A school & more. New navy wife needing help

[rsadie]

Hi all, I'm looking for some advice on so many different things.

My husband changed his rating to EN, which means he'll stay in GL. He has to move barracks, start classes, and such with his new rating. I've heard that some people don't hear from their sailors hardly at all while in A school, like for days or even a whole week and I know compared to a deployment it's nothing. Since he's been in GL since December, I've been able to talk to him every night even if it's for 10 minutes and I feel lucky to be able to get that time. Does this just depend on the sailors themselves or the rules of the school/barracks has? 

Also, he's there for 2 months and we've talked about what the possibilities are for me moving out there. We know the navy won't pay to move me if I choose to. He said he should be getting his first duty station after school and that's when I'll for sure, we both know, that I'll move with him. The things is, I don't want it to be a situation where he gets deployed immediately after school and all the while I could have lived with him. I'm torn about that and not sure what to really do, and it's been worrying me. We've talked about it a lot and we're waiting until I fly out soon to see him once he's settled into his new barracks and such to decide anything. Any advice or suggestions? 

I'm totally new to being a Navy wife. We've been dating for four years and just got married in December. All this new Navy lingo is so confusing but I'm getting used to it. The sudden changes, not knowing any information, and waiting all the time is what's hard to get used to but I'm trying. I feel so lucky to have found this website, it's been a real help. Thank you in advance for the advice/suggestions! 

[Stephanie]

While my husband was in A school we skyped every night and he would text or call every chance he got. I know they are busy, but they always have time to say good morning and goodnight. We were in constant communication. You're husband has to make it a priority to stay in contact. My husband loved to vent to me and tell me all about his day. When spouses are far apart they both need to make a commitment to stay in contact and do things that show the love is still there, even if that is a quick "I love you honey! Have a good day!" text. So- I know they are busy, but my husband proved they always have a little time to talk to the wife. :)

[rsadie]

Okay, that makes me feel a little better. My husband right now does make it a priority to talk to me every day whenever he gets the chance and I'm very appreciative of that, it makes it easier. We'll just have to see how it goes with the new a-school and such now. Thank you for the advice! 

[Stephanie]

I'm very happy to hear that! It sounds like you guys will be just fine!

[Stephanie]

And I know it's hard just never knowing anything, and once you do know it's such short notice, but you get used to it and learn to have some fun with it...

[Emily-aaronsgirl11]

Angie would be able to give you the most info. But generally, I've noticed that most sailors that have A-school in GL are not allowed to live off base. In fact, I think I remember Angie posting once that they were no longer approving any live ashore packages for A school sailors in GL. Like I said, she'd be able to confirm this, but that would mean that even if you moved up there on your own dime, he wouldn't be able to live with you. Depending on liberty rules, he would only be able to stay with you on the weekends, and most times A school rules are strict enough that even that wouldn't be allowed. 

I know what you're saying about not wanting him to get deployed right away and not taking advantage of the chance to live together. But two months is a REALLY short time. Even if he gets put on hold for orders afterwards, it's still a really short time. Moving takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of money. To move your entire life up there, him possibly not be able to live with you, and then have to pack everything up a matter of WEEKS later. You'd probably be better off visiting once or twice and spending your time packing up and preparing for the move to his first duty station.

Of course the ultimate decision is up to you. Sounds like you're definitely trying to consider all options, just remember to balance what your head has to say with what your heart has to say when you decide whats best for you!

Oh, and communication during A school is pretty frequent. I always heard from my husband once a day or more when he was in school, and we talked constantly on the weekends. 

Good luck!

[Anti M]

Two months for EN?  Nope.

The only ones who get Live Ashore approved are in the AECF program (ET or FC), because their official seat time in school is over 20 weeks.  EN A school is listed as 14 weeks on the COOL card. That includes his BECC "prep" school.   It will be longer than that, with indoc and holds, but the seat time is what is used to determine eligibility for living with a spouse.

I'd expect him to be there at least 6 months total, however, he still would likely not get Live Ashore approved.  He needs to ask when he checks into TSC on PIR weekend if it is being approved for EN. 

Remember, if you do move there, if you leave anything behind at home, only what is in one location will be moved.  I don't know how much stuff you have, so that may not be a big deal to you.  No matter what you decide, begin "pruning" now.  Toss, donate or sell things which are not in good condition, or you just don't need.

[Stephanie]

My husband is an FC. He went to boot camp in Great Lakes January 2013- then ATT- then hold- then A-school- then and has been on hold forever! He's finally moving to Dahlgren, VA for c-school on the 14th- just a few days! Very excited to have him closer to home. My point in saying all this is that you never really know what's up until it happens. I never thought he would be stuck in Illinois for 13 months. It just so happened that he was on hold foreverrrrr.

[meagan5220]

It depends on the sailor, the relationship, and a few other things, but my husband called me every day at least twice a day. Once to say good morning and once to say good evening... Even the night he drank too much (which he called me 3 times to say good night because he thought he forgot lol!) We discussed that I wanted him to call me every day if possible even if he only said I love you, gotta go. Some women don't like that though and tell them to call when they can actually talk. I know some schools require more studying too, like nuke program.

I personally wouldn't move for a school that short. Even with there being hold time (which there will be probably) I still wouldn't move. Its a pain to deal with and the time you saw him would be limited. But that's my personal opinion.

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