Too soon to freak out! (??)

[KYNavyMomma]

I just stumbled upon another post and the first thing I saw was "I'm cleaning and rearranging furniture, freaking out"... that comment struck home with me. I thought I was nuts, and my whole family thinks I am losing my flipping mind!  I have two sons in DEP, one leaves in July, the other in September. I am slowly but surely going nuts. I cry all the time, I feel as though I have this huge bucket list of things that We need to do as a family in the next few months. I somehow always seem to forget what those things are though :)  I get frustrated after work when I go home and the boys are working or out with their friends, so I clean, clean and clean some more.  I have rearrange all the furniture in our house, more than once. I keep telling my husband I'm "spring cleaning".  I realize I'm probably just in the early stages of "freaking out", (times 2), but my kids and hubby have to think I'm nuts. I need to stay busy, I guess. I have a million things on my mind all day at work (last family photos, last family vacation, etc...).  I feel as though I am just not quite finished with my boys yet.  So many things I need to tell them, show them, teach them, remind them of.  So many more hugs and not enough time. 

[BunkerQB]

Ladies, please relax. Your sons (daughters) are not going to transformed into some 35 year old, take charge adult anytime soon. You'll be pleasantly surprised how often in the next 5-7 years, they'll revert back to getting help from you. Not help with earning a living - they are doing that by joining the Navy. But on the business of living - that is not going to end any time soon.  That umbilical cord is just a little long and thinner.  So please, instead wasting time crying - enjoy your time, watch him/her take these steps into adulthood. In the future, there will be enough heartaches to make you cry (professional and personal disappointment - it's a fact of life). You are sitting in a patch of sunshine RIGHT NOW. SAVOR EVERY MOMENT.

[Michelle]

 @Bunker QB Stating my feelings for support and for information on this site is what my assumption  was. I don't expect my son to be a 35 yo, in 8 weeks. Because he already is a man at 22, far more than most his age. As a stay at home mom when they were little I have learned to savor every moment positive or negative of all my children s lives. As a social worker crying can be very cleansing and can help to strengthen ones heart. When one is in sadness it can be the support system that can lift up and understand what the the issues are at hand.

I know my son will always come to me in need whether at 22 or 52, that's the bond we have, But I have been sad that I am not able to see his smiling face and communicate with him regularly for 8 weeks. Now that is a fact of my life!

Those are my thoughts, and I feel much more relaxed now! Thank you

[Michelle]

@Mittens my son left Wednesday and its lets say a different house. The weekend is different, I am used to him going in an out with friends. Sitting in front of the tv with a bowl of cereal, just different. I know this has been something he has planned for six months, but wow the loss of communication for so long is rough. I think knowing it is OK to be sad validates us as humans. Its OK to be sad we are moms and some wives.

I cant wait to see a letter from my son! It will be rather humorous he hates to write. Funny how he asked for me to pick him up some stationary!!

[RefuseToSink]

I don't think any of us Navy Moms "need to relax." We need to allow ourselves to feel what we feel, and deal with our feelings of loss and/or sadness in the healthiest way possible. If that is by crying, then cry! If that is by doing, then do! The fear of our sons and daughters leaving is much greater than the actuality of it. When they first leave, we must go through our separation, grief, and loss just as anyone would when major life milestones come and go. It is OKAY to go through denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. It is only by doing so that we may reach acceptance and begin to thrive once again in our lives. Also, once that happens, a little relaxing may be in order, but not in a way that dismisses your process, whatever that may be. :)

[Michelle]

Thank you @blitz1201

[KYNavyMomma]

Best of luck and so happy for you.....probably headed to PIR in the next day or two. Congratulations!

[CryptoDad]

The irony here is that if your future sailors follow your example of "freaking out" they will find themselves on a bus going home shortly after arriving at RTC.

[KYNavyMomma]

I don' t believe this comment was fitting or necessary at all.  I seriously doubt that any of these parents expect their sailors to "follow their example".  We are the parents, NOT the sailors.

[Michelle]

Thank you! Kory&Joshuasmom

[jaime2maggie]

Im sharing your freak out stage. my daughter just arrived in bootcamp right now :/

[Concernedad]

WOW! Some of the comments here in response to other just trying to help, are over the top. 

For those of us who have been around a long time, we've heard this story countless times, so understand if we may not be as compassionate as you would like us to be. However, we know, in a mere few months, Boot Camp will be a distant memory and your sailors won't be giving it another thought. 

So, what some of you saw as Bunker being uncaring, was really her trying to express (not trying to read her mind), you should appreciate the time you have with your DEPpers and not let them see you stress out over their leaving. Be sad if you must, but try not to express this to your future SRs'.

For the person who compared leaving for Boot Camp with the five stages of accepting death, well that just seems morbid to me. 

Boot Camp should be seen as rite of passage in letting you know you've done a good job of raising children to be responsible adults. Take solace in knowing it was a job well done. Your SRs' aren't gone, in fact you'll more than likely find they appreciate you more than ever before. Celebrate it. 

This is my opinion anyway. 

[KYNavyMomma]

My sons will never see me "freak out", not now, not ever. Maybe my use of the term was a little over the top.  I have been and will continue to be 100% supportive of both of them throughout this journey of theirs.  I will not deny for one minute that I cry, and have no doubt that there will be many more tears shed.  This is not something that they have seen, though.  I appreciate most of the comments on this thread and I thank you for them.  Some were unnecessary, but I respect the way you choose to handle things, it's your choice.  I don't need anyone to hold my hand or to treat me with kid gloves, as I am not quite that fragile.  Who knows, though, I may breakdown some day over the next several years. If I do, I sure as hell won't apologize to anyone for it.   I look forward to the support, advice and all around understanding from this group.  I see already we are quite a diverse group.  I only hope that respect is something that is practiced with each and every comment made.