Not fitting in

[29junkie]

I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.

Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.

I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....

Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?

[Ruddgirl]

LOL  Hooyah Navy moms!!  See sweetie you are NOT alone :)  I had to post again after I went back and read all the WONDERFUL replies :) 

[Moonwillow]

LOL no your not heartless, I am on a little roller coaster but not as bad as some others. There were times while we were waiting for my son to leave that I just wanted him to go. He was driving me crazy.

My son leaves next week and I have mixed feelings, excited/worried, happy/sad. relieved/anxious

I think what you are going through is normal. I am already looking ahead to having my son out of the house. Not saying I wont miss him or worry about him but like you said "it is his journey" not mine this is his choice. Kids have to make their own mistakes, and accomplishments. It is their life. 

Your are not wrong, you are human. 

[usnmom]

I felt awful because I reacted the same way.  It was time for my adult child to go though.  Had he done this right out of school I'd have been a wreck.  I had a very difficult time in the first few weeks but adjusted.  I miss him so much, but thrilled for him.  I realized while I would need love and support from time to time, my energy was better used supporting others so that's what I try to do.

[Razorbackfan214]

I am feeling the same way. I'm excited for him. Of course I will miss him, but this is his time. When I saw everyone had "Mom" in their names I felt guilty. I'm glad to know it's not just me. Yell if you want to talk. Jan

[Moonwillow]

lol  Well I don't have 'mom' for my name either....and I felt a little 'out of place' by that too. 

[RitaCarmen]

I view your post and see it as genuine. My son was scheduled to go to BC in October but was offered the opportunity to go in 2 weeks...I'm not sad or crying anymore either, I'm just processing all of it and wish we had time to plan a going away party with the relatives coming in. We will accept this knowing that they are full grown men/women making their own decisions in life and come to respect their wishes. 

[jka1995]

I have 2 sons. My oldest is independent, athletic and strong. My youngest is very co-dependent, not athletic at all and doesn't have a lot of common sense. Of course my youngest is the one who decided to enlist! If my oldest son was going thru this I would feel just like you're feeling. In fact I would be excited for him. I don't think I would cry much at all. But, of course it's the youngest one that is doing this. I am so worried and overwhelmed with concern. But I just wanted you to know I can completely understand how you wouldn't be super emotional. I hope your son is doing well! Mine leaves for basic on Dec 2nd.

[BunkerQB]

My former sailor was the older of two boys. He was always mature beyond his years. When he started Officer Candidate School, we dropped him off at the airport curbside, my husband shook his hand, I gave him a quick squeeze, he walked thru the gate, we got back in the car and went to lunch. We didn't hear from him for weeks. Never gave it a thought. Of course, we found out later than it was much more difficult than we had anticipated. We never had any doubt he could handle anything.
We have a younger son who is equally intelligent and athletic but beats to a totally different drummer. He is fearless and is very capable but at the same time whimsical and does everything on his time table. Yes, he too is more dependent. The apron string is awfully long, I am afraid.  I worry less now that he is 25 and he needs us less too but .....  so I understand exactly what you are going thru

[Navy mom 49]

You guys aren't heartless! You are giving your kids love and support! Everyone is different in how we deal with things! Good luck to your sons in their Navy journeys.

[laughsalot]

I knew my son in law would do ok in boot camp he wanted this and I knew he would try as hard as he did.  My problem was my daughter as she missed her then boyfriend now husband.  I did read alot of crying moms but also some very informative moms also that helped so much especially when it came to PIR woop woop! hang in there my friend

[Bubbiesmom]

By just reading some of these comments you have family that is, has been or you have been in the military already.  That might not be the case for ALOT of us. 

There is no military in my family and my son and I were not only mother and son we were best friends...So it was very hard to see him walk away.  I don't have experiences with any family leaving for any extended amount of time with no contact what so ever.

Any one else out there understand what I am saying

 

[Kimba]

Bubbiesmom. Is you son in bootcamp? I missed mine terribly in the beginning but it has gotten easier since then. He went in on Feb 12. I leaned on the other moms in the bootcamp moms page and the relationship migrated to a Facebook page. Their support and kindness was what got me through and still does. Most of us met at PIR and still keep in touch via social media. Stay here for help and don't be afraid and ask questions. This " not fitting in " thread may not be the right place for you.