What is best?

[Starrunner24]

 Let me start with this, I am married and it will be 8 months on the 30th. I have a very loving husband and i want to do what is best for us. We don't have kids yet and plan to in a few years. It is a struggle in the town we live in to pay for rent, bills and a new car payment. I am interested in going back to school, but its a rough subject with tuition. A friend of mine is on leave from the marines and she suggested Navy because I am interested in medical and she said it would be a good branch for my husband and I and of course medical. I do have a few concerns and didn't know if anyone else was going through something like this. First I want him to stay close to me, and of course for bootcamp he couldn't be there. But after getting out of that what happens? He has a cousin who's husband has been gone for 6 months and I just can't imagine going that long without him. My friend told me all the the wonderful things she has been doing since she has joined and i don't know any Navy friends that are very close to us. And if i bring this up to the husband I want to have some good facts for him. And he's afraid of being away from his family for a long period of time. What to do?! I don't want to cause and trouble on here, I'm just a point where it's the first time I have seen this friend in 2 years and she came back saying that nothing has changed here since she left. And that is very true. I want to make a change but I have a husband that is very close to his family here, but it's hard to make a living with what we have.

[Anti M]

The Navy is about going to sea, even corpsmen do, or they might have shore duty only, or they go into combat with the Marines.  If you are both in medical, you may end up competing for the same billets... they put you where the jobs are, not where your spouse is.  This gets problematic as you both advance.  Fewer supervisory jobs, fewer opportunities to be in the same location.

The Navy does offer a good life, but it isn't a storybook life at all.  There will be separations, long ones, six to eight months or more. Every year. Or maybe not.   If you are both active duty, it can be longer; my husband and I saw each other a total of 28 days the first two years we were married.  We did get stationed near each other eventually, but I had to choose between him and the Navy.  I chose him.  He served his full 20 years and we get retirement benefits, well worth the tough times.  I loved being in the Navy, but I didn't always love being a dual military couple.

And he'd see his family much less than you, his spouse.  He'd be lucky to get home once a year.  Some people are fine with that as they reap the benefits of military service, other people cannot bear the thought.  

[Angie]

If one of your big concerns are to be away from your family for any amount of time, than I would NOT recommend going into the military.

 

You will go to bootcamp (which is 7-10 weeks depending on when you go..no you have no control over how long it is), than you go to your school (which can be anywhere from 2 weeks to almost a year, depending on what job you get).  Depending on the length of the school your husband may or may not be able to move to be near you...BUT you will have to EARN the right to live off base (which can be taken away if you mess up) that takes a few weeks.  Oh-yea..after bootcamp you will NOT get to spend the night with your husband, you will either get a few hours of time off (liberty) or the weekend (but you have to be back on base every night by a certian time and will be allowed off again in the am at a certain time).

 

If he is afraid of being away from his familiy...the military is going to be issues...as it will cost money for him to go home all the time.  Recruiters will tell you that you can pick where you get stationed...NOT TRUE...you will go where the USN sends you...which could be either close to home or on the other side of the world.

 

Recommend you and him have a heart to heart about what is best for both of you.

 

Something else to keep in mind...if you go enlisted....you have to finish all your schooling and than be at your command for a year before you can start college course..and when you take college courses...it is on your own time and normally only one class at a time.  If you have to work, you can't go to class..if the ship gets underway...you are going to miss classes.  USN will ALWAYS come first! 

 

Something else to think about...are you and your husband ready to move at the drop of a hat to were ever they tell you too?  Are you ready to be away from your husband and he away from you for 6-12 months at a time?  YOU don't have a choice when you have to deploy (be away from husband for 6-12 months) also if you refuse to deploy...you will be dishonorable discharge (kicked out, never to serve in the military and also never to get a goverment job)

[BunkerQB]

The military is not for you and your family. Try moving away from your area - go a place w more opportunities. Don't give up. Keep trying. It is still a lot less expensive to get an education in this country than anywhere else on this planet. The jobs in the medical field will be plentiful.

Good luck.