The "what ifs"

[Gemirus1]

We are down to 34 days before BC.

Yesterday, while my daughter was packing up her room, going thru her items, what to donate, what to keep, what to throw away, I could see the emotions running across her face. When asking her what she is thinking, she looked me in the eye and told me. "What if i signed up too soon? What if i hurt myself? What if my knee or my ankle act up? What if I don't do well?" She looked so lost and confused.

We sat down, making flash cards (she is having some difficulty memorizing the Ranks and few other areas), and I told her, in my honest opinion, that I don't think she made a mistake in signing up now. I told her, I had my "breakdown" about 4 weeks ago and I knew she would be having hers as well. I explained that things happen, some good, some bad. If something was to happen, she will be taken care and evaluated. I told her that I am so proud of her and that she can do anything she puts her mind to. That she has not only my support, but those of her grandparents, her Aunts and Uncles. She will do things and see things that most people don't in their life time. And even though I will miss her dearly, she needs to spread her wings and fly. We talked a little longer, looking at old photos and why she still had items that she can no longer wear. I believe she felt better and is looking more towards a brighter future.

Do any of you mom's have any additional advice to give. I know this can't be easy for any parent.

[Jewelz]

Gemirus1 ,

My husband and I went through the same discussion with our son at about the 30-something-odd days before BC.  His high school friends began to try to talk him into coming to college, which would have been fine if that was really his best option at this point.  We sat down with him and with a lot of research both on the Navy and several different colleges.  My husband even took him to 2 college tours the next 2 days following our discussion.  In the end, our son knew that the Navy training was his best option long-term and even said, "I think I was getting some bad advice from my friends."  Surely every recruit has these second thoughts as they are about to embark on a new life adventure and massive change.  I think you've done the right thing by reassuring her initial decision.  She, as well as my son, are going to find that they are in their "element" in the Navy and do us both proud.  :)

[TexasBird(Robin)]

Hi Gem- I'm impressed that you got her to sit and go through her room! My son is becoming a short-timer as well with 40 days until he leaves for Great Lakes. Best of luck to your daughter

[cjbmom]

Gemirus1, 

You did better than I did, my daughter has completed boot camp and has been at her A school for almost 2 weeks, and I haven't gone through her room yet!  She is an only child and I think she believes that if I get rid of her things, that she won't have a home anymore!  Most of what they need during boot camp is reassurance, so be ready for that.  It is very difficult the first couple of weeks, but as you see how strong our girls become- it is truly phenomenal! The change is very empowering, you will be so proud, not that you aren't already.  The self doubt is very normal, but when they see what they can do, all I can say is WOW!!  Good luck, your daughter will be great!

[sarahsmom]

My daughter has been gone about 10 days. Before she left she had many of the same emotions. We talked a lot. I asked her what things she would miss most and then did those things a last time, We made her favorite meals. Mostly I listened and reminded her of times she had overcome difficult situations and how she was making a positive choice for her future. Be prepared for her to be more clingy than usual and need more reassuring both that she'll be ok and you will be ok without her.