She decided to join the Navy....

[Susanw004]

Hello everyone!

My daughter has recently informed me that she will be joining the Navy.  This is something I did NOT expect from her as she is what I call a "girly girl".  She has done her homework on the Navy, she knows it will be the hardest thing she will ever do.  But she is determined to make something of her life and this is the path she has chosen.  She is 17 and will be graduating from high school in May.

When she first told me (and she was scared to death to tell me), I was shocked and kind of angry that she would want to do this.  However I didn't let her see that.  I have been 100% supportive and encouraging.  When she is not around, that is a completely different story.  I am sad.  She is my only child and I can't imagine her being gone so far away and for so long.

Tonight, for the first time, I sat outside and bawled my eyes out.  You know...the ugly cry!!  She wasn't home.  I keep remembering her a small innocent child, playing in our pool and calling me "mommy".  This is the memory that continues to go through my head when I think about her leaving.  Are there stages of emotions, like there are with death?  I would love to hear other mom's stories about how they felt with and dealt with the news that their child was going into the military. 

I look forward to getting to know all of you other moms out there as time goes on.  Thank you for reading, thank you for supporting each other and God Bless!

Susan

[lemonelephant]

Welcome. Once you know her ship date, go to the discussion, Things to Do in the Last Month Before Your Future Sailor Leaves for the RTC, and at the bottom is a list of the DEP groups by month.  Join the one for the month that she will ship.  In the meantime, join Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones) and New Members Stop Here and check out the Pages (found under the pictures of the Members) and Discussions there. You may also want to check out Women in the Navy, Mom’s of Navy Daughters, and Mom's of Daughters 2.

(Group names within this reply are clickable links.  To join a group, click on the group name and after the group page opens, click on “+ Join...” in the upper right.)

[Susanw004]

Thank you so much lemonelephant!!  =)

[lemonelephant]

You are very welcome.

[Susanw004]

It seems I worded my post incorrectly.  I AM 100% supportive of my daughter's decision.   What I don't let her see is the side of me that is sad about the decision, that I have cried.  I know that in the long run, this is the best thing in the world she can do for herself.  She knows I will miss her terribly.  She knows I will worry about her. She will go in a child, and come out an adult.

I was told of this website from another navy mom.  I would be very surprised if she found my posts, and if she did, well we would discuss it.  We have a fantastic relationship and are extremely close. 

And thank you Lady Hamilton, I appreciate your concern.  I do.  I came here to this site because I felt and was told that it was a good place to talk about the feelings and emotions of having a child join the military. 

[navy06 (03 div 298)]

I know exactly what you are going through. My daughter will be leaving in 2 short months, and I am dreading the overwhelming sadness that I will feel watching her leave, and knowing that she will not be a phone call away for a very long time. I am 100% supportive of what my daughter is doing also, and as any good parent does, I put on a brave face, hide my sadness because she needs to see my support now. I save the tears for when she is not around. Your post is no different than a thousand other mothers on here who are now faced with the day we knew someday would come. Our babies grew up.
We are proud moms, and we will get through this. This site has been a great source of strength for me. It helps to hear other moms cry and to know that they have gone through and survived the same thing that I am about to go through. Its our intense love for our kids and we cant escape the pain of going through the process of letting them go, but we will get through it because we know it is such a wonderful opportunity for them, and the beginning of their grown up lives. I love it because it is what she chose. Stay strong.

[Ship 13 div249]

Lady Hamiliton, thank you since I saw my messages not private, and was wondering if all saw them, and there are certain things, that Moms would not want their kids to see.  For their benefit.  We certainly do have mixed feelings though.  I did tell my son that as a Mom, I did not like his decision,  but as a person, I thought it might be the best thing for him.  Its okay to feel this.  We are losing our sons and daughters.  But better to lose them to the Navy, then some of neighborhoods that reek of gangs and violence, and crime.  At least there will be light at the end of the tunnel when we visit with them.  But 4 yrs is a long time.  A lot can happen in four years.  Prayers, hugs, and most of all strength for all our tears, and fears.  We will always do this, because these kids will be our babies forever.  Even when they are grown and sailors!~

[MomOf5]

OMG sam that is my daughter 95 pounds and 4'10"

she leaves for boot camp July 22nd and I am new to this site:)

I think one of the hardest things for me is the fact that I can not talk to her every 5 seconds. We are very close and I am extremely proud of her but this lettting go, not being in control thing is not going to be good for me...thank you for sharing your light at the end of the tunnel story...

