Feeling Alone

[togetherandapart]

Ok I have a question... Does the whole feeling alone thing get any easier or does it always stay there? My boyfriend hasn't been at A school but a couple of weeks but I feel very alone. I sometimes feel like I dont have a boyfriend. And we talk to each other every day but idk I catch myself stopping and thinking that I am alone right now and it sucks. I'm sure once I get back to school and start working more it will feel different but I just don't know if the feeling will ever subside some or will it always be there torturing me?

[Jenn_NicksWifey]

I was wondering the same thing.  My hubby is in bootcamp and should have started week 4.  I'm in charge of packing our house up for when we move because I don't think he's coming home between A-School and his duty station.  Or if he does, it will be very short, certainly not enough time to pack a whole house.  I kind of feel like a widow because I'm packing up all his things.  I've never put away his things for him before, not laundry, his tools, or packed for vacation or anything.  I haven't done too much since it's still a ways away and we have two kids that keep me very busy, but tonight I had decided is the night to pack his game-worn hockey jerseys, which are among his prized possessions.  People SERIOUSLY into hockey buy, sell and trade them like you would a baseball card. 

I think the worst was getting that box, with the clothes in it that were the last ones I saw him in and having to do that laundry and put it away.  I've gotten 3 letters from him that don't even look like his handwriting, they all have to write the same, too. 

I have a hard time evoking that feeling of him.  His pillows smelled like him, but that has worn off.  Probably because I use them now more than my own.  Traces of his daily routine have been put away, his shoes by the door, or his hoodie over the desk chair, his deodorant and razor on the bathroom sink.  I know he's not coming back to this house to stay. 

So, I guess what I'm saying is, you are not alone in your feeling of being alone.  If that makes sense. 

[togetherandapart]

Yea that makes since. Me and my boyfriend didn't live together but we have been together for 5 years now and it feels like we are married. Bootcamp is hard and we just got done with it a couple of weeks ago. The letters are amazing and that came to be the only thing I looked forward to.

Its had because I have to wait a year before there is a thought of being able to move to where he is. He is in nuke school so I have to wait til he is in prototype to even think about being able to live with him. Which will either be in SC or NY. 

I have kinda become a little hermit crab in my apartment and don't really feel like going and doing anything besides going to work and school when it starts again. lol personally I dont like looking at other couples makes me sad. lol

But I am ready for July to come and go because I get to go see him for his birthday. I think the thing that sucked the most is that after he graduated bootcamp we only got a couple hours friday with him and then a couple hours at the airport sat and then he left.

Depending on were your husband is going depends on how long you will get with him. If he is staying in GL then you may not get a lot of time with him after graduation but you will get the rest of the weekend with him. My boyfriend had to leave sat morning for South Carolina. Which sucked.

But bootcamp at first was really hard for me but it got easier, I cherished his letters and the phone calls I got. I get to talk to him now but it isn't the same. But stay strong through bootcamp because it will get a little better. Im just ready for a year to go by so the possibility of me getting to live with him is a lot closer. 

[NavyDoll Ebony]

Its normal to feel alone sometimes...because you are basically. From your spouse that is. But you have to remember that this is his career and its what the both of you signed up for. If you wanna be with military man these are the obstacles. I know because me and thousands of other gfs/fiances/wifes feel the same way. But guess what? You are not alone. Talk to family/friends and ppl on this website when you fell down or alone. It helps me alot of times. And when you guys talk everyday what is the part thats making you feel most alone? 

[togetherandapart]

It isnt when we talk to each other that makes me feel alone, because sometimes we get on skype and just sit with each other and I dont feel alone its like he is here with me. Its at night mostly I feel alone and then when Im around my friends with their boyfriends and stuff. Thats what makes me feel alone. It isnt as much as it was when he was in bootcamp but it still is there. It has just been hard we have been together for 5 years and for most of our relationship we have been together. I guess it will take some getting use to like it was for bootcamp which I did get use to. We have talked about me coming to live with him when he gets to prototype and I hope that happens when the time comes. But I dont feel alone when we talk its when he's gone is when I feel alone. Which I'm sure will get better. I need to get use to being alone right? lol I am looking forward to this new life when I get in it, I know Im in it already but I dont feel like it right now. Im in the same place doing the same things Im ready for the change that he has already gotten Im ready to be in this new and challenging life with him. 

