My daughter just left for Boot camp today

[Nikmama]

Hello all. I'm new to this page so I'm not really sure how it works but I sure could use some advice/help! Kind of a long story but I will try to explain it. My daughter just left today for Navy Boot camp. She is currently not speaking to her dad & I and we have no idea why. We have not spoken to her since April 21. She has a lot of anger towards us & again we have no idea why. I was there, & we have both been supportive, when she signed up for Navy. Just one day she said she was moving out & didn't want to have anything to do with us! We have tried very hard to talk to her & tried to be involved in her leaving for the Navy. She has a ton of friends that have been supporting her & a few families that have stepped in as her family. She invited all of them to her send off today, but not my husband,me or my son. We showed up anyway. She pulled me aside & asked me to leave, but I didn't & very nicely told her I wanted to be there to support her. She has always been a very responsible and we thought mature person so my question to all of you is....everyone keeps saying she will miss us during boot camp & mature & reach out. Does boot camp teach her how important family is? She has these other families stepping in as her family so I'm not sure she WILL get lonely and/or miss us. We devastated because we don't think she will be sending her address to us or inviting us to graduation. Will boot camp really turn her around?

[Concernedad]

Tough to say. I think Boot Camp will make her realize you weren't as bad to her as she may be thinking at the moment. 

I would strongly urge you to attend PIR. However she must add you to the guest list. My suggestion would be to start writing her letters. Keep them upbeat and do not bring any undue stress into her time there or attempt to discuss her current feelings. Just let her know you will be there for her and would love to attend her graduation. Boot Camp is tough, and getting letters from loved ones, goes a very long way to help them get through it.

I can only speak for my own situation. When my son left, he wasn't angry, but he acted as if now that he was joining the Navy and on his journey, he didn't need us any longer. We did attend PIR and were seated at the top of the seats so took us a while to get down to him. I could see the concern on his face when he couldn't find us in the crowd, and his relief when he did. He admitted later that day that he didn't realize how tough it was going to be, and I hadn't been as tough on him as he thought before he left. 

In summation, no telling how Boot Camp will affect your daughter, but I do believe it will make her appreciate home. Let us know how it works out. 

P.S. So start writing letters today and number the envelopes so she knows what order to read them. Once you get her address, which you should be able to from her recruiter, if she doesn't send the info to you, then you can start mailing her, and do so often. 

Good luck.