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From the vet moms to the newbies, "I wish someone had told me" to expect/not expect ....
This is my second go-round for an SR to graduate and got to thinking how the first one was in the time that we got to spend with him after his PIR.
Even though we had received lots of advice before he went in, they neglected to tell me that he would be so tired, so used to taking orders, so zombied. I thought that the Navy had taken away my son's personality and sense of humor. We took him off base-nothing, we went to his first request for a meal (McDonalds) - unenthusiastic. We toured some of Chicago, he mostly stood at attention. OMGoodness, I was devasted.
After our visit, the shock of the new him had me crying (I'm not a cryer) as we drove all the way home.When we got back and encountered the same Navy "advisors" and I told them, they just laughed "oh yeah, we knew that!" I coulda slugged them - I was that upset.
The happy ending is that he shipped to Monterey for A school. I was able to get a phone call a week later and he sounded sooo much better. I was ecstatic and told my husband that "my boy was back". I just wish I had known to expect the possiblity of that zombie behavior so I could have handled better. So I thought I would let others know this time around so they would not be as worried as I had been-sorta paying it forward.
If there are any other experiences that other moms have encountered that would help, please share.
Views: 174
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by juliebelle28 (NukeMom Prototype) on
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aj2daway - Thanks - this is really great information. Yep I had a similar experience with my oldest graduating from Marine Bootcamp. I think we had him about a week before he went to MCT (Marine Combat Training). He was super weird about sleeping, he always stood at attention (thumbs tucked, feet 45 degree angle, etc). We took him to Disneyland and he really relaxed there - like it brought out the "old" kid. (We are passholders, so this is something he was very used to) Of course with the Navy, we won't have a whole week or more before his next training.
By time I started visiting my son at A-school and his one month visit after A-school, we started definitely seeing my son "back".
In retrospect, he says he acted "like a boot" - referring to being fresh out of BC. Also with the Navy - they have to wear their uniform and that puts a lot of pressure on them. In the Marines, once we left base, he was allowed to change into civies.
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Permalink Reply by Crazy Blonde (Ship 2, Div-925) on
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Thanks for sharing this moms! I'm so glad you did, it will help keep me from worrying so much for sure. :)
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Permalink Reply by aj2daway on
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any other moms that remember something that would be useful to the rest of us???
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Permalink Reply by ellen0502 on
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My son PIR 4/20 was extremely tired and very watchful to those around him. He fell asleep at every chance, but never wanted to stop doing.
My sons eyes were wide all the time and he looked at everyone sure someone was waiting in the wings for him to do something wrong. This is probably the normal, and they are told that there are others out, not in uniform, and they may not know them! They have been watched 24/7 for eight weeks and now are "out on their own" looking to fail, they won't, just don't let them punch puppies and beat up the elderly they will be fine. :) Remind the to take covers (hats) off inside and put them on outside, watch your PDA with your sailor, no drinking, no smoking etc. and most of all reassure them that they are OK and doing nothing wrong. It was eight weeks of doing nothing right and all of the sudden they are thrust back into the "real world" in a uniform that all can identify, expected to do everything they have been taught correctly and they will.
It was only the first day that was really difficult, but the person you dropped off at BC is still in there I promise!
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Can you tell us more about the PDA? Are they allowed to hold hands with their GFs? Can they hug friends and family in public? Can they do a typical Kiss? (Not necking with the GF, just a regular kiss?) Thank You for all this help ladies. :)
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Permalink Reply by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on
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No holding hands, no hugging, no kissing...no PDA. CB there is a Discussion on your PIR group..."Proper Public Behavior..." I'll bump it up.
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Permalink Reply by AaronsMom (Ship 04, Div 811) on
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I'm loving this thread! I'm getting so excited to see him, and I would rather expect this zombie behavior and not get than be totally unprepared for it. I've pretty much told my family I don't want to make any plans until we see what SR wants to do because he may be so tired and just want to watch movies and chill.
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I'd say every SR is different.
My oldest had a tough time in BC; I expect my SR to be a little more relaxed because he's done well in BC (from what I can tell). He also is not a stressed out as the oldest by nature. Guess we will see
Love the pic Lady Hamilton - thanks for sharing your perspective as well :)
The one thing I noticed immediately about my oldest son was his eating habits. We had lunch with him on Family Day at MCRD - whoa!! It was awesome.
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also want to mention about the numerous toll roads.That really surprised us the first time around and we really had to scramble for change. I am trying to make sure that we have the change and started working on that today...along with everything else. (except cleaning my house)
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