Never knew it would be this hard

[Lisa4495]

My son left for boot camp yesterday 11-12-13. I have not quit crying. He is my only child. I can't help but feel so helpless and empty. I just wish I could hear him tell me he is ok. Just another scripted call. Anything!!! I am going back to work tomorrow but am still worried about how to adjust. I just want to know he is okay. How do I get passed this??? My heart is completely broken.

[lovesfall]

Awww so sorry Lisa. You are not alone. All of us have struggled, shed tears, grieved. I walked around smelling my sons dirty shirt for a week, sat in his car and cried, wore his sweatshirts, his flipflops..... you get the idea. You will adjust. And it does get better. The days are long but the weeks do pass quickly. And no news is good news. Start writing him letters right now even though you don't have an address. It will help. Join the Facebook page of his PIR when you get that date. And read other posts by other mothers, you'll find comfort in those that have went before you. They totally understand. Your son is OK. He is becoming the man you have raised him to be.

[alice]

Hi my name is Alice and my son left for BC on Tuesday also. I know exactly how you feel. If you ever just need to talk I'm here. :) Im not very good at the computer yet so I hope you get this message.

[Kalynsmom]

Hi! My daughter left for boot camp 11-12 too. And it was my birthday. I was like you and had no idea it would be as hard as it was! I'm proud of her but who would have known what a tough time it would be!

[jamie]

My only child left for bootcamp on 11-4-13.  I finally got a call Saturday and he was doing great and was enjoying it.  I have cried everyday until that call.  please keep yourself busy and hang on to your phone.  You have my prayers and once you get that first non-scripted call you will feel better.

[Aj'smother]

I feel the same way I just took my son to bootcamp my only son and now I just think what am I to do 11-25-2013

[Brandonsmom]

I know how you all feel, I was there and you will get thru it. They are most likely doing better than you are. I was the same way. It will all be worth it in the end on graduation day. Trust me I'm here if you need to talk.

[SplashMom]

If you haven't already, you should join Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones). This group is on this site. It is full of mom's just like you, and you will learn so much! Good luck ladies, and hang in there...it does get better, I promise!

[LovingtheNavyMom7]

You are so normal.  I actually was in the military and I never expected to cry everyday for my own child. I was a wreck because this is my first born.  What got me through was talking to my nephew who had just got out and he told me every detail of what he was going through. Then it hit me. I am so close to my son and I really always knew where he was so I knew he was ok. I believe its separation anxiety (lol) This was different, I can't call him, I don't know what's going on...ughhhh it was horrible. I just wanted to know that he was ok. (in his own words lol) When he called me (after that first call)  I was so relieved and you will be too. He told me he was doing great and we got through it.  He just graduated last Friday and let me tell you, you are going to be soooooo proud when you see him!  Pass and review changed me and now that he is in A school I am doing better about the phone calls and now they can have their cell phones. You are in my prayers, God bless. :) P.S.  I have pics on my page if it makes you feel better. :)

[Lisa4495]

Thank you all for your encouraging words. I am doing better each day. I recd his box and then the form letter. He is division 909 and that makes me so very proud. Then today I recd the adopt a sailor information for Christmas. My son sent it to me. He even got to write a note on it. Gonna be a crazy trip up there and back but we get to see him on Christmas Day!!!! I cannot wait!!! Thanks so much for having the right words at the right time. I am by no means a veteran at this but last week was able to provide my own encouraging words to newer moms than me. This site is truly amazing and a God send. NMH

[lifeisanadventure]

Lisa, I know how you feel. My son left 11/5/14 and he's my only child as well. I was going through a divorce while pregnant so it’s been him and I since he was born.  It really is not a home with him gone. Thank goodness for my two kitty cats! The kitty cats and I sleep in his bed at times. I will walk in and out of his room just to be around his things. I look at his clothes, wear his sweat pants, his wrestling hoodie just to have him near me. I have his photo as my screen saver at work.   My situation is a bit different because my son is going reserve first. He will come home after A school, go to college and will either decide to go active after 2 years or he might get his 4 years in and try to go active and put in for an Officer. That is a huge factor in helping me deal with this constant clean, empty, no laundry, no cooking, no messy room, being a taxi, no dirty socks in the cushions, and oh so quiet home. But...for right now, I miss my son and that will never pass. My dealing with it was what I had to work on. What helped was getting a second job to stay busy. I have some extra time on my hands for not having to do all the above mentioned. Also, the fact that my son is doing something he always wanted to do is a dream come true for him. With our kids making a decision to join the Navy in the first place just goes to show you how smart all of our kids are. That helped me. I understood what I was feeling was normal; I just had to ask myself what was it that made me feel so ...I don't want to say worthless, but I knew the second he was born being a mom was who I am supposed to be. Without him here, who am I?  Now that he's gone, growing up, I feel I am being stripped of the only thing I am. That's when I realized I had to do something to pick my mental self-up. Getting that second job and going back to making jewelry helped. I also started to look at different recipes for when he comes home. That's been fun.

 Hearing his voice when I got the first call made all the difference in the world. He sounded so positive there was no way I could stay sad. My friends and co-workers also helped me out with realizing we are always a mom. I see them with all their older kids and they still need her. Lisa, hearing everyone mention to me how proud they are of my son and how proud they are of me because of the great job I did, I finally took it to heart. We all must hear it constantly. When I finally took it all in I thought, my son is in the NAVY, our kids want to represent and support our country.  They are taking the high road in life and could easily have fallen to peer pressure which is a task in itself. They are already strong, independent, driven minded young adults who I can’t wait to see at graduation!!  Lisa, you will be fine. Your son is getting better every day.  We will all be fine because of our wonderful kids.  My son has been gone 3 weeks today and I will miss him till the day those socks are back in the cushions. Hope to see you at graduation.

 

[Tonya]

You will be okay, I promise.  I felt exactly the same way and I felt that no one felt my pain and what I was going through.  We as mothers know our children and for me, my son played video games all the time and wanted to sleep until noon, so I was worried about everything, from him not adjusting to getting up so early, and him being terrified of shots, and him not knowing how to swim and how he would be able to make a 10ft jump into water and him being afraid of heights.  It all played through my head daily and when he called and said he was okay and it was not so bad and that he was going to make it.  My eyes filled with tears of joy.  He is my little boy, but he is becoming a man and it makes me proud.  So my advice to you is to keep yourself busy and in a couple of days from now hopefully you will get a letter and a call shortly after that.  I know all you need is to hear that he is okay.

[jamieRN Div. 073 PIR 1/24]

I understand..... I will be dropping my youngest son off with his recruiter in exactly a week from today. :'(  I am so proud but at the same time heartbroken.  It is so hard.  I dont think anyone understands unless they are going thru it themselves.  I appreciate your sons service and i appreciate your sacrifice.  It is awfully tough but so are you, Mama, you raised a Sailor.  Big (((NMH)))