worried

[hena613]

My son leaves in july ..the closer it gets the more i grow afraid ..I can't sleep a lot i only have a few more months ..how do you deal with this anxiety and the thought of letting my baby go? he is my little man :'-(

[jrk'smom]

Hena613-

My son leaves in September and there are moments where I have absolute panic. Then I take a deep breath, realize that I raised a very smart kid and that he's going to do just fine without me there to call and check that he made it home from school, to check his grades on portal, to do all the little things we're so ingrained to do on a daily basis.  I also realized that I've never lived as an adult without being a mom, I had him when I was 19 and I was single mom until he was almost 13, so I'm getting excited about experiencing an adult life without having a minor in the house.  I recommend talking to the people here who have gone through the same thing and also, plan things to do for when he moves away. I felt kind of guilty at first but then I realized, I'm more than just a Mom. I'm an adult woman and it's ok to plan date nights with my husband, weekend trips with my friends and all of that jazz.  And those weeks between his ship date and when the Navy presents you with a grown and disciplined young man will fly by.  It's all going to be ok.  Change is scary but change is necessary for growth and appreciation of life. Hope this helps.

[Carla]

My son leaves in May and I'm feeling the same way. I can hardly talk about him leaving without crying. I'm so thankful that he told me about this site. It is helping me to read others posts and know that there is a great support group here while I'm waiting for the calls and letters.

[judy r]

You raised a young man to be independent a thinker a planner and he has taken what you have taught him made an adult decision to further his experiences in the world. Miss him sure thats ok but ask yourself this would you really want him to sit at home drinking sodas flipping burgers (and there is nothing wrong with that) or would you want him to take what you have taught him and use it to better himself? I have watched both of my sons go off to the Navy, he has retired with 21 years and the other is still active with 24 years in. They have taken me to wonderful places that I have just dreamed about. This Navy ride has been wonderful and I am glad my boys took me along. Embrace it and it makes it easier on both of you. You have join the best group of women in the world U S Navy moms we can't be beat

[Coach Shelia]

Sending prayers and well wishes your way today and forever! Give him lots and lots of hugs! Each time you get to see he will be more mature! Embrace the change. It is hard at first, but you learn so very much coming on this website. I get to meet judyr for the very first time in person very soon at my first deployment homecoming celebration!  I'm honored to have her wisdom and knowledge! This has been the best thing for my son! I miss him like crazy, but I cherish every part of his journey! 

[Moonwillow]

That is a tough one. I am going through the roller coaster myself. My son signed up 7 months ago and will be leaving next week. Just try to spend as much time with him without smothering him as you can. 

I found myself not even scolding my son when he needed it because I want his last few months home to be pleasant. 

Go do things like out to breakfast, or dinner, see a movie, or something as a family, in other words make memories. Also know in your heart that, like birds, we have to allow our children to fly. and this is his time to fly. 

Good luck

Melanie

[Skooter64]

I'm afraid it is inevitable that our babies grow up and go away. You can put it off, for a while, but you can't avoid it forever. I was watching mine sleep in a hotel room after PIR, and he just isn't the person that I raised. He is so much more.

I said to myself when he was leaving for boot camp, "He's strong, he's ready and he wants this." Your boy will be in good hands.  The job of supporting him and helping him believe in himself is an important thing for a mother to do.  It's harder than giving birth, but it's necessary. Give him your trust. He will thank you for it.

Take him to his favorite restaurants and visit his favorite places. Spend some quality time with him.  When he goes, WRITE THOSE LETTERS.  That helped me feel like I was doing my part. Send him articles or cartoons or print out "memes" or puzzles from the internet. Doing something is so much better than doing nothing. 

And keep coming to N4M. These ladies know what you are going through. We've been there, done that and wore the shirt out.

[canalzone6]

Take heart in remembering your own strengths when you were his age and how you raised that boy into a man. Do you remember how mature you were or felt? He feels that way now.

Another thing... These young men and women are going to be molded into strong, self confident adults. The change I witnessed in my son was just incredible. It is a good thing.

Finally, they *are taken well care of. Yes there may be accidents or illness, but that could happen at home too. The Navy is investing in your kid and they know what they are doing... They are very good at it whether we hear or think otherwise sometimes.

Keep the faith!

[MaineNavyMom]

It is such an amazing journey for them.   He is making a big commitment!  Be proud and happy for him that he is taking this step.  I thought I would cry when my son left, when I saw him at graduation, when he left for his base, before he deployed.  Not to say I haven't shed tears along the way, but each and every time I am in a situation where I think I will be crying I am beaming with pride and that takes over. 

It has been a journey for me as well.  It has been an adjustment to have him be away.  I don't hear from him nearly as often as I would like (every day!) , but I try to remind myself that he is settling into his own life. 

There is no question, it is an adjustment for everyone, but such a great one!  Try to enjoy the experience as much as possible  : )

[Vmapp]

My son left back in January and I cried for a week. He graduated last month and to see him in uniform and how he transformed from my little boy to a young man has made me so proud. I know how you feel because this my only son and baby. But when we've done our best as parents, we can rest assure that our children will become men and women of integrity.

[Lisa]

Worried,

I understand your fears.  My son will be leaving soon too, he is my baby.  It's hard to see them go, be strong for him and know you are not alone.  He will be back soon.  Take care.

[sublif3]

My son left last week. It was probably harder on me while we were preparing for his departure. Every time we had a holiday or something, I would think, this is the last time we are doing this before he leaves. I miss him like crazy and my household is so different without him here. I feel better now that I got his form letter in the mail, and I can actually write him. 

[Jlin SHIP03 DIV190]

Live in the moment. The past only brings regret and the future anxiety.  Don't spend your time with him worrying about what may be, spend it living in the moment that is.  My son has been gone 6 days. today was a hard one, than I got his letter with his address, ship # and DIV #... :)  P.S .He is no longer your baby. Do him a favor and treat as a man the next couple months. Have him watch as much as he can on You Tube on Navy boot camp. They have it in weeks and personal vid's ...It helped me too.   

Good luck, JLin