also go to hear those famous lines:

--- "I'm not telling you to lie but..."

--- "I'm here to get you in while MEPS is there to keep you out"

More, this institutionalized disgraceful recruiting behavior is not limited to the Navy nor is it limited to this particular era. Its been going on forever. Its completely unnecessary. Our military has a great product to sell.

Now while I'm a huge proponent of letting young adults learn how to overcome obstacles in their path, I'm not in favor of passively watching them get bullied... especially when the bullying occurs on the taxpayer's dime and that's what it is. These recruiters are authority figures and some of them have got this system gamed and won't hesitate to treat these applicants like pawns.

In fact, to my way of thinking, a civilian mom or dad who gets involved is merely pulling rank and understand, I would not have hesitated to march my hind end to the congressman's office had it been necessary.

More Angie, I would be willing to do it again. Perhaps more so now that my daughter is a sailor. For example, if bureaucracy or career "@$$ covering" were keeping her from getting medical attention she needed or she was not being protected against something like sexual assault or harassment, I would be ALL over someone's sh!t.

To my way of thinking, those of us seasoned adults willing to raise a little hell aren't the problem. Its those that won't. The bottom line is that is OUR military and the problems that exist precisely because we allow them to.

[Suzanne_S07/DIV161]

Whole heartily agreed... every word.

[Stephanie (S-PACT/Yokosuka,JP)]

Very well said!

[Suzanne_S07/DIV161]

I am pretty sure this was a vent... not a open invite for a lesson on how to take care of your child or man/woman.

My son went through the EXACT same thing... A year of having his chain jerked every which way but Sunday - including the stupid waiver....

Virgina Mom- never fear- your future recruit will get their day. And yes, if it has been this long... I would kindly go to the next level- yourself & recruit- and express how important this is to you- your recruit- and hopefully the NAVY. Everything that needs to be done has been taken care of and at this point- you feel feet are dragging for some unknown reason and you would like to know what YOU can do to help things along.

Hardly anyone request to be a recruiter. Most get "Volun-told" and their Chief knows that. Speak to the Chief.

[Another Navy Mom]

My son experienced this with the Coast Guard recruiter.  He told him if he didn't call him back in a week he'd go talk to Navy recruiter.  End of story here... my son PIR's on 5/11/12 in Div 812!  Hooyah!!!  I didn't get involved and he handled it all himself.

[Concernedad]

Angie, I might disagree with you here. Her son will have plenty of time to grow up once in. While I admire her son wanting to take care of this himself, the truth is, these recruiters aren't much more than kids themselves. Sometimes it does take an authority figure to get things done.

Bottom line, it's obvious that this recruiter isn't the least bit concerned in taking care of your son, Virginia. If you have another recruiting station in the area, by all means have your son go there, and voice his concerns. The recruiters still have a job to find good recruits.

If there isn't another station in the area, I'd have no qualms about calling and asking to speak with someone superior. While the Navy isn't quite so motivated to find new recruits, they still have recruiters for a reason. Don't get angry, save your sanity.

In other words....(wait for it).....Yes Virginia! There is sanity clause.

 

P.S. this coming from a dad who chewed out the Marine recruiter for unprofessionalism. Needless to say, my son is not in the Marines now.

[aj2daway]

oh no,you didn't! sanity clause?!?!  you have just been waiting forever to utilize that one,haven't you?

thanks for the laugh.

[BR549]

There's recruiters in all of the Hampton Roads area there's no need to go to Richmond.  Norfolk is the largest naval base in the world there's Recruiters abound.