[Kassidys mom Ship 14 Div 323]

my daughter is 5'2" and 103, she just seemed so little to take on this adventure, however got my first call and she is doing really well. I too am a control freak mom, just ask her HAHA. I guess my voive of reason came with the reality that if she had went to college I would have no idea how she is doing or what she is doing on a Friday night. I know with her being there she is safe and I KNOW she will have a job when she is done and less debt to recover from. Hugs to you as you send your young lady off on her own adventure.

 

[jitterbug61]

I read your post and wanted to tell you a story.  34 years ago, I was 17 years old and told my parents I was going to join the Navy.  My mother was beside herself.  You see, I was a girlie girl too. And she was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to withstand a life in the military.  But, neither of them stood in my way (not that you are either).  I had only had 1 or 2 jobs during high school - both that I quit after only a week.  I knew that I couldn't quit the Navy and just went for it.  It was the BEST thing I ever did.  I only spent 4 years in, but those 4 years gave me such confidence in myself.  I met my husband while stationed in Virginia (he was in the Coast Guard - and I didn't hold that against him) and we have been married for 26 years today.  We have 2 wonderful children.  My 22 year old daughter went through Great Lakes boot camp last year at this time and is now stationed in Norfolk working on helicopters.  My 20 year son is currently in Great Lakes boot camp (he left last week).  I am so very proud of both of them.  I know how you are feeling and I know how she is feeling.  You are scared and so is she.  Spend your time together now before she leaves.  When she comes home, she will be the same girl who left.  However, you will see a confidence in her that you didn't see before.  It will also appear that she has grown 2 inches - at least that is how it seemed to me.  Good luck to your girl or should I say your future sailor.  And good luck to you. 

[Susanw004]

Thank you Thank you Thank you everyone for your kind words and support.  My heart knows what each and every one of yours feel or felt.  I can already tell I will make wonderful friends here and that this group will help me anytime I need words of encouragement.   I look forward to when the time comes that I can be a "veteran Navy mom" and provide the same that you have all provided for me.  Love, encouragement, support and friendship.  God bless each and every one of you and your children!!  My heart is swelling with emotion right about now =)

[Bethin NY (Ship 11 025)]

Welcome Susan :)  I am at your place and have a heavy heart.  My son joined 10 days ago; not scheduled to leave till Oct.  He is my youngest and VERY much my baby.  I am feeling a mixture of relief that he has finally chosen a direction (at 21) and grief that he will be leaving, never to live with us again.  When I cry, it's in the car or in the shower.  I am trying with all my heart for him to only see the support and pride that I know he needs from me right now.  Amazingly, I find myself very angry @ my husband as he seems to be only feeling PRIDE and positive thoughts.  I am so glad I've found Navy for Moms - it reminds me that I am not a crazy, overprotective mommy, but a woman with strong feelings, worries, joy and sadness all @ once - JUST LIKE MANY OTHERS.  Keep writing - we'll all help each other get thru it, I'm sure.  ((((HUGS))))

[Ship 13 div249]

Funny I cry in the car too.  My son also is 21.  I think you are right.  Moms are passionate, about our feelings, and men think its a rite passage to manhood, and of course are proud only. Moms on the other hand, relive every treasured moment.  We feel it as a loss...because although they are making a good life for themselves...there are no longer 365 days a year with them.  hugs to u, and writing to these new friends on here, helps to make me feel a little closer to my son.  Knowing that all our sons, are together, in it..helps. I cried in the Stars and Stripes Store in our local area, when seeing all the military things, because it was so much honor, pride, and a sad feeling that overwhelmed me.  And lol, overspent.  Hanging the United States flag on the house, helped.  Each time I walk by it, it reminds me of why my son is in the Navy.  The blue star flag for Moms, and families is good too.  I will hang the Blue Star when he graduates bc.  Also want to get him a gift for graduation to take with him to Aschool.  So maybe focus on that..like I am trying to do.  Becky