Not fitting in

[29junkie]

I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.

Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.

I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....

Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?

[elizabeth Nuke mama EM]

My son left yesterday and I got "the call" today.  I was a real wreck for about a week.  Crying at the drop of a hat and all I could think of was his three year old little blond curls.  But today, after his call I feel happy, almost normal.  

 I'm so glad for him.  I'm looking forward to seeing him at his finest at PIR.  I don't want to make this experience about me.  I want to support him and encourage him the best way I can.  So, I'm praying and just trying not to worry or think the worst.  

[MilitaryMomx2]

Just joining the group I can see it takes a little time to become familiar with the site. It's just nice to know we aren't alone in this journey. My son leaves for boot camp in just a couple weeks, I've been in tears off and on for months. For me, crying is being human, not weak.  Being a military Mom isn't easy but the pride that comes with their success is unbeatable. Hang in there.

[jayhawkmom]

My daughter left this morning for RTC.  She was so calm and ready to go.  There weren't any tears on our end when we said goodbye.  We weren't there when she said goodbye to her boyfriend, so there may have been some crying then.   Our tears and drama happened a couple of weeks ago when we all were dealing with how close her ship date was.  My only feeling now is relief that she is on her way and hoping she is successful in the weeks to come.

[stevesmom]

Definately.  My son leaves for BC on July 21st ... I know I will cry, he has never really been away from home.  But I am so proud of him and want him to find his way.  He is so excited and I am excited for him.  He is a young man not a little boy.  I am looking  for information, looking to understand the process, and maybe make a friend or two.

[BunkerQB]

Your son will meet many and make some life long friends. You will too. Welcome to site and being part of the Navy Family. Even though my son has finished his commitment and is no longer in the Navy, the friends I have met thru Navy For Moms are still my friends. Why, I just spoke with 4 of them by phone last week. :)

[AZNavymom]

My son is home now. But, when he left for bootcamp, I felt like you. Sure I missed him. But I couldn't relate the the moms here who were overcome with grief, crying all the time. Talking about this bond with their only son, eldest son, youngest son etc.  I felt like something must be wrong that I felt bonded with my son but not a mess over him going to be gone for 6 weeks. Was my bond too weak?

I was ready for him to start his journey, even at 17 yrs old. I wasn't as upset at the others on here. I also wondered what was wrong with me but I came to understand we all handle this in our own way and there is no right/wrong/typical way to do it.  Also, it  has only been one day for you so far. Not that you will suddenly fall apart, but there will be some tougher times along with the calm times,know what I mean?

[Cali68]

Everyone reacts differently. You sound like a strong woman. I on the other hand have always depended WAY too much on my kids for the definition of who I am. Now my baby will be shipping out July 15, and I am not worried about him as much as me! I am sooooo excited for him! What a huge opportunity. Garret is his name and he just lights up when speaking about the Navy. I do worry about him dropping from lack of cardio up till no. LOL.
Anyway, maybe your strength with saying goodbye can give me a boost... So I thank you, and do not consider you heartless.
Jeanette

[NHBBALL MOM]

29junkie - you are fitting in just fine. My son is currently in A school- like you we knew so far in advanced. I was ready and didnt cry not once, when he left , the night of his call, after battle stations NOTHING. I wasn't worried and when he called me that night he got there he said "Dont worry Mom I am ready for this. Mind over matter". I knew he was going to be fine. I like you saw Mom's post that they were down and out, cried all day long, couldn't eat or sleep and I chalked it up to every mom is different,  we had so much time to get ready and work out the "details" that the journey was the same for me. That was until we were picked up by Sarge's taxi that morning. When I hit the PIR hall I couldnt stop crying. I was so proud of his journey and he did it all by himself - well that was all attributred to me raising such a great son. You keep doing what you are doing.

[lemonelephant]

That is good news!

[Bensma SHIP 14 DIV 260 PIR]

Oh honey, You are probably the perfect person for me to chat with.  My son leaves on June, 24, 14.  I just got on this site, so forgive me if this is a late response to your discussion.  I am hoping that once he leaves I am able to move on.  I recently have gone through a break up and also started a new job.  Lots of transitions.  I know my recent tears are part of knowing he is leaving, but also changes in my own life.  My new job is a busy one and I believe will keep my mind off him during the day.  I am excited for his new journey. But at the same time, worried sick or my boy! He's been in DEP for several months, but I know nothing can really prepare him for BT.  It would be a lie to say he is not nervous.  I do hope that maybe I might find some friendship/support through this site while he/I go through this new era of our lives.  He is my last to leave home, baby of the family and only boy.  So, if that tells you anything. 

[lemonelephant]

I left info for you on your My Page.

[OKst8Mom]

I was glad to find this thread -- I've poked around on this site on an iPad, but this is the first time I've accessed from a computer.  Much easier to navigate!!

I've always been task-oriented -- take care of business and deal with the emotions later.  I was prepared to be a puddle when he was sworn in - I was so proud I could have exploded, but no tears.  I was expecting waterworks when they loaded up to go to the airport, but that was pretty anti-climatic, too.  Plus, he was beaming and, after a year in DEP, was obviously excited to actually be "going" - hard to cry when your child is so happy.  But, after reading a lot of the posts from moms who were grief-stricken and worried, I wondered if I was a touch cold-hearted.

I love my son -- all of my children -- with all of my heart and, if I had any inkling or sense that he was hurting or in danger, there's no force on this earth mighty enough to keep me from finding him and taking care of his needs.  I can't help but worry a little - that comes with the title.  But, I believe in him -- I would like to think that I raised a confident, competent young man who is ready to make his mark on the world.  He's smart, a critical thinker, and has a strong sense of purpose.  He's seen adversity and risen above it.  And, he's in the hands of God and the US Navy - you can't get much safer than that.

I've shed a couple of tears just because I know the 17 YO boy who left on 6/10 is not ever coming back.  The next time I see him, he will be a man.  I miss that boy, but am so excited to see the man he turned into.

Thanks for starting this discussion -- I'm glad to know I'm one of many!!