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**UPDATE 4/26/2022** Effective with the May 6, 2022 PIR 4 guests will be allowed.  Still must be fully vaccinated to attend.

**UPDATE as of 11/10/2022 PIR vaccination is no longer required.

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In light of observed changes and impact of the Coronavirus Delta Variant and out of an abundance of caution for our recruits, Sailors, staff, and guests, Recruit Training Command is restricting Pass-in-Review (recruit graduation) to ONLY fully immunized guests (14-days post final COVID vaccination dose).  

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Hi everyone ok so my husband leaves for bootcamp next Wed. for the Bulls Division (Mar. 27th) and we are 22 wks pregnant. After his bootcamp my husband will only have " A " school for 3wks due to him going in as a PACT SEAMAN, when he is out of school we fig. it would be mid June. I am due July 20th. Originally our plan was to have me stay home with family and have the baby and he would come back if allowed for the birth, but now there telling him that there's a very good chance that won't happen, and that it would be easier for us if I were to just move when he moves. Its my choice on what to do but its so hard with all our family whispering into my ear stay here have the baby when if I don't go it's hard for me to not have him present for the birth ( this is our 3rd child ). I think it's really important for him to be there and I just wish that no matter what I end up deciding they would all be supportive but I'm not getting that since no matter what someone will be disappointed.. 

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Even if you move to where he will be stationed after PACT training, it doesn't mean he gets to be there for the birth.  He will probably be assigned to a ship, and that ship might be deployed. Yes, they can fly him out to it while it is at sea.  This advice isn't about disappointment, it is practicality.  Once he has orders, you can decide. 

The ten days of paternity leave is not for the birth, it is for "bonding" and can be allowed anytime within one year of the birth. It can be taken in conjunction with regular leave, and can be broken up into three or four days over that first year.   His new command might not be able to authorize leave immediately after he checks in.  It is unusual.  The again, they might.  You can't decide until you know this, so again, wait until you both see his orders and he can get some solid information.  

He will get his orders to his first command while in bootcamp, so once you see him for PIR he will know where he is going after PACT SN school.  The odds of him getting leave again, right after he gets to his command is slim.  what he can do after PIR is email, or call his new command and talk to them about if they will allow him to take paternity leave. 

sorry to say, the Navy doesn't care what you and he want, they care about the mission, Being in the Navy he and you don't get to choice anymore what you would like to happen.

Something else to keep in mind, is if you will be moving with him to his first command..odds are you will be doing everything to get your house moved and also doing everything on the other side where you move to.  Where do you plan to live?  Out in town?  In base housing (which isn't on base)?  Either way the military isn't just going to give you a place to live.  Depending where his orders are to...there can be a wait list to get into base housing (anywhere from a month to a year).  He may not have a lot of time to look for a place out in town either if he is on a ship, and they are getting ready to deploy. 

These are all things you and him need to think about as you have a child on the way.

Thank you so much for the input! All very helpful!! :) we have not discuss much wether on or off base I don't think we're to picky whatever we can get and fine I guess? But this is what he has been told by his recruiters and now I'm wondering if there is much truth to any of it Maybe you guys could shed some insight on it? After his is done w schooling he is staying at the Great Lakes for it they have offered him 2 wks to work in the aurora recruiting office right after he's out if he chose to. There saying if he takes it & I go into labor he will get the 2wks paternity leave after that. (But the chances if me going into labor at that time is very slim). Now there also saying if he does not take those 2 wks at the recruiting office he will go to his 1st base check in, and will be allowed to find housing then set up a date to come back and move us. I'm not sure on what to believe if any just any insight would be great and also what should I expect during that time he's in boot camp like letters of when he can receive and send out. Thanks so much!

Close, but not quite how it all works.

If a sailor can take leave after A school, that's usually one week, then they can work up to five days extra in the recruiter's office.  RAP can't be more than five days.  So altogether, it might be around two weeks.  And his first command has to approve the ten days of paternity leave... and they can't do that until he's gone there and checked in!  The training command he just left or the recruiter's office can't approve that.

They are not allowed to set up housing then come and get you.  What MIGHT happen, at the discretion of his first command, is he can ask for ten days of "house hunting" leave.  Married sailors often get that, plus an allowance for you to come and stay in a hotel while you both look for a place.  Not that he gets to check in without you, set up a place, then return home for you.  The ten days is at the new command's discretion, another thing he won't know until he gets orders in hand and can ask his command.

The chances of getting ten days or one week of regular leave after his training, plus five days of RAP (recruiting assistance), plus ten days of house hunting? And then ten days of paternity leave?  That's a lot of time off right away.  Not impossible, but I surely wouldn't bet a dime on it all happening.  But he can and should ask.  He just has to ask other people at the correct time, recruiters don't always explain things well, or they dont' want him to worry, so they gloss it over a bit.

I swear the recruiters have zero idea what they are talking about, and I am starting to believe 90% of what they told my boyfriend about us getting engaged, married, etc after basic and 'a' school was all bs because they didn't want him to worry. From reading everything on here, he is going to be blown away when he realizes it all after basic.

 

Many of the recruiters went through boot and school as single sailors.  They haven't got a clue, and a quick look at regulations doesn't give the full picture of how things work in real life.

Or they present "best case" scenarios, so the recruit wont' freak out.  They don't bother with "worst case" for the spouse.  And girlfriends?  Hah.  You're imaginary, like a unicorn or something.

Lol, I would agree. He said they were telling him that he should request to be stationed in Italy, Spain, etc. and he was like no I have serious girlfriend so I wouldn't want to be stationed there. We are planning to get engaged as soon he gets out of boot camp or while he is in 'A' school.  When is the best time to get married so that you aren't just imaginary to the navy...My sailor is headed into IT.

Before boot camp is ideal.... hah.  IF you can get the recruiter to do the paperwork.  

During A school is optimum for getting orders.  Married sailors can and do go overseas, but not as often as single sailors on a first tour.  If the A school is very short, there's a chance they'll get their orders during boot camp.  The problem with marrying during A school is they must ask permission (usually granted) and go through a class or counseling, plus you have to pay for the trip to where their school is located.  

After A school, while on leave, is best for having the wedding you want.  But then his orders are already issued ... and he may be headed somewhere you cannot follow.  

Other couples like to test their relationship with a first deployment.  It does break some of them up.  Hell, it breaks up new marriages too at times.  But once he's in the fleet, usually he can just go get married without asking anyone at all.  His security clearance may be an issue, so if he has one, it is best to check that out.  There are circumstances where it can mess things up.  Stuff like the new spouse being a foreign national, a has a criminal record, or of the marriage looks fraudulent.  

That's the basics of it.

I know for sure that he will have a high security clearance that much he has told me.  I am neither a foreign national nor do I have a criminal record.  Any idea what's best marriage wise in order to make sure his security clearance isn't messed up? Thanks so much for the info too!

 

My husband is a CTT so he had a clearance too, when we got married while he was at Corry Station they were lax on the "marriage chit" all he was told to do since I was a citizen, just to fill out a form after we were married.
To make that easier go through a court ceremony through his A-school, that way plenty of time to update everything.

Okay we don't plan on having a big wedding just going to the court house, so that should hopefully make it easier on us. I just get kind of nervous with some of these scary stories on here. Thanks for your help!

I agree, courthouse during A school is simplest.  

Scary stories, well, military marriages are hard.  Any marriage can be hard.  I went through one bad one, but it got me to this one (26 years now).  So you do the best you can.  If it doesn't work, you move along, and hopefully the break-up is polite and civil.  Talk, talk, talk beforehand... and know when to back off the talking, because some people can only do so much.

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