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Outraged Momma Bear
I am hearing some not so great things happening on this website.
They range from cliques to RDC's trolling so they can cause problems for our SR's.
I have decided that I don't need this site like a handful of others I have heard from that have been publicly chastised on this site for posting things as mundane as their child's first name.
This is a sad thing, considering the idea behind it is a great one. I shall just be smart and stick with the actual Navy Website, my SR's recruiter and my SR for any information I need along with the group I have joined elsewhere that appears to have more knowledge of what is happening due to the fact there are more there sharing without fear of being talked down to or slapped in the face by someone else's words.
Shame on those of you that had less than good judgement in your actions and thoughtlessness in what you placed out in open forum towards other mothers who are just trying to make it through the next day of not hearing from their SR's.
Momma Bear
Views: 3811
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by ebigirl on
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OMG....Craig, you have once again made my day!! Your sense of humor never ceases to amaze me. If this is what being a part of a clique is, I'm SO glad I signed up!
I had seen and read Mamma Bear's post and was so stunned I couldn't respond. Yes, my fingers became speechless. I guess there really is one in every crowd, and we can't please everyone.
Angie...I have ALWAYS admired your posts as I can rely on you to not sugar coat anything. THANK YOU for your service to our country, and your service to this website.
BQB...I will keep you and your family in my prayers at this very difficult time. Family is family, no matter if your born into it or fall into it. Thank you also for your service to this website...your advice and posts are priceless.
Lady Hamilton...Your family is also in my prayers. I thank you also for your service and dedication to N4M's.
To anyone that I may have missed...thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting me through the past 2 years of the unknown, the very dark days while my son was in bc, and for "having my back"!!
Ebigirl
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Permalink Reply by amandamomof4 on
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Momma Bear I am sorry you seem to have had a bad experience.
The problem with the written word is that we easily add our own inflection whether it is there or not. If you are hurt you may read personal attack where there isn't any, then insincerity in any apology. I recently witnessed this on one of the groups I belong to. It is a shame. Insead of being outraged about someone cautioning you about using a name, see concern for your kids safety by a stranger.
Yes we are all nervous and scared for our kids when we come here but lets face it they have VOLUNTEERED to serve in the Navy. They were not dragged out of their beds in the middle of the night and forcibly made to serve ( happening in other parts of the world). While we can't talk to them for a few weeks, we know where they are, and roughly what is happening with them. They are being fed, clothed and provided a bed and at the end of that being given a highly specialized education.
In all the reading I have done on this site I have seen compassionate understanding, matter of fact answers to questions, lovely examples of friendship born of shared circumstance and concern for virtual strangers children. If that is a clique sign me up.
You ladies and gentlemen are apreciated by me. You are helping me prepare for my son being gone while yours already are. Bless you for sharing your knowledge!
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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I see I'm late to this party... yeah, I'm one of the blunt ones also. But hey, this is the internet, you can't read too much into replies unless someone actually calls you names specifically. Take what info is useful, ignore that which truly does not apply, and realize there are a variety of experiences and perceptions in this online community. When it becomes too much or you can't sort out the good from the irrelevant, turn it off and walk away. The internet is just a tool on a machine, no one makes anyone come here and interact.
Poor SR, those kids don't know a thing. Recruiters aren't much better, which baffles me. Best of luck.
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Permalink Reply by BR549 on
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I've been here 3 years this past July and believe me, yes sometimes my feelings get hurt, but everyone I have ever encountered have only wanted or tried to help. There are some things I would never have found out without, AntiM, Angie, BunkerQB, Craig and I'm sure I'm leaving out some. Wow, on here 2 weeks and don't like us. I'm sorry, this website is a true lifesaver when you can't talk to you sailor. I'm almost thru my 1st deployment and it would have been rougher than it was without my ship group. Good luck to you and him
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Something funny to send your Sailor on deployment! Sending a box of stuff to a friend and putting this stuff in there! LOL!
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LOL!! This is great Angie. Keeping the mood light and fun has to help anyone who is deployed. I have not yet experienced a deployment, but there could be one at anytime!
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ROFL!!!!!! I remember hearing lots of stories about rubber bands, surgical gloves, and lotion...
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I am sorry you feel this way. This has been a great comfort to me these last 3 months as I dealt with my Sailor leaving. It has answered alot of questions that I had. I dont always agree with what I see but I do believe that most on this site are trying to be helpful. Good luck to you and your SR
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Permalink Reply by diannep on
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Momma Bear: I too am sorry that this site was such a bad experience for you. Those of us N4Moms veterans on here to help only want the best experience for you and your SR. This site was created to be a support group while your recruits are at bootcamp. We do know that the RDCs sometimes like to get on this site and figure out who belongs to who...not all of them, and probably not the majority of them...but some of them. The SRs do not get in trouble for posts here, but can get "hassled" a bit--. We know this because a few of us have had our kids pulled to the computers when there and asked if this is your mom? Now...they thought it was funny...no big deal....but we started cautioning some when posts would become too personal. Some were posting the letters from their SRs....verbatim....on the site. Never a good idea.
On one group, a lady actually "dissed" her husband's RDC--words from her SR--- and posted the RDC's name! Another lady responded to this by saying she should "kick him in the ___" at PIR. Wow....to think that is bad enough...but to post it? Wow....thank goodness that the creator of that group was very vigilant and got those posts off before any problem was caused (very well would have been a problem for that SR who didn't like his RDC!).
Last names are forbidden on this site....NAVY rules. Of course, last names are allowed on FB (user names) and if a lady's is the same as her SR's, well....that is not a good thing but something that is hard for the Navy to monitor not being their site. I will tell you that they have closed down some Navy FB groups before though...for not obeying OPSEC. It is national security....and more personal....the security/life of your sailor. RTC has even asked us to no longer post BattleStations dates on this site because they want you all to start practicing OPSEC and to pretend that BattleStations is actual ship movement...which cannot be discussed until after the fact. So, we can private message these....and mention dates after the fact.
I have been helping on this site since 2009. It has been such a wonderful honor for me to be able to help in the PIR groups with those going through. I have loved it. It is very sad to see the negativity coming in since that is totally the opposite of the purpose of this group. We truly have the SRs' best interests at heart (and yours too) and when we post a warning...it is for their/your own good. I apologize if any of these warnings were worded in a harsh way. That is/was not our intention.
Anyway, hoping that you change your mind and stay on this site. I pray often for the SRs and their families having been through it myself. The Navy is one big "family" and the bond is something that is so beneficial.
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I am new to NAVY4MOMS...less than a week even. I asked a question on this site about places to go after PIR and had a couple of people kindly explain to me that it wasn't an appropriate question and would be better asked in a private setting. I totally agree with them and I will be more careful in the future with what I post.
Mommabear, please read the recent post by Diannep to you. I appreciate the time Diannep took to give you her thoughts and honestly I couldn't have said it better myself.
I have told my children time and time again...The tongue is a pencil without an eraser...be careful how you use it.
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Permalink Reply by Craig on
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Maine - Just for my our curiosity, why did they say "places to go after pir" wasn't appropriate? I don't get that. Heck, that's half the fun is finding out where everyone is going.
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Permalink Reply by lemonelephant on
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Places to go are able to be discussed openly on this site without concern. They are not permitted on the RTC fB site because they cannot endorse nonNavy sites or venues, so perhaps Mainevacationer has confused the 2 sites or perhaps someone who replied to her confused the rules of the 2 sites.
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