I'M A BASKET CASE

[bisbee73]

I hope someone can respond and give me a few words of encouragement on how they got through the days immediately after their son/daughter left. I feel like I'm not going to be able to function.  Any advice is appreciated.

[Storymom]

Blue Candle is just over to the right side of  this page, under the calendar (might not always show up over there in the margin on these discussion pages?) Click on it and see more info and a multitude of individual stories, experiences and insight. Blue is for Navy Dress Uniform and Moms of Marines light Red ones, Army Moms use green ones , etc.  It's just a personal 'event' that you can utilize to help process the changes and feelings you're going thru - and just knowing other families across the country have a blue candle glowing in their home also, can be a profound connection and comfort.  Blessings to our dear Sailors....Navy On!  Here's the link to the Blue Candle group within Navyformoms...please join us!  http://navyformoms.com/events/a-blue-candle-event-1

[chonny7]

I almost feel like a horrible mom because I am still so busy with my own navy life and my other children that I am not a wreck?  I do miss him, his smile, his hugs and just general presence in our home, so being busy must be the answer.  The way I have dealt with his dad spending more than half of our 23 years of marriage at sea is being busy, taking the time that I now have and focusing on a project or something for myself, make it a positive experience rather than a negative one any way that you can and you will do well.  I wish you the best!

[Storymom]

You sound like a GREAT mom and super Navywife too!  :--)

[dlo1120]

My son just shipped 11/14. It's helpful to see others going through the same emotions many of our friends children are younger and don't really know what to say, except " he will be". But I still trying to figure out how I can be so proud and heartbroken at the same time. I did write a letter that will never be sent and cryed all the way through, I have re read it already a few times when I feel myself losing it. So happy to have joined this site it helps to get a peak into what our recruits may be going through.

[grandmalyons]

My son left on Oct 21.  At first it was difficult, he is my youngest and my only boy.  But the time is passing quickly..We live in a world of instant communication and we've gotten so used to it. It is the lack of communication allowed that makes it all so difficult.   I've had a letter and three phone calls.  One call came on a week night rather than a weekend.  He's full of news which makes me feel as if I am part of all that is going on with him.  They are young men and women now who are living the values and character we have raised them with.  Hold your head high with pride and count the days to PIR!  Oh yeah, start saving so you can visit them in their home ports, like San Diego, Hawaii, etc.:)

[Storymom]

good advice!  'counting Fridays'--I like that!  (I think I counted Thursdays, because that's the day his 3 letters always arrived).....and keep your cellphone CHARGED, or take your cell charger with you everywhere!  If you have a house phone,have that number forwarded to your CELL, just during the Boot, I mean. Sometimes, our kids can only remember the phone # at home, NOT our cell #'s.   (we still have a landline at the house- the kids grew up with that phone # in their heads)....chuckle

[Kim of Virginia]

Hello everyone, so sorry I am just getting on the site, have been so busy writing letters to Airman in BMT with no one to write them. My son graduated Boot camp about 3 years ago and his is my baby and only son. I was crushed, it felt like I lost my best and last friend, but before I got home from MEPS, while driving, I started envisioning his purpose in life and thought about why I raised him like I did and then I found peace. I wrote him every day inspirational and uplifting letters. Some days, I sent cards, but I never ever missed a day. On Sunday, I would drive my letter to the post office and I number each letter so he would know which to read first because they don't get their mail every day. When he started writing to me about how hard it was, although my heart was breaking, I told him how proud I was of him for doing the best he could do. The waiting and praying and hoping for phone calls and bugging my mail man are as vivid in my memory as if it were just yesterday, I remember the weekly trips to the post office if I missed the mail man and every Sunday. I went in his room and just sat down and looked around, I didn't realize that I was actually missing my baby and when I went to boot camp, I found my young man. Graduation is the proudest day of our lives just remember to bring plenty of tissue because it is humbling to see the transformation of your loved one. I wrote letters, joined this site, joined the Navy facebook page and stayed on the computer any of my free time looking for anything and everything that would help me understand what my son was going through and now he says I know just as much about the Navy as a Sailor. Two years later, my daughter joined the Air Force, then one year after that my granddaughter joined the Navy and I can tell you, that although you may think you are going to make it through the first couple of weeks, you will and you relish the memories.

[Ronnie'sMom ship 09/div 035]

Hi bisbee73!

My son left October 10th and we're closing in on the last 2 weeks now.  The first 2 weeks were definitely the toughest for me, but I did get a phone call at approximately the 2 week mark that was a good half hour long!  That was the best thing, to be able to talk to him.  We've gotten weekly letters since, so we've kind of fallen into a routine.  There's something I'm doing now, that I wish I had started earlier....I've created a "floating" poster board.  On it I simply painted "We Support Our Navy Recruits!"  To the left of it I put his ship number and to the right of it I put his division number and brother division number.  We are passing around our "floating poster board" to various groups of people that mean a lot to him and having their picture taken with the poster board (his high school football team, cheerleaders, and coaches form last year, various family members, neighbors, friends, and the guys from the last place he worked.) For his last week and half there he'll get 2 pictures a day of all of us from back home showing our support for him.  Thought is would be a good way to get him through the last week and a half and it has given me a fun activity that related to him to occupy my time!

[sailormom_913 (Ship 14 Div 061)]

My son left for boot camp Tuesday of this week. I didn't think it would bother me as bad as it has, but it has!!!! I walked into the bathroom where he left a pair of his shoes and it made me cry. I tear up every time I talk about him..... I received the "I am here" phone call and he sounded "not so good" to say the least. He was tired and sounded frustrated. I have been told that no news is good news... so I am going to assume he is making it.

[momof1navyguy]

My son left yesterday. I am a basket case too.... He is my only child and I only have my friends to lean on as I am a single mom. His dad is in the picture too and is a great dad but he went through boot camp and you know they are not as emotional as us woman so he just tells me to suck it up. That is not easy to do!! I can not wait until I get his address and can write that first letter!! Keep in touch if you would like. hugs!

[Madeline]

My Son leaves for Boot Camp Dec 11th... I'm a mess! The poor kid can't walk into a room without me crying and telling him how proud I am... This will be our first Christmas without him here... I Can't imagine getting out of bed Christmas morning and not seeing his face. How are you all handling this? any advise?

[Storymom]

so much advice posted here  (keep reading)...And  you'll find yourself doing so much reading and research as you learn more and more about his journey with 'Mama Navy'. Join the chapters on this website for Boot Camp moms, and the ones for your home state/city, and your son's PIR/ship/graduation group too. Give him an extra hug from all of us, btw!  My son has been in for 6 years, and has just re-enlisted -he loves his NAVY job!  (he says: we all hate bootcamp, but we all get thru it....its just a distant memory for him now)  The Navy has taken him around the world several times-- so much for 'booters' to look forward to.....  remember, don't make it too hard for him to leave you....it will rip his heart out which isn't good for his strength/endurance as he starts Boot camp.  He must focus on getting thru Boot Camp, and not worry if Mom is crying too much, or has too much heartache.  Let him know  "Mom has his back" and supports him in every way and is so very proud.

I had to put on my "brave mom face" with happy waving at that last goodby and saved the tears for the car ride home - with my family patting my hand, rubbing my back and saying:  "it's okay mom, he'll be fine"  ;-)