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**UPDATE 4/26/2022** Effective with the May 6, 2022 PIR 4 guests will be allowed. Still must be fully vaccinated to attend.
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confused....
Okay, so my boyfriend is currently at bootcamp. He's been there since February and he graduates in june. He had a setback and was injured so had to stay longer to recover. Tonight his best friend came over and we were talking about how excited we were about him coming home. But then everything set in...after his graduation he gets to come home for 2 weeks. Then he leaves for his A-School and there's a chance he won't be able to come back home for a good YEAR and a HALF. I knew there was a chance, but I don't know what I'm going to do. I've been going CRAZY without him here for just these last months. I don't know how to talk to him about this because I am so proud of him and what he is doing and he made me promise that no matter what happened that I'd stay by him and I will....but I have sooo many emotions going through my head right now. I don't know what to do or how to prepare myself to say goodbye to him for that long right after I finallyyyy get to see him again. :,(
Views: 156
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by a1beachbug on
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Communicate, communicate, communicate! If you don't tell him honestly and openly how you feel it's gonna end up hurting both of you in the long run. You should always feel like you can communicate no matter what. Have you thought about getting married? Then you could be with him and both of you would get the added benefits with it.
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Permalink Reply by eyeronics on
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I don't want to break your heart anymore.... but are you 100% positive that he gets to come home for 2 weeks before A school? My boyfriend thought that he would get 2 weeks home after basic but it wasn't true.. They usually just ship out all of their sailors off to their A schools as soon as they graduate..
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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I also have doubts about that two weeks of leave. Graduating in June means he's only earned ten days of leave at most (they earn 2.5 days each month). So no, not two weeks.
The only time they come home directly after boot camp is if their graduation is during the Christmas stand down. The ARMY gets leave after basic, but never the Navy. They go directly to their A school. My ET was injured in boot camp, and was delayed that long, and he had to report directly to school, no leave.
Which A school will he be attending? A long A school will mean he will have the opportunity to take leave over the holidays.
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Permalink Reply by JAMIE-SAILOR GF on
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Well, before we got together he conceived a child with someone soooo yeahhh..it is due in june like 2 days after he graduates from bootcamp. so they told him he would be home for most likely 2 weeks.
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Doesn't matter that he has a child coming or not, he will go to "A" School and THEY will decide IF he can take leave or not. That is NOT up to RTC.
The Navy will give him 10 days "daddy leave" BUT that doesn't have to be approved while in a training status, and can be given to him up to a year after the baby is born. Per the insturction that is only approved for those who are MARRIED. So if he isn't married, than he isn't going to get it.
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Permalink Reply by heathee12 on
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It is SUPER important that when you can see him you make the most of your time together and be honest about everything you are thinking so that you can both be on the same page. You can be proud of him and honest (and loving) at the same time - otherwise you do yourself a huge disservice. Almost everyone on this site can understand and can sympathize with what you are going through.
I saw my boyfriend for 12 hours after graduation almost 8 weeks ago (and he has been gone since Feb too) - though now we can talk everyday. that said he should graduate in another week or so - might get put on hold in MS and still doesn't have orders so yup -it's all up in the air - you see where I am going with this right? My best advice to you is focus on the time that you do get to spend with him and make it count - whether it is soon or in another few months. Usually they go straight to A-school after BC- is this different for your bf because he was injured? Just hang in there - it is tough, but we are all tougher! you prepare by thinking it through and knowing what you are in for - that's the truth.
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Permalink Reply by meagan5220 on
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well Idk about them sending him home for the girl to have the baby.. unless they are married. I have had friends get prego and their man be in A school not even classed up yet and they wouldnt send him home, even though the baby was having lots of issues. I have heard of girls having their babies without their husbands. I mean I guess they might but Idk about all that.
I know it sucks but welcome to the military life :( pretty much thats how it goes. My husband should have been home from deployment 19 days ago... he wont be home until the end of the summer at the earliest. It sucks but its the way stuff goes. Whats his A school like Anti M said? a year and a half would put him going through at least one christmas for sure if not two. plus when he is in a school especially that long you can go visit. You do have to learn to communicate with him but you also have to learn to cope with it in a healthy way on your own or his time in the Navy will drive you crazy. Oh and Its not goodbye... Its always see you later.
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Sailors in training don't get to go home for a spouse having a baby, so a non-spouse, well, that is not happening. There is such a thing as paternity leave for married sailors, but it is not for the birth, it is for "bonding" and can be granted within 365 days of the birth. But again, for married sailors only.
Someone is giving him very bad information. Best you can do is communicate, go with the flow and be flexible as new information comes in. You're new at this, and so is he. You can do this, just be patient and keep asking and talking and learning.
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