Not fitting in

[29junkie]

I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.

Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.

I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....

Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?

[sandiegomom2323]

I don't think you are heartless at all. You are just being realistic. Your son is starting his life and that's a very good thing. He made a plan and followed though, and that's a very grown up thing to do! I'm sure you very proud of that. Good luck to him.  My son is in boot-camp.  Take care

[sockmonkeymom]

I can relate. I'm not upset, I don't need emotional support so much. He's 19. I've done what I can to raise him to be a good man and feel like it's just part of the deal that when he was ready he would leave the nest.

I don't think you're heartless, maybe you just feel like you did a good enough job raising him that you were both ready- that's all.

[Anna]

I teared up when my son left, then made fun of hubs (he BAWLED) When his youngest left for the Army (perhaps THAT had something to do with it??)  Yesterday I got an email with all my cousin's letters to my Aunt (she joined the Navy in 2011, and is doing great!!)  Stayed up til almost 1am reading everything, and THEN freaked out.  I barely slept last night, had a crying fit this am.  Yesterday I went to work and knew something was a brewing...I was teary eyed.  I also cleaned up his room (I mean, emptied it out, boxed his things up, washed the walls and steam cleaned the carpet) I thought I was heartless!!  

You aren't heartless, You are a ROCK!!  I think we will have Kickin It days, and pick me off the floor days.  

I wanted to be able to communicate with mommas (and dads) going through what I am, and different takes.  You actually made me feel better about my Kickin It days...I want to be excited and proud and not freaked out.  Momma's that are doing good and more positive I NEED YOU! I want my son to know I am so proud and UBER excited to see him.  I want my letters to him to be strong and not "I miss you come home"  Because, he has no room...hahaha

Not being heartless either, trying to keep up good humor and excitement..for the moms that think I'm making fun, I'm totally not, I need to keep up, busy and GO!  My last of six (yes 6) SIX just left the house, traveled farther then he's ever had and already and I DON'T want to freak.

[Ang3and1]

Hey I did the same thing. My hubby had been the strongest, but he was also in the Navy so he's been there and done that. He says the only time in bootcamp that he actually teared up and got homesick is when his mama sent him a letter saying she wanted him to come home. He made me promise not to do that with our son. It's been hard and for the longest time I would lay on his bed and silently cry, but it's getting better. Hang in there and know you're not alone. You have a while family of mom's here that understand and will stand with you. :-)

[TUBAMOM]

I love this! I told my son before he left his flat screen TV was going in my room! He wouldn't need it anymore! I think looking forward to understanding his life won't be tied to us like it was is the only way I can understand the future. I, too, am so proud of him and his decision for a life. By the way, he was concerned because he would not have a room to 'come home to'! It will all work out for the best. I have always told my family when the leave in the morning 'MAKE IT A GOOD DAY!' I am making it a good day!

[BunkerQB]

When my son joined the Navy, we were happy, proud and clueless. We had no idea it was going to be tough. Navy for Moms didn't exist in 2006.  Everything will work out for those who truly want to be there. And for those who are in the Navy because they are seeking some direction in life, that is OK too - plenty of opportunities.

However, I keep my son's room intake exactly like it was the day he left except for a new bigger bed/mattress and new TV. It is a shrine!  :)

[orangegerbera]

There is no way I was able to leave my sons room in the same condition he left it. haha. It was a mess. I am sure that is one thing that will change after boot camp. I hope anyway.

[lemonelephant]

I wouldn't count on him being neater when home. When my Sailor visits, I often remind him about "gear adrift" and I've visited his home and his room is very similar to his room when he was a teen. Now, his rack on board ship was VERY neat. (My Sailor has been in the Navy for over 6 years.)

[DoubleNavyMom]

Wish I had noticed your post sooner. My daughter left for RTC on January 4th so I signed up on this website at the urging of her recruiter. Once signed in, I too felt that maybe I was an outsider to this new band of moms so I did not visit the site again until today. Yes, I miss her like crazy but as another mom below posted, this is her dream and I will suck it up at every turn to give her rock solid support. I have no family history with the military except an uncle in the USMC during Vietnam Nam so I was extremely skeptical at first. My daughter's recruiter was so good, I suggested that my son look at the Navy as well. He had wanted the Air Force but came away with an even better opportunity, in writing. Hence, my user name -DoubleNavyMom :) glad to know there are other like minded moms out there. My concern & the sole reason I came back to the website was to research if there was any kind of support program for Emancipated Minors (lifetime foster kids), who have no one at all. My daughter used her first telephone call to request medicinal grade chapped hand cream & band aids for her division. Next phone call, she relayed how a young girl in the aforementioned category wept in surprise at such a small kindness from a stranger. THAT makes me cry. Thank you again for your message.

[Sarah's Mom]

My daughter left for Boot Camp Jan 22, 2015 i'm really having a hard time adjusting to life without her here.She is 25 so made this choice and she really happy. I've only talked to her twice for 3 mins each. Trying to get info on graduation day when she leaves for school and i can't find any information on it.Any one have any ideas...

[CryptoDad]

 I still find that the RTC Family Guide is the primary source of graduation day info. Everything else is 2nd hand.

http://www.bootcamp.navy.mil/pdfs/FamilyGuide_v18Jun2013.pdf

[Andrea]

Graduation day is very special and very hectic! Out son graduated on January 16 and we were so proud and excited to see him. It's a very long day, get to the base early if you want a great seat! We left immediately afterwards and went back to our hotel for a while so he could decompress from it all. Went to lunch, the mall and just let him walk around and enjoy the freedom! He had to be back at base by 8 pm and then he left for A schoolTexas the following morning at 8 am they dropped him off at the airport at 4am needless to say we went to airport and spent the few hours with him before he got on his plane. Enjoy your time for it's very short, but was excited to see how much our 21 yr old young man can out of all this a very grown up and conscious man! Very appreciative too! Look at the Facebook page and there is a link in here through navy moms wish I had found this sight sooner, wasn't until like week 7 but still very helpful! Write all the time that is what keeps them going so my son told me! Phone calls are few and far between but very special when they do happen ! She will be fine and I'm sure she will do great!