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Need Advice - boyfriend just left for BC :(
I need some advice. I'm 24, my boyfriend is too, and we've been together for 3 and a half years. I don't only mean together like, dating, I mean we have literally lived and spent every day together for the past 3 and a half years. Not out of obsession, we are just best friends and get along great. He joined the Navy to serve his country, but he chose sub service because his father and grandfather were on subs. I told myself this would be easy, I have tons of hobbies, almost too many, and I'm in school full time, working full time as well. I helped him study and look into everything, I really want him to do this, and I know it makes him feel great doing this.
Since he left last night I can't stop crying. I can't even focus to do homework, or any of my hobbies. Does this get any easier? I started a journal that I'm going to give him when he gets to A school, but is there any general advice I can have for now? How often can I write him letters while hes in Chicago?
I'm literally torn apart. I'm confident in our relationship, I know we'll come out of this strong, I am just so caught up in the fact that hes not here. heelllppp. Thank you.
Views: 160
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kathy (AOMom) on
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You can write him as much as you want. Write everything down that you did, how the weather is today, what funny thing happened, send him newspaper clippings of his favorite team sport and how they did this week. You can write and send as many cards as you want. Go shopping for cards you would like to send, (nothing musical). number the envelopes so you know which one to send first, etc. he will need your support as he is unable to know whats going on outside of BC. Start a countdown, cross off a day at time. It will seem like forever at first, but it gets better. He is safe, well fed, and going to be in the best shape of his life, and will learn how to iron in the middle of the night. Keep it all upbeat, be his cheering squad. When my sailor didnt think she was going to pass her final running test, I made up cheers for her, just stupid stuff but she said she could picture in her head me singing them to her, and it helped her get through BC.
this is practice for when they go out on missions or deployments and you cant talk to them for even longer periods sometimes.
Best of luck to you.
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Permalink Reply by Knittycat10 on
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Thank you very much :). I was sure upbeat before he left, but not now. I'll try to take your advice and send positive messages. He has just been looking forward to this so much. Sometimes I feel like he over prepared, he learned all of his start book, and we had been hitting the gym together for about 3 months prior to him going, so I'm not worried at all about the physical stuff. Just really hope he doesn't change too too much, though I do enjoy the whole ironing thing :D
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Permalink Reply by lemonelephant on
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Kathy has given you great advice.
You may want to check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvKAhmgkoj4 and http://www.navydep.com/forums/showthread.php?t=433. They will give you an idea of what is happening.
You may want to join, or at least check out, Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors, Boot Camp Girlfriends, Boot Camp Mom's, PIR Reference Information, and New Members Stop Here. Once you know his PIR date and/or division number, watch in Boot Camp Mom's and/or at http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/groups-listed-by-pir-date and join the group for that once it has been created.
(Group names within this reply are clickable links.)
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My sailors personality did not change at all, she is still the silly, fun, person she was when she went in 4 years ago. She now has 2 deployments behind her and I really dont think she will change, I was hoping she wouldnt. I think they are sailors when its time to be a sailor,and themselves on off time. When my sailor has come home on leave, its like she picked up where she left off the last time. Not to worry about the change, he will be very formal in uniform, and I have noticed they listen better,but that may be her maturing too. Be prepared, he may be negative or down when you first hear from him, but that is normal, by the end of BC, he will see what he has accomplished, and know what he will be doing, ready to do his part for the USA.
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Thank you guys so much! I have been so lost. None of my friends or anyone I know is in the service besides all of our friends parents, and things are obviously different now. Plus my boyfriend didn't really ask his recruiter many questions as far as what to expect so I would feel more comfortable because he (my bf) is 100% determined, if his father did it he can, and didn't want to know, he wanted it all to be a surprise.
Thank you so much Kathy and Lemon for all your input, I will definitely be joining some of those groups.
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