Too soon to freak out! (??)

[KYNavyMomma]

I just stumbled upon another post and the first thing I saw was "I'm cleaning and rearranging furniture, freaking out"... that comment struck home with me. I thought I was nuts, and my whole family thinks I am losing my flipping mind!  I have two sons in DEP, one leaves in July, the other in September. I am slowly but surely going nuts. I cry all the time, I feel as though I have this huge bucket list of things that We need to do as a family in the next few months. I somehow always seem to forget what those things are though :)  I get frustrated after work when I go home and the boys are working or out with their friends, so I clean, clean and clean some more.  I have rearrange all the furniture in our house, more than once. I keep telling my husband I'm "spring cleaning".  I realize I'm probably just in the early stages of "freaking out", (times 2), but my kids and hubby have to think I'm nuts. I need to stay busy, I guess. I have a million things on my mind all day at work (last family photos, last family vacation, etc...).  I feel as though I am just not quite finished with my boys yet.  So many things I need to tell them, show them, teach them, remind them of.  So many more hugs and not enough time. 

[Angie]

Hang in there mom!  I was a little surprised to see some harsher statements, lets call it "tough love" (sounds better).... I joined this group to find support and I can say for the most part this is what I have experienced, and have cherished it.  I've had a few comments that make me look at my computer screen with my jaw dropped.  LOL  

I completely understand your feeling, as I too am "freaked out", sad, scared, stunned. Call it whatever you want....I get it!!  As a group of moms we all should know exactly what you mean, and I do.  

We have spent 18 years protecting, nurturing, loving, supporting our child.... we knew this day would come(I thought we were going to college...surprise), As a mom it does hurt and scares us to the core.  We also simultaneously have feelings of pride, joy, respect.... My emotions are like spaghetti.... all over the place!    

My son will leave around September(insert a tear or two here)!  I am human!   I cry in my car(cause I'm alone there)  My son knows I love him, support him... He has not seen me break down(and never will), but he has seen a tear or two fall.  I explained that I love him dearly and support him like no other, but I will miss him and that hurts. He understands and loves me for it!  

So its ok to feel what you are feeling!!!  

[Michelle]

@Angie, THANK YOU! Well said, and 100% agree with you! Thank you

[B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)]

Hi ladies - all I have to say is hang in there!  And come here for support ;-) Most people that don't have a loved one in the military just don't quite get it like we do - we are now part of a special "sorority" of sisters (and some dad's too!).

[teta]

I agree whole heartedly,,thank God for that.

 

[KYNavyMomma]

I checked, but don't see anything.  

[KYNavyMomma]

Angie, in reading your post, I swear it was as though I wrote it myself.  It's so refreshing to see the support in this group.  Truly, nobody on the "outside" really understands the roller coaster of emotions.   One of my boys leave in July and the other in September. I couldn't be more proud of them.  I do look forward to bonding with others here over the next weeks, months, years....

[anasazigypsy]

Well my opinion is that if I hadn't cried and told my now sailor from the beginning of his DEP how much I would miss him,I would be dishonest and disrespecting the relationship we have. I also told him I was proud of him for making a plan for his life and following through with it. I also felt he needed to know how much I would miss him to reinforce how much he is loved. As for the five stages, I realized early on that this experience he has chosen is the death of one type of relationship. He will never live under my roof again. He may visit but he and I have to discover together what our new relationship will look like. All I know now 7 months after he left for boot camp, and having him reaching the end of the leave he took after A school, is that it is the same and different all at once.

[J'sMom]

I have to watch saying "the last...".  My DEP son has told me he isn't dying, he is joining the Navy.  These things won't be the last, but we as moms feel that way.  I know now to watch my words.

[KYNavyMomma]

Very good point, and I really hadn't thought about that.  I need to watch my words also. Your son is right.  I have made comments about our upcoming "last" family vacation in July. Oops..  Definitely should refer to it in a more positive light, because it is something positive!

[CryptoDad]

Hmmm. With almost 11 years as a Navy family, I can't recall a single "last" anything. But lots and lots of "firsts".

[anasazigypsy]

@Crypto Dad I can think of one:) The last time my sailor slept under my roof as a dependant child. But I am looking forward to the adventures my sailor will have, in addition to the personal first s already experienced.

[CryptoDad]

"Dependent child"? That's an exemption you check off on a tax form.  ;)

Cryptomom would never have driven our Sailor to the recruiters if she hadn't already been an independent young women. How and when that happened I've never quite figured out.