Not fitting in

[29junkie]

I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.

Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.

I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....

Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?

[Tammy]

OMG!  I thought I was the only one too!   I ask my husband on Tuesday (June 24) the day our son shipped out of we were just cold hearted parents?  Everyone is calling to see how I am doing!  I miss him but I know this is best for him!  

[bugaboo]

I think you have a good attitude.  It's all a part of life and nothing can make us more proud than seeing our children blossom into self-reliant, self-sufficient, responsible hard-working adults.  This is especially true for boys.  I was thinking the same thoughts about myself.  Yes, I miss having my son around the house but if he wasn't at BC right now, he would probably be hanging out with his friends and getting into more car accidents.  I look at the Navy as his new family and he knows from his father's experience that he'll be making life-long friendships along the way.  His family will extend out to people from all parts of the country and he will love the camaraderie of the military.  

[Publichealthgal]

Yes, I agree with you. My son was a little aimless for this past  year after graduation. He's always wanted to join the military but kept procrastinating. When he finally did it his whole attitude changed. I miss him, but I'm somewhat used to separation because he used to leave for two weeks at a time for high sierra trips with his boyscout troop. No letters, no phone calls, and a lot of work. It was kind of sad at first, but at the same time thrilling thinking about all the new adventures he's going to have and the self reliance he's going to learn. That outweighs anything else for me :)

[scubagirl]

I am of the same mind set.  My son decided not to finish college and wanted to join Police Force. No one was hiring and one of the police officers suggested the military.  He knew he was going to have to have jaw surgery that would delay entering the military for a year.  He had moved out of the house and was living with friends. He had surgery,  got his release and then was able to enlist.  He was leaving in November and that was changed to June.  Did I cry when I saw him sworn in? Yes I got tears in my eyes and when he hugged me and walked to the bus to take them to the airport.  No I am not crying everyday.  He is 22 and now has a future and a purpose in life.  It is a good thing.  I am proud and will be cheering when Ship 03 Div 230 is announced on 7/25/2014.   

[Birdiejr]

You know, reading this now I am reminded of my sailor's day three years ago. I was nervous. I cried afterwards. I missed him but I went on with my life. I DID utilize this site to find out information and I DID look for letters from him. I think everyone has his/her own journey and everyone reacts differently to different stages. I fell apart at other points in his Navy career but I have always been proud just like many others on here and I'm sure you are too. Don't feel alone or different. Just know that we are friends on here. I still talk to some of my N4M friends from BC. Hooyah!!

[NancyB59]

I agree with you.  It's their journey and we need to be supportive.  My son leaves next week and I'm sad he's leaving but also so happy for the opportunities and experiences he will have.  I think I'm more proud of him than anything.  Maybe there are more people like us; but they also feel that they aren't crying or worrying enough to post...  let's start a new trend and just be supportive!

[Publichealthgal]

I'm the say way. I just figure if he's in bootcamp, I'm in bootcamp too. I'm focusing on trying to improve myself just like he is. So, I started my workout routine and am trying to be somewhat more disciplined with what I eat. This weekend won't be easy but hey, it's the nation's birthday. I do have my moments, but they are moments of tearing up because I hear a patriotic song and I'm so proud of him and all the guys and gals who decided to serve. It always makes me tear up.

[NancyB59]

Evil stepmom, my son leaves on the 9th and ships on the 10th.  We're having his going away/good luck party on Sunday.  It's getting "real" now!  We just ordered his cake and bought a bunch of party stuff.  I am so excited (and admittedly a little sad he's leaving) and happy he's getting out to start life as an adult, not to mention a Future Sailor!

[1Bodyprof]

@ NancyB59: our SRs party was a blast! Have fun!

[ctl mom]

That's why I'm here for information - it's good to know I'm not alone with the lack of crying.  Yeah, I miss Christopher and love him with all my heart - but he is 24 and finally has a plan!  I'm so proud of that!

[jrw105]

I have a Christopher too! He will be 22 in two weeks at BC! I am feeling same way as you. 

[ctl mom]

Mine went July 1.