HELP WITH BOYFRIEND RETIRING AND LEAVING HIS CHILDREN IN JAPAN TO COME BACK TO THE STATES!!

[crzygirl66]

HI EVERYONE ,  should be happy i get to see my boyfriend in 2 weeks since he is retiring i'm also upset and need some advice he was married over 9 years ago and now divorced while he was in japan, once he leaves there he will be leaving behind his 2 children who he has gotten to see since he has been there for the last 3 years, seems like he is torn now about leaving and coming back to the states i support whatever choice he makes, does anyone know if you retire can you go back to japan and live!! his kids are his life and i feel that I'm making it even hardier on him

[crzygirl66]

yes he leaves japan next week and will be here in the use, I'm so scarred but at the same time not going to keep him from his children, he has spent half of his 20 years in japan and doesn't want to live there any more and wants to be here , so hard since his children are part japanese.  i told my boyfriend if his ex wife doesn't allow his kids to come here we can go there to visit I'm trying my best to be supportive just need some good advice please

[crzygirl66]

it's a verry  crappy situation to make along story short we dated in high school 20 years ago went our separate ways and he found me 4 years ago and ever since then we have been waiting for him to retire and now a week away and so many emotions kicking in, i don't want to lose him again i would move with him but my children are american, they love him and will not take the place of his kids but i was hoping they would help him adjust a bit

[Anti M]

I was stationed in Yokosuka for a total of 12 years, I had many retired friends there.  While he can apply for a GS job on base, and potentially receive housing/OHA and benefits which go with it, it would be costly to retire there.  Most of the men, and it was usually men, who did so had Japanese wives and their family made it easier to stay there.  The dollar has dropped dramatically against the yen, I can't imagine trying it as a civilian.  It is horrendously expensive.  That's why the Navy won't send the dependents of junior enlisted sailors there, they can't afford it, even living on base.  Still, GS jobs pay well, and he'd have his retired pay to supplement his GS pay if he can land one of those jobs.  They are officer equivalent, and if he qualifies, can be a second career with a full second retirement pension.  Not a bad place to be financially 20 years down the road.

If he does move to Japan, how do you feel about going too?  If he gets  GS job, your kids would be eligible to move and go to school on base.  How would they feel?  Your family?  Your kids' dad?

His children will retain their military ID cards, and as far as I know, retain their US citizenship.  This makes it easier to come visit him.  As retired military, he can use base facilities when he visits Japan. Navy Lodge!  He can even fly Space A, although that's tricky to schedule, flights do have very small fees and are crowded, but it is essentially free flights.  If you two marry, you would also have access to the same benefits, so you could travel with him if you needed to do so.

I wish all the best for you, this is a hard situation to be in.  My husband has an estranged adult son because his ex was a beast about visitation.  I hope it goes better for you two!

[crzygirl66]

my boyfriend doesn't want to live in japan any more half his career was in japan, though that could change since his children are there, i would have to discuss with my children about moving there if it came down to it. i know he has so many emotions join g

[Anti M]

Well, at least he can visit more easily as a retiree than as a civilian.  Good luck and a bunch of hugs.  

[crzygirl66]

would you know how long the out process will be when he gets to washington state next week

[Anti M]

Not really, when my husband retired, I wasn't sure when the paperwork began.  He took terminal leave and we just left San Diego after his ceremony.  With the shutdown, things may be processed slower.  I'm thinking he already has his package in, so it is just a matter of out-processing.  A couple weeks?  

[crzygirl66]

my boyfriend had his ceremony last night in japan he says he leaves there oct 17 his terminal leave begins nov 4 

[Anti M]

Then he can do pretty much whatever he likes on Nov. 4.  He's effectively out then, although the actual date on his final DD-214 may be different.  

I'm sure he will know to file with the VA as soon as he can.  That is aggravatingly slow, but worth doing.  Even f he thinks he doesn't need anything from them now, he should get his records evaluated and in the system.  That way if he does need the VA for medical, education, or any benefits, he's already done the groundwork.  

[crzygirl66]

do you think he will have to stay in washington state till nov 4? trying to get a clue of how long the processing out is there, since he will be there this coming thursday

[Anti M]

If he isn't on leave, I do believe he will have to stay there to finish the paperwork process.  I won't commit to that 100%, but feel that's correct. 

Has he gone through his TAPS classes yet?  That's when they get all the info on retiring, and resources, job training, benefits, the VA.  Maybe they'll have him do that in WA.?  

[crzygirl66]

anti he has done all this paper work and spoke to everyone during his out process in japan, maybe there is more paper work to do, I'm new at all of this , only had gamily retire from air force and army, i can't see him being there for 18 days but who knows, my anxiety level is getting smaller since he will be here soon.im just hoping he can get here before nov 4 lol if not i suppose ill have to wait a few more days