[Team Leo <3]

Ugh, I feel the exact same way.. And I absolutely hate it! :(.. For some odd reason, it feels worst than it did in boot camp.. I just want him back home!!!

My friends tell me that I feel this way because I'm afraid of loosing him, so the distance doesn't help.

I'm so glad I have this site! I feel no one else understands how much I miss him and all of my frustration :(

[togetherandapart]

I'm not afraid of losing him. We have been through a lot for being together for so long and before he left for bootcamp would have been the time for him to cut ties and start a new, but he didn't want that and I'm sure we will be ok. 

I am thankful for this site to. I'm glad I'm not the only crazy girl that thinks all this. lol 

I'm just ready to be with him. I didn't get enough time with him after he graduated so I'm looking forward to going to see him in August for his birthday. I'm going to spend about 5 days with him so I'm excited.

[meagan5220]

Girl you gotta get out of the house and do stuff for yourself! Otherwise it will never go away!!! I dont mean this to sound rude but with military relationships you will be alone for a lot of his time in! Its hard as hell but that doesnt mean you cant do it! If you let yourself wallow in it then you will never get out of it! Shake it! I am going through a deployment right now, yea I get upset I have my bad days but you cant let it keep you down or you will drive yourself crazy! Volunteer, pick up a hobby, start working out, do something for YOU. (school doesnt count lol, believe me you will need something thats for you!) Pick something that you can include him in when he is there if he wants or can take a break if you need to, but you gotta do stuff for yourself and be happy. Being happy while he is gone doesnt make you a bad person it means you can stand spending time with yourself and I always tell my girls if you cant stand to be alone with yourself how can you expect someone else to? lol Its just a joke but its true in a way as well.

 

When I am having a bad day I take a mini bath.. lol its when I turn on the shower, sit down and just let everything out, cry, yell, think etc. Anything I need to do to feel better. Then you stand up and you let it wash down the drain and get on with your week.

 

One huge thing with being with someone in the military is you have to realize even if they arent there with you or talking to you because they cant that they still love you. On deployments they can go weeks without communication. I have gone 10 days without an email and thats still not as long as some people I know.

 

So I am sure you can tell I am one of those "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" kind of girl, yea it sucks and definitely have your bad days but time will go by sooo much faster if you are enjoying your life! Keep your chin up girl.

[meagan5220]

oh and word to the wise... never read letters from bootcamp during deployments lol :) they dont have the same amount of time to send emails typically that they had to write letters so you typically wont get as many long love letter emails. Sometimes but they are tired, and working long hours and computer time can be limited.

[togetherandapart]

Yea I know I need to find something to pass the time. I'm in a weird time in my life where I'm trying to figure out what I want to go to school for and trying to do it the quickest route because I want to be done by the time he is done with school so we can get married before he is first deployed. I'm living in a place where I dont want to be so I'm not all that happy. I'm just trying to get through this month so one I can move back home and go back to school and 2 so I can see my Sailor in August for his birthday which I'll be going for 5 days. I think once I get past this month and get back home and get school and work going and keep myself busy for a least a year until he gets to Prototype I can hopefully move in with him. Thats what I'm hoping for. But I just need to get use to it like i got use to it while he was in bootcamp. 

[Lauren689]

I've been feeling the same way. My boyfriend has only been in bootcamp for 2 weeks now but I guess for him it would be week 3. I have not received a letter or heard anything from yet. And i feel like i don't have a boyfriend as well, I thought i was wrong thinking this, but knowing other girlfriend/wives feel the same way helps a lot. I just keep myself busy and i write him every night. He will be going to Nuke training too after bootcamp in SC... can't wait for his training to be over with! 

[Navy Ballerina]

I feel the same way! I havnt seen my bf in almost 4 months. I cant take it anymore its literally killing me inside that i cant see him. It doesnt even feel like we are together just feels like were friends kinda weird.

[NavyGirlfried108 (Ship 09 Div205]

I understand how you feel! I'm not sure if it ever will go away until you are with him. I feel the same way, but I know that I will see him and that the feeling of joy will overcome me. You just have to have faith, and trust that he is feeling the same way and once you get to see him everything will be alright. I found myself occupying myself to overcome it. I have three jobs, I read, I spend time with family. simple things that keep you occupied can help you overcome this feeling. Just be strong!!