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Hi my name is Amy. I just have a few questions if there is anyone who has every been in the situation or knows anyone that has. Three months ago i got engaged to my sailor, i am 24 he is 27. We have been together for 5 years 4 of then he was active duty and has now re-enlisted. A lot of long distance but we managed to stay together strong and trust each other. He is currently on his 2nd deployment. As you all know they can not tell us everything they are doing at the time, but i do know that he is not in a safe area and that he is doing and seeing a lot of dangerous things.
Within the past 2 weeks he has become a completely different person. I dont even feel like i am talking to the same man. He kept telling me he is messed up in his head and crazy things. Now within the last week he is going on to say that he doesnt think we are going to work out, and that i should not waste my time on him. The last email i got from him said that he cant do this to me anymore and that i need to enjoy my life and stop wasting it on him. And as stupid as this sounds he took off that we were engaged on facebook. Dum facebook lol. Of course he hasnt talked to his parents so i have to do al the explaining when it comes to them. I have not heard from him in about a week. which may sound normal but i was hearing from him at least once a day. I guess i am just so confused and i was wondering if there is anyone else out there that has dealt with this or knows anything about it, or maybe could just give me some advice, because i am just so lost in all of this. thankyou to whoever listens :)
Views: 209
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Craig on
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Amy, since I'm a guy I can't give you the same support as the women here at N4M. However, by noticing your profile picture it appears you have a child, and it appears that child falls within the 5yr you've been together. I am not sure if that is his child or just your own niece or nephew. So....
If this child is his, you need to make dang sure he pays for the support of that child, which include making sure the medical continues. If the child isn't on his page 4 of his service record, then it needs to be.
You guys can continue working on your relationship, but the child comes 1st. Hopefully the child is already on his page 4 (if it is his).
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Permalink Reply by amy t on
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hey craig, i really appreciate the feedback but thats my sweet little niece in that picture :)
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Permalink Reply by BunkerQB on
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I have been thinking about what you posted a lot. Please don't give up on your guy. You may be the thread that is keeping him alive and sane. If you were my son's fiancee, I would ask that you stay in touch, stay positive, keep being supportive. If you were my son's fiancee, I would get together with you and make sure that he hears from us often, that he understands that he has a family (that includes you) that love him and will support him wherever he is and will continue to support him when he comes home.
Tell him if he really wants to break up with you, he has to come home, look you in the eyes and tell you face to face. He does sound like he is going through a rough patch. Sometimes, guys (I have two sons) will say stuff like "I don't want you to waste your time on me." when in reality, they desperately need you to be there for them and let them know that they are worth waiting for.
You must love him very much. Ignore the Facebook thing. Good luck.
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Permalink Reply by Concernedad on
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I have to agree with Bunker. I'm no psychologist, but who knows what thoughts are being put into his head. Perhaps it's a test to see if you will truly stand by him. Perhaps one of his buddies just found out his girlfriend was cheating on him?
Considering we don't know you or him, it's impossible for us to advise, but I'd suggest talking to his parents. Perhaps they know something they haven't told you.
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