Not fitting in

[29junkie]

I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.

Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.

I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....

Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?

[marthar]

I am right there with you. Im so excited that he has so many opportunities ahead if him that I don't have those heartaches. not to say that as more weeks go by that I won't cry from missing him so much. be proud and pray for him often.

[2catsn2sailors]

I get excited every time he calls, and I have Navy stuff all over, but I'm happy for him rather than sad for me. 

Life goes on

[2catsn2sailors]

Exciting times, GMA of a SR!

This "group" is really growing!

[2catsn2sailors]

I know exactly what you mean flyjill!

[Carrie (sh 14 Div 104 PIR 3/14)]

We are all different.  I would love to be less emotional.  The hardest thing for me is to be on this site and not compare myself/my SR to others.   I read about the long flowing letters detailing every moment of the day and my letter comes in with 4 lines.   Some SR send their moms beautiful flowers etc.  My SR was excited to go and probably has not missed us much yet.  Others are doing wonderful and frankly I am surprised everyday that he has keep his mouth shut long enough to last another day. He is a wonderful, smart boy but strong willed like you would not believe.  

Remember it is not about the clicks accepting you it is about you accepting the clicks!  We are all moms and my goal is to walk through this supporting people when I can to pay tribute to those who supported me!  

[IDCmom#1]

We moms (and dads and significant others) come in all shapes and sizes.  My son enlisted in the Army Reserves when he was 19 and I was pretty teary and waiting for those calls home and hated hearing the tears in his voice when he found out he was going to be medically discharged.  Fast forward to age 27, when after two years of chasing a medical waiver, he enlisted in the Navy.  I was still teary when he left but this journey was so much easier because he was older and so was I.  Now, ten years later, I understand the pain some mom's feels and how others are so excited that their child has gone into the military with a definite goal in life.  

When he deployed to Cuba, I was too uneducated on Guantanamo detainees to worry.  I thought he was just having an extended vacation.  When he deployed last year, it was secret so I was spared the worry of what the heck he was doing and where.  If my child were in the "sandbox," I don't know how I would cope.  I would probably be great outwardly but scared as heck inside.  But, as a mom, mother-in-law, and grandmother, I have to be strong.  If I were to weep, it would be in private but knowing I could log on to NavyforMoms to just read what other parents are going through would help. 

I hope your journey continues to be easier.  We need moms like you to help those who struggle more.

[BlueForever]

29junkie - love the post you started, and reading all of the stories.  My son finished the 1st semester of his Junior year in college, and left for BC 4 days later.  Leaving our hometown for college was really good for him.   We would usually talk every week or two, but he was always in class, doing things with folks in his Fraternity, or working his part-time job - so, I had gotten use to his independence.  His decision to join the Navy in the middle of college was a surprise, but he said he wanted to serve his country, and he wanted the structure.  I was really proud of him, and supported his decision.  Before he left for college, he was always active in soccer - high school, and club; so, I had been use to spending all of my spare time going to soccer games, year round.  When he left for college, it was a big adjustment.  But, I adjusted.  While he was in BC, he only wrote 1 time, so I will admit I wanted to know more.  N4Ms was wonderful to me, and being able to read about the Navy helped tremendously.  When I saw him at PIR, he had grown up even more, and my heart felt like it would burst, because I was overwhelmed with pride for the young man I had raised.  His uncle went with me to PIR, and we couldn't believe the difference those couple of months had made.  I have no doubt he will be an amazing Sailor.  He is so proud to be serving, and he is committed to the Navy way of life.  I'm sure there will be times when I will have to fight back tears, but that will be OK too.  This seems to be more of a growing experience for me, than him.  He is no longer my young son...but a man!  

[Davinsmom Ship 14 Div. 146]

I have been feeling similarly, only because I really want my son to succeed. I would hate to cry and carry on and have him feel guilty for making one of the most important decisions in his life. All kids need to grow up sometime. Whether it's to go to college, get married and move away, see the world, whatever. I would be sadder and would cry more if he were still living at home in his 30's or something...not being successful. That would truly represent failure on my part. I love my son very much, and the pride I feel outweighs the desire for him to still be here. He did not die, he went and enlisted in the Navy. One of the noblest things to do as far I can see. I think this generation is producing more "coddled"  children which result in them being dependent on their parents for longer than is necessary or healthy. Heartless? Nope. A great Mom, if you ask me!

[MaggieMay]

Very well said Davinsmom!

[BunkerQB]

Yip. Couldn't agree more

[Jsprings (John's Mom) ⚓]

Hello! I'm new here and my only kiddo/son will leave for BC on July 7.  Agree with so many other folks... we are all different.. some emotional, some not... and that's just fine. I know I will be like you though!  I know he has to start his own life and I'm excited for the opportunities he'll have. I also want to avoid being a hinderance to his confidence and success. I'll be a little teary when he leaves but I'll be fine.  I grew up in a Marine household. The level of diversity and acceptance in any military community is a fantastic thing....  you belong as much as the rest of us do! Cheers! :)

[Veronica - Corey's Mom ♥]

Not fitting in I also am the same way, but for me I think it was different as my son is 25 and he had been living on his own since he was 18.

I was sad when he left, I cried when he was getting ready to leave, but like you I am proud of him and I know this is his Journey to take and I will be here to support him.

How long did it take for you to receive his Package? Have you received the PIR info yet?