recruiter advising not to disclose adhd diagnosis

[jen]

I know their are discussions regarding undisclosed medical diagnosis when joining the Navy. Does anyone have suggestion on how I can handle this?

I understand that this is a felony and in the long run could potentially ruin your life.  My 17 year old son has wanted to join the Navy for many years. His goal is to become a Seal. This is his single focus in life. He does know this is a felony but is certain he wont be caught.

Just as a "quick" back ground on my sons issues - He was diagnosed with ADHD in second grade and has been on meds since. I'm not sure but he may also   have a  secondary diagnosis of oppositional defiant disorder.  He is able to hold things together on meds enough to get by.  He tried going off his meds last summer for about 8 months. This didn't go very well he had some social issues and declining grades, none of this issues ended up in the legal system or in a suspension from school but they were boarder line. He was fired from his job at Dairy Queen. He requested to go back on his meds in Dec. and did better, (not great)  but now is off them again because he plans on joining the Navy in Nov. when he turns 18.

 He knows with an ADHD diagnosis he can not join. He has discussed this with the recruiter he has been in contact with since he was 15. My husband, my son, and I met with the recruiter last summer at which time the recruiter told him ( in our presence)  If he doesn't disclose the ADHD they won't know because they ( the navy) can't see his medical history. The recruiter also went on to say that ADHD is over diagnosed and everybody has that diagnosis so they can drug kids to get them to sit still in school.

I was livid. We spent 2 years trying to decide to medicate our son, and a lot of time researching the subject before deciding to medicate him. It was not a decision we took lightly. I can't believe the recruiter had the nerve to say these things in our presence.

Now to the issue at hand. I refuse to sign papers for early entry to the Navy because of his issues. I know my son plans on omitting this info on this admission paper work. I also know he is being coached as to what to say when challenged on this issue.  This issue has caused such a rift between us we are barely speaking, so don't bother suggesting a heart to heart talk with him we are years beyond that. He even had a psychologist tell him "if I had to do an eval on you for the Navy I would never recommend putting a gun in your hands."   I think this is very important information that the Navy needs to know about, but who do I talk to or where do I go?  What are my options? Obviously  I can't talk to the recruiter, or my son. They all think I'm just being an overprotective mother. I feel like I have until Nov. ( because he turns 18 in Nov.) before I really have no options. I also realize my son will never speak to me again if I take this away from him. What does a person do when they know some one is falsifying info on their admission paperwork?  I am for ever grateful for all our military veterans and  their families have done for us. I would be very proud to be the mother of a Sailor under different circumstances. Thank you for any advise you can offer.

[Dreamer1118 SHIP 13 DIV 314!!!]

I had a friend who went off her meds for adhd because a recruiter told her to...came into a recruiters office and said " i want to blow s**t up." They thought she was crazy but they still tried to push her through. She couldnt lose the last 6 pounds luckily though.

[Proud Girlfriend]

My boyfriend had ADHD and is in the Navy. He was told by his recruiter that his wasn't that bad and didn't really need to worry about it. He was on my mess last year and is better

[jen]

 I don't know if anyone remembers me from last summer. My son was being told not to disclose his adhd diagnosis when signing up.   ok so here is the update. My son signed the papers on his 18th birthday to join the navy, EOD no less. He did not disclose any history with adhd as advised by the recruiter. He left for G L  boot camp aug. 7.2013.  He called last night and told me because of a bunch of stuff that happened in boot camp he would be leaving the navy and coming home in 4 weeks. He asked me for his complete medical history regarding his adhd. I didn't have all the info on hand instantly, he said he would be calling me tomorrow ( which is now today) for names addresses and # for his Drs.  While I am so very happy to have him home, and I will never ever ever will tell him knew it, but, i knew it. this is exactly what i figured would happen.  I am not gloating about this I am concerned about what happens next. what happens to him on ship 5? I am SO  pissed at the recruiter.

