Unprepared

[mum Z]

16hrs since I received that scripted phone call from my son. Unaware of the "scripted" part and or length of phone call (48 sec). I could hear stress in his voice. Also unaware of being able to have accompanied him to his recruiter meetings for preparation on what to expect after final swear in. Maybe he thought I wouldn't have been as supportive had I attended. Definitely unprepared for this journey. Never been away from my three children. My heart feels heavy. Experiencing detachment with my children becoming adults and leaving NEST that's been built with a strong foundation with walls insulated with ADT security. Now not even being able to communicate with my middle child and only son. I feel as if I'm grieving or had a loss. Emotions from PROUD, SAD, UNCERTAIN, EXCITED for his journey, and LONGING to hear him say "I'm going fishing". Never thought it would be so hard to fold his clothes, walk past his door, pick up his shoes, or not hear his car crank. Wondering if there are other navy moms who have experienced these feelings? Today only cried once and here I am writing without tissues thanks to the support from another navy mom (whose ex navy chief).  

[CubanGurl]

Oh my gosh,I feel so bad for you and your husband.its tough,my son left in dec.i missed his first phone call,I wanted to scream! I can't believe they didn't let them call on Christmas,I was sad. Any time you want to reply back,be strong and proud

[1BlessedNavyMom]

Oh I fear this as well MommaMandi!! My son leaves for boot camp on October 8th and his father and I have had a discussion with him about communicating with us and not just his girlfriend. I expect him to want to talk with her but as a mother my fear is that he will only call her. My oldest son is married so I hope that I am prepared that he will probably only call her. Sigh, it's so hard letting them grow up!! 

[ProudNavyMomInFL]

Totally with you mum Z.  This is my oldest son and although I still have 2 at home, my house feels empty.  He has always been our "toughest" child and didn't think this would be so hard, actually thought I would be just relieved, yet proud, but I am scared, Im worried, Im excited and Im proud....all at once.  Def one of the hardest things I have gone through.  It's not like college where you can still communicate.  It's a lot harder not only not seeing him but not hearing him either.  I'm hoping this gets easier but I know N4M is a great tool, a great source of encouragement and support!  Hopefully we can all stick together and get through this together!  BTW, my son left 8/23, so I am thinking we may have same PIR (graduation date).  Well see...  His rate is AV (Aviation Technician).

[mum Z]

Son's rate is AM/SG (Aviation Mechanic). Agree with you, hardest part is, NO CONTACT. Just reminding myself he is doing GREAT things. BESIDES, I'm proud to say " GO NAVY " :)))

[CopiousAmour]

That scripted I'm here, goodbye is so hard to hear. My fiancé's voice was so stressed during this call and I haven't heard a thing since.

[leana*ship14div426]

starting this journey also with a heavy heart. So very excited for all of the new things opening up for him but sad for myself and the feeling of loosing my baby... Where did the time go? really do with he was little again and i could just sit and hold him.

[Wtmky76]

I completely agree. My son turned 18 the week after they left! He was my first baby and will always be my sweet boy. I am so proud but my heart aches to hear his voice and listen to him puttering through the house. I am counting the days until graduation. Im going to hug him and never want to let go.

[PuddlePirate]

I think it gets better...at least that's what I keep telling myself. I also try to remember how excited I was to leave home, moving 1000 miles away to Navy Prep School. It was a challenging time but so exhilerating too. Some of my best memories are from that period of my life. That's how I imagined my son was feeling at bootcamp, and then we got his first real phone call home. He was doing well, albeit kind of homesick and wishing he could just be a kid and hang out on the couch. Don't we all feel a little bit like that sometimes? I'm struggling with detachment too, but fortunately, my younger son is gives me a few extra hugs every day. He knows I'm struggling. Still, I'm so excited for graduation next month and can't wait to see him at sub school.

[NavyMomTimesTwo]

What you're feeling is normal.  I promise.  When my oldest joined 6 years ago I kid you not, I was curled up in the fetal position for 3 weeks before he left.  My heart just hurt.  And when he left there was no consoling me.  None.  Of course he left the week of Thanksgiving.  I had to spend all the holidays without him, without even a call.  It hurts.  It hurts bad.  I have a son there now (my middle son), and I cry over him too.  You spend 24/7 with them for 18 years and then BAM!  It's like they are just taken from you.  I promise it gets better though. Just come here to cry, to vent, etc.  My online support was the only thing that got me through this.  To know there are others going through the same thing was just huge.  Hang in there!

[rhonda/ship 13 div 102]

Im crying reading your post...My son leaves the 7th of Jan, how will I cope? Im glad I found this site...I thought I was the only one grieving like this..This is just horrible..When Cole (my son) went to meet the recruiter to go to meps, I said, "Please just turn the car around and come home, don't do this just to make me proud.." He said its ok mom..

[djk's Mom]

My Son is leaving 11/25 a couple of days before Thanksgiving ... Everything you are writing is exactly how I am feeling. A piece of my heart being torn out with no medication.

[Kirsten]

I completely understand how you feel I am going through the same thing. I have been crying ever since my son left on the 12th. Haven't heard from him nor do I have an address yet. Don't know how long it will be before I do. Just want to know he is doing ok and that he is not sad. It is the not knowing that is the toughest