He leaves tomorrow and I'm SICK over it, literally!

[Linda]

I am making myself sick over the thought of my only child leaving the house, on his 21st birthday, to become a Navy recruit.  I literally can't stay out of the bathroom because of the way I feel about him leaving.  I don't want to cry in front of him, but I have a few times.  I am trying to be strong but I think by holding it all in, I'm literally making myself sick.  I can't leave the house for more then a few minutes because my stomach is so sick.

He leaves tomorrow for Detroit and then on Wednesday for Great Lakes.  I seriously think I need meds to get through this.  I'm calling my doctor tomorrow.  I'm already a heart patient and really can't take this kind of added stress.  And I'm totally being selfish, which really makes me mad (at myself, of course).  I am a giver and always have been, so for me to cry like this is STUPID and selfish and that adds to my anxiety.

Our son is 21 (on Wednesday).  He graduated high school in 2012 and has had a stay-at-home job (recording music) since graduation.  That means he and I have been together for the last three years, every day.  I can't imagine how quiet my house is going to be now and how lonely I will be.  I don't sleep much.  Five hours max a night and my son always keeps me company long after my husband goes to bed at 7:30 each evening.  (The song "Lonely Days and Lonely Nights" just popped into my head.  LOL!)

So just venting and trying to talk this all out....even if just to myself.  I know it's childish, silly, selfish, and even mean to put our son through my inability to suck it up.  I can't do this to him and need to somehow act like the strong, resilient woman I know I am.  I'm just going to miss the H, E, double hockey sticks out of him.  How did you all get through it?

[Storymom]

:-) You're doing just fine Janine  (& others here)  --  I think a little 'pity-party' and grief-time is healing and natural, just let it all out.... take a deep breath and start replacing those sad thoughts with happy, pleasant, joyful ones!!  Soon your brain will 'retrain' itself to not be "needed" so much by your son.....Mama Navy WILL take care of him - she's VERY protective, diligent  & strong-willed. You're on the right track-- it is a 'process in transition' for both of you and this shall make you BOTH stronger, trust in that -- Mama Birds must let their children fly and SOAR, we all know it-- we just hate it when it finally happens   ♥♥

[alabamatlab]

Hi Linda.  I read your post and the comments and was wondering if you're doing any better?  My son left for GL on Tuesday so who knows!  Our boys might even cross paths.  I was always on the verge of crying for a week before he left. He had actually moved out for about a year and a half so he came back home for about 10 days.  And my daughter, who is married, had to move in for a little while at the same time.  So it was just the 4 of us again like old times.  That was great family time, but did make it harder.  

The only time he saw me cry was when we left him.  I couldn't control that.  But I made sure he knew I was proud of him.  Just going to miss him.  

I was a wreck when my daughter got married and moved to Texas too!  Such a life transition when they grow up and move on.  My advice is to find some new hobbies.  Before my son left, I started working out at the gym and worked with a trainer.  I told him that Mom is going to her own Boot Camp and when he sees me at PIR, we'll see who's in better shape!  We even took a picture of us showing our arms and measured them to compare how we both look when we see each other again.  It also gave me the incentive not to give up.  I can't tell him I wimped out!!

[Linda]

I am super terrific and haven't cried since I dropped him off at the recruiter's office on Tuesday.  Even then I didn't cry when he left the car, and only for a minute or two after I drove away.  I light my blue candle every day because I'm sure the first few days are very, very tough on him.  And besides, I miss him like crazy.  Heck today I ran from one end of the house to the other as fast as I could so the ringing phone wouldn't wake him up!!!  (I guess some habits are hard to break!)

Now I dwell on how disciplined he is becoming, how much he is learning, how hard he is training, and so on.  I know, though it is tough work, he is LOVING this experience.  Of this I am sure.

I too have decided to drop some poundage while our son is gone.  But I have a HUGE event tomorrow and Sunday, so I am starting on Monday.  I already have plans for a 12 mile bike ride on Monday and working out with a friend at the gym on Tuesday.  We'll see after that.  I have committed to working out AT LEAST 20 minutes a day, five days a week, while our recruit is at BC.  I know that's lots, lots less then what he is doing, but I still have other things I have to concentrate on.  Besides, at 59, if I start training like they are at BC, you might as well call the coroner!!!

[Storymom]

from another navy mom...long ago...♥

[Newnavymom]

My son left for Great Lakes from Jacksonville Florida on Tuesday. My daughter and I watched him get sworn in at MEPS and get in the bus for the airport. It was a great experience. I actually got all my cryin out of the way the weekend before. I didn't want him to see me feeling sorry for myself, lol. I wanted to treat the day he left as a good day all the way around. He is only 19, but I know he was ready.
I sure hope you are feeling better by now. I kept really busy this week and try not to think about what he might be doing.
His recruiter told me that we will receive a letter with some info about graduation in about a week and a half.
Ladies, hang in there!

[Linda]

Newnavymom, I'm doing fine.  (See note above.)  I hope you are too.  If you haven't joined the "Navy for Moms" Facebook page yet, do it.  Lots and lots of info there.

[Newnavymom]

I have put a a request to join the group, still waiting for approval :0)

[LeighAnn]

Wait until you see him become a sailor.....you will be so incredibly proud.  You just won't believe how incredible and wonderful his choice is.  I still cry easily because my son is gone and now I'm all alone.  But I am bursting with pride and excited for his opportunities and adventure.  See your doctor, buckle up and get on board.  Because it's an amazing ride.

[Linda]

LeighAnn, I know.  I can't wait to see him in uniform!!  I don't know how I could be any prouder then what I am now, but everyone tells me I will be.  LOL

[Jacobe's_NavyMom]

I am very new to this site but I must say, I thank God that I found it! It is so good to know that I am not an overprotective mother that doesn't want her son to grow up. Actually, my son is 22 years old and for the majority of his life, it has been just me and him. He moved to Texas briefly last year but ended up coming back home. He's been here with us for about 8 months and I got reattached to him. Yesterday, I drove an hour and a half to see him get on the plane to head to Great Lakes, IL. I literally broke down after he waived and cried all of the way home. People keep saying that now I can enjoy my husband but I enjoyed my husband while my son was home. So, there is no consolation in that remark! As Linda stated, I know that I am being childish and selfish but I just love my only child, my son! So thank you all for making me feel normal!

[Linda]

Heehee!!!  Have you ever heard of "MOPS"?  It stands for Mothers Of PreSchoolers.  They are BIG in our area.  I often thought I should have started a group called "MOOS" (for Mothers Of OnlyS" but decided I didn't want people to think we were a bunch of cows.  LOL!

Anyway, now I feel like I should start a group called "MOOSE" for Mothers Of Only Sons Enlisted".  It's just different when you only have one child.  It is.  Though every child is very, very precious to it's mother (well, at least all the mothers in this group amyway), when you only have one son, or in my case only one child, it's just different.  We're a strange bunch, we are, but unless you are one, it's just hard to explain.  

Kimberly, I know you can relate!  And yes you can consider yourself normal....as long as you're doing better now.  Are you?

[Jacobe's_NavyMom]

I am better now because I have kept busy all day today but I didn't let anyone talk to me about him being gone. I know my coworkers are only concerned but I told them maybe we can talk about it next week. But I am all in if you start the group because no one really understands unless you have the same situation going on. Thank you for the concern and we must keep in touch.