[lemonelephant]

Join the group, Ship 5 Moms(Formerly Ship 17) and see http://www.bootcamp.navy.mil/ship5/index.asp and FAQ about SEPS for more information.

[Anon1234]

My daughter was to by her recruiter not to disclose as well. The Navy is now separating her and she feels her career path has been destroyed by him. If a recruiter tells you to not disclose something that is your red flag that it needs to be disclosed. You have to get a waiver and the recruiter doesn't want to do the paperwork

[Deb (Ship12/Div371)]

My son had been off his meds for ADD for over two years when he first started talking to the recruiter.. His recruiter said it wouldn't be necessary to disclose the prior ADD diagnosis. When my husband and I heard this we asked about the medical questions and if they'd asked about ADD. He said they do ask if you've ever taken behavior modifying medication. We pointed out the meds he took certainly qualify. We told him we'd like to go in and talk to the recruiter with him before he signed his contract. My son was 20 at the time. In front of us the recruiter was very matter-of-fact about it stating it wasn't really necessary to disclose it and that if he did it would cause a delay with additional paperwork and evaluations. We discussed with our son that disclosing it was the right thing to do and the evaluation was for his own good. If he passed the evaluation then the Navy was accepting that he no longer had the ADD tendencies and that he was a good candidate. It did indeed delay the process but he was eventually accepted on a waiver and is now in boot camp. I'm so glad he made the right decision. It is possible to still join but it just takes more time. Trust the process to determine if your son is suited for service.

[BunkerQB]

This is the best advice for parents with sons/daughters with ADD. You have not idea how much heartache you have saved your son. Well done.

[jen]

Deb,

I wish my sons  recruiter had as much integrity has your son as demonstrated. The recruiter stood in front of my husband, son, and me and said,  "Their was never any ADHD when I was a kid, it's just an excuse to drug kids to make them behave."   I asked the recruiter if he was advising my son to lie on his papers. He said "if he doesn't disclose it, they will never know"  Obviously a man in uniform is much more impressive than your parents when your 17.  My son wanted me to sign papers so he could sign up before 18.  I told him the only way I would sign the papers was if he disclosed his ADHD.  He waited until the day he turned 18 and signed up just so he wouldn't have to disclose.  I am very angry with this recruiter and would love to walk in the office and say I told you so, or more! I do hold my son accountable also, but this recruiter way over stepped his bounds here.

 My son initiated the drop on request. It has been a week since my son called to notify me he was dropping. I have not heard any thing more. I am concerned about what is happening to him. I just want him home so we can move on.  As long as he is dropping  and not fighting it why does it take so long?

[Concernedad]

Jen, it will probably do no good, but for your sanity, and perhaps to prevent this from happening to someone else, you should go to the recruiters office and speak to a superior. 

[BunkerQB]

I wish the best for your son in the future. Thank you stopping by.  I do believe that there was a trend to diagnose "over-active" boys as having ADD by many doctors at one point in the late 80s and 90s.  We saw that with friends of our younger son who were always medicated.  Our son was border line. We chose to keep him active and involved with sports.  He outgrew it. He will never be as "calm" as his older brother (the sailor) - he is the way he is. But my husband and I don't regret not going with the "treatment" of the day.  I do believe the Navy is wrong not to realize that many young men and women who were diagnosed or misdiagnosed with ADD could be very fine sailors today. They should not be separated because the recruiter urged them to not disclose. 

[Concernedad]

Bunker, it's all about the lawsuits. 

Just imagine a sailor diagnosed with ADD or ADHD goes on a killing spree.....

In an age of someone must be sued, the military is covering their collective butts. 

[BunkerQB]

Hmmmm. OK. Army psychiatrist Nidal Hasan killed 13 people at Fort Hood. Should the military cover their butts by not admitting anyone with a medical degree, or just a degree in psychiatry?  Or? Or? Can't be specific and be politically correct. We can come to some interesting conclusions extrapolating on that line.