Unprepared

[mum Z]

16hrs since I received that scripted phone call from my son. Unaware of the "scripted" part and or length of phone call (48 sec). I could hear stress in his voice. Also unaware of being able to have accompanied him to his recruiter meetings for preparation on what to expect after final swear in. Maybe he thought I wouldn't have been as supportive had I attended. Definitely unprepared for this journey. Never been away from my three children. My heart feels heavy. Experiencing detachment with my children becoming adults and leaving NEST that's been built with a strong foundation with walls insulated with ADT security. Now not even being able to communicate with my middle child and only son. I feel as if I'm grieving or had a loss. Emotions from PROUD, SAD, UNCERTAIN, EXCITED for his journey, and LONGING to hear him say "I'm going fishing". Never thought it would be so hard to fold his clothes, walk past his door, pick up his shoes, or not hear his car crank. Wondering if there are other navy moms who have experienced these feelings? Today only cried once and here I am writing without tissues thanks to the support from another navy mom (whose ex navy chief).  

[KGW]

My only son left for boot camp on the 7th.  I miss him terribly.  Not quite sure what to expect.  Each day is filled with many emotions.  Received his scripted letter last night, brought tears. Haven't had much time to be online to read all about what he will be facing or to learn how to navigate this site.

[Birdie507]

You are not alone! My son left on 1/26 and while I have not cried today I feel completely emotionally wasted. My 12 year old and my husband are not taking it well at all which means I am trying to hold it together. We got the call and since I was prepared for it and knew what he was going to say I had already told him to just read me what he had to read me and that I would talk to him over his reading. I got to get in a couple of encouraging words and then that was it. I keep thinking that when the next step happens....the call....the box.....that I will finally not feel like there is a 10 ton truck on my chest. We shall see!

[On his way to becoming a sailor]

Oh birdie507 and Mum Z you were so smart to say that to him when he called. I barely got an I love you in before he had to hang up.

We will get you through this. I was hoping for a note when I got "the box" but we didn't get one so don't be surprised that you will still go through every pocket just in case!!!

Seems like I was just going through this an now I leave next week to see him graduate.

It is because of the support of all these wonderful navy moms that I got through all this. Stay on this sight we will help you through too.

Thank your son from all of us for his willingness to serve his country. We are forever grateful.

[lemonelephant]

Did you notice the date of mum Z's discussion? August 27, 2013. She is fine, but thank you for your words for those who are just starting this journey a bit behind you.

[hvmom]

Mumz, I would love to hear any advice you may have. I am just starting my journey as a Navy Mom and I feel very unprepared.  I am brand new to this site - and my son hasn't even left yet.  He leaves for boot camp in exactly 4 weeks - and I am beginning to panic - which is not my nature at all.  My friends say to just pretend he is going to college - but it feels very different.  I won't be able to call him - he won't be 2 hours away and he's not necessarily coming home for Christmas.  He has been very independent about everything so I know very little about the process. I am so proud of him - but I feel like I should be doing something.  I just don't know what.  I don't come from a military family - and have very few close friends who have had kids go to the military.  I'm sure I'm not alone - just looking for some reassurance and guidance. 

[lemonelephant]

hvmom, mum Z has not been online since soon after this discussion went up nearly 18 months ago, but many have found comfort in posting here.

Be sure to check out the discussion, Things to Do in the Last Month before Your Future Sailor Leaves for.... Discuss the things there with your future Sailor, especially the 3 or 4 names of the people he wants to attend PIR and what to do if there is an emergency.

Stay connected with others in your DEP group who are going through this with you and join Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones) and begin checking out the Pages (found under the pictures of the Members) and Discussions there. Arrival and What Happens at the RTC will let you know what will soon be happening and what to expect.

Those who say "to just pretend he is going to college" have no idea. BC is VERY different from college. As you know, you can't just pick up the phone and call; there will little or no contact after the "I'm here!" call for 2 to 3 weeks, but you will be able to write to him even though you can't mail the letters until you get The Form Letter about ten days after he arrives. Just writing will help you to stay connected to him. Life will be different and you will learn to celebrate birthdays and holidays in new ways and will be thankful for Skype and fB once he is in "A" School and the fleet.

[lemonelephant]

Kesha B, check your My Page.

[mommat]

Hugs from Cleveland....My daughter will be leaving in May & I am already preparing .....I'm thankful for open & honest posts so I am aware xoxo Be Strong...you are not alone !!

[1 Proud Mom]

I dropped my son off today at his recruiters.  I cannot see him to the plane.  I have cried off and on all day.  Dreading the phone call....because I know when I get it there won't be anymore contact, but yet so wanting to hear his voice.  I tried to go in his room..... but can't do that yet.  So yes I totally understand!!

[Michelle]

Hang in there 1 Proud Mom! I promise things will improve! My son has been in the Navy for almost a year and a half now. I still cry every time I have to send him back to his Navy life but I get to talk to him almost every day! These next couple of months will be really tough on both of you so write EVERY DAY!!! They really do cherish those letters and are sorely disappointed when their name isn't called at mail time! Be strong, be proud and know that in just a couple months you'll be amazed at the young man your son has grown into! Good luck and God Bless!

[Bl780349]

I also experiened the same emotion. However, my son is 32, divorced and has a little girl who turns three in a few weeks. My son has been through many challenges in life and he is doing something boys dream of. As our only son we never wanted him to go away anywhere. But, through the years, trial, and tribulations we excepted this is what he wants. We are so proud.
The night he called we only spoke a few seconds like you and your son. I was surprised.
I hope and pray this is your sons dream and that he will do well and be happy. I have talked to so many people who have been apart or are in the Navy and it was the best job they every had. Remember any job has its problems. Live one moment, one day at a time and know that God is holding your child in the palm of his hand. Take care.

[limeadelover]

mum_z, I shipped my oldest off last Wednesday, and went through the same thing.  A week later I've receive the scripted phone call (he sounded exhausted as well), the "kid in a box", and today his mailing address.  What helped for me was to write him daily, and I'm composing a list of questions to send him so that I can know as much as my little mind wants to know once he writes. 

Even then, yes, I cried a lot.  I ate a protein bar one morning and realizing they were his, I cried.  I saw dill pickle chips in the grocery and nearly cried (they are his favorite).  I saw a guy riding a bike on the side of the road - white helmet just like my son - and choked up. 

When the box came with his belongings, yeah, I cried a lot!  I smelled his shirts too, and I'm not ashamed!  I have read every document that was in the box (extra copies I've heard), Facebook searched every name written on them, and tried my best to know as much as I can. This weekend I went out of town and that helped.  Try planning something to fill a day so that you'll be less likely to focus on it.  It really helped me to just be out and about seeing new things. 

And ya know, tears only mean we love them so I don't see it as a problem, but a way we are showing love.  Chin up! We will get through this!  Big hugs to you mum_z! I know your heart feels shattered.