The "what ifs"

[Gemirus1]

We are down to 34 days before BC.

Yesterday, while my daughter was packing up her room, going thru her items, what to donate, what to keep, what to throw away, I could see the emotions running across her face. When asking her what she is thinking, she looked me in the eye and told me. "What if i signed up too soon? What if i hurt myself? What if my knee or my ankle act up? What if I don't do well?" She looked so lost and confused.

We sat down, making flash cards (she is having some difficulty memorizing the Ranks and few other areas), and I told her, in my honest opinion, that I don't think she made a mistake in signing up now. I told her, I had my "breakdown" about 4 weeks ago and I knew she would be having hers as well. I explained that things happen, some good, some bad. If something was to happen, she will be taken care and evaluated. I told her that I am so proud of her and that she can do anything she puts her mind to. That she has not only my support, but those of her grandparents, her Aunts and Uncles. She will do things and see things that most people don't in their life time. And even though I will miss her dearly, she needs to spread her wings and fly. We talked a little longer, looking at old photos and why she still had items that she can no longer wear. I believe she felt better and is looking more towards a brighter future.

Do any of you mom's have any additional advice to give. I know this can't be easy for any parent.

[Jes'awesome]

Gemirus1
Just go with the flow.

We actually had the same conversation.

Spend the next 30 days talking and enjoying what she enjoys about where you live.

My daughter said she felt a tremendous amount of pressure to succeed... That she didn't want to let people down. I assured her that if the worst case scenario happened, the real success is going down another path. That people would just be there to support her in whatever journey she was on... Because they believed in her.

On a side note, We had great fun taking her things to a homeless shelter, where her toys and clothes were graciously received.

Oh! And we hit a wall when nothing happened for a few weeks. I would expect that denial and avoidance is a norm.

[Jes'awesome]

I was devastated for about a week after she left. the first 10 days were tough. Now, I'm just focused on when I get to see her graduate. :)

[judy r]

What ifs happen for a reason and if any happen she just needs to know its ok. In the grand scheme of things it is just a bump in the road and she is not letting anyone down or disappointing anyone

[Gemirus1]

Thank you Judy.I know she is doubting herself, she can't be the only child doing that. I know that one of her concerns is that she is a little on the disorganized side. but also, she tends to forget, it's little things, like, she puts her keys in her room (where they should be), but forgets exactly where she put them. then she freaks out, finds them, cries some and says, how is she going to make it, if she forgets little things. I keep telling her, things will be different once she hits BC. They will help her, train her and it will be ok. I guess, she is worried about being singled out and failing. if that makes sense.

[judy r]

it does and my son was a bit like that too and he is finishing his 27th yr in the Navy  so they do learn how to deal with the little stuff lol. tell her about my guy if you want and let her know he is now a Chief Warrant Officer in the Navy. These "forgetful" kids can and do succeed.

[Gemirus1]

That is great to hear. i know she will succeed. she has a lot of confidence, just not in all areas, but we are all like that. i know she will do fine. she is the one who sat down and made this decision and i know that since she made it, it will make a big difference. Thank you again. your advice has helped tremendously. :-)

[Nina's Mom]

I think my daughter is having some of that same kind of fear.  (She leaves 9/1).  On the 4th she forgot to check on a friend's pet.  The pet was fine, no one was upset, but she was really hard on herself like you describe - how is she going to get it right in the Navy if she can't get it right here?  It's scary because we've always been right there to catch her when she falls.  Of course we will always be there for her, but now she's gotta "do adult things" (her words) and so we won't necessarily be *literally* there. 

[Kalena]

My daughter in her last week before leaving changed her mind I swear a dozen times.  She ended up going and said it was the best thing she ever did.

[chili92046]

Tell her what she is feeling is normal. The Navy will take Good care of her and her new SR. that she will meet are feeling the same way as she feels. They will soon become your best friend, teammate. they will see you at your worst and be there at your best. it's an adventure that will last you a lifetime. I went to AF boot camp it's one of my favorite memories. I served for 20 years and would do it all over again. Enjoy the adventure, from start to finish.

[sm1496]

There will almost always be medical staff around while PTing, so if she does get hurt, then medical is only right across the street from Freedom Hall. As for ranks and the other areas, she will learn, the RDCs give you plenty of time to study. They don't want you to fail, it reflects bad on them. In my division, we did this thing called 'Round Robin' It's where everyone in the division is in front of their racks, then starting at one end of the room they'll start with what ever subject, let's just say chain of command, when one answers right is goes to the next person. The next person must repeat what they last person said, and the next following answer. If someone answers wrong, then it's a group PT activity, normally push-ups. You wouldn't believe how quickly you absorb the information.

 

All in all, she will be fine. One thing that might make her feel better, sit down and make an address book, and tape wallet size photos in it. You and other loved ones can write little notes in that she can read once she gets there. It's very helpful during the first few days.

Hope this helps. :)

[Gemirus1]

Thank you so. It makes it easier knowing that she isn't going to be alone there. That there will those, who are just like her. :-)

[Gemirus1]

Thank you all for the overwhelming support. This has been a huge help to not only me, but to my daughter. I really appreciate every opinion and experience that everyone has shared. I am so glad this site was recommended to me. I find that I am not as emotional as we count down (21 days till BC). of course that will all change the day she swears in and leaves. I already know i will be a weeping mom, but a proud weeping mom. (I did warn my co-workers to leave me alone the rest of the week, just so i don't go off or start to blubber). again, thank you all for the wonderful input.