Unprepared

[mum Z]

16hrs since I received that scripted phone call from my son. Unaware of the "scripted" part and or length of phone call (48 sec). I could hear stress in his voice. Also unaware of being able to have accompanied him to his recruiter meetings for preparation on what to expect after final swear in. Maybe he thought I wouldn't have been as supportive had I attended. Definitely unprepared for this journey. Never been away from my three children. My heart feels heavy. Experiencing detachment with my children becoming adults and leaving NEST that's been built with a strong foundation with walls insulated with ADT security. Now not even being able to communicate with my middle child and only son. I feel as if I'm grieving or had a loss. Emotions from PROUD, SAD, UNCERTAIN, EXCITED for his journey, and LONGING to hear him say "I'm going fishing". Never thought it would be so hard to fold his clothes, walk past his door, pick up his shoes, or not hear his car crank. Wondering if there are other navy moms who have experienced these feelings? Today only cried once and here I am writing without tissues thanks to the support from another navy mom (whose ex navy chief).  

[tbird96]

Ok. Well I will let you know when I receive the box. I really love this forum already. It has lifted my spirits and I hope it provides support for you as well. Everything you need is here for sure. Thanks for reply.

[Tati's mum]

Exactly how I feel It's been a week since my baby left to bootcamp. She left on the 28th and I have been crying every day. I miss her so much. My heart feels so heavy. I recieve the box with her clothes two days ago. When I opened it my heat shattered. I just hugged her clothes so tightly. Doesn't help that her dog misses her too. He sulks around a lot. We are both a mess. 

[pooks9661]

I feel EXACTLY as you do. The whole empty nest thing added to it being my youngest who joined. I'm adrift.

[Sailors mom]

As I sit here and read all the post I can feel every emotion that is being spoken about. My son (only child) went into the Navy 4 1/2 years ago, and to say the least I was an emotional basket case. It took me forever before I could go into his room and once I did the tears just flowed, I missed him so much I believe I bought and sent him every card that they had at Wal-mart, when he came home he had so many letters and cards from family and friends that he couldn't close the box. He said that is what kept him going. I know all the moms here on this site on this discussion are very new to this and believe me it will get easier after boot camp they are allowed to have their phones and computers, but then when they go out on the sub there is no contact again, and again you will have those lost feelings, because you won't be able to have direct contact with him/or her and you don't know where they are and when they are coming back, my son was out for 9 weeks and it was like going through the first process all over again. But I am here to tell you that it will get easier has time goes by and has they advance and get to have their lives back (well some of it) My son is now based closer to home (thank the good lord) and his getting ready to get married, has a great apartment and is doing very well. I am so proud of all that he has done and he did re in list for another 4 years but its more like a everyday job now. So my heart goes out to all of you as well as my prayers, But believe that me they are missing you just as much if not more then you miss them. I have letters that my son wrote while in boot camp and the words that he sent were words that I had never heard him say, but I know that his family and friends mean the world to him and it was that love and faith that kept him going even through the rough spots, like when he got sick and ended up in sick ward for a week and no one contacted me to let me know, and when he was heart broken and I couldn't get to him to hug him, phone calls and words ofsupport carried him through. So my advise to all the moms is keep your phones close and when you do talk with your sailor let them know how much you love them and how proud you are. Time flies and it will get easier but those emotions and thoughts that you have now will stay with you for a lifetime but those are the times that we know what we did was raise our children to be the best they can be and they are strong and wise. But in our hearts they will always be our babies. God Bless you all and may your hearts be lifted.

[Tati's mum]

Sailors mom,

Aww, thank you for your advice. I like to come here for some support, makes me feel better knowing that I'm not alone and where everybody understands. My daugher, also my only child left for boot camp July 28th, it's been 3 weeks and a day now. I still tear up everyday. I miss her so much. I'm still trying to adjust to the emptiness at home. 

[pooks9661]

Thank you! Your words today hit the spot.

[proud navy mom]

My son who is my oldest just left me yesterday for boot camp. It's killing me is like they want his mother's love erased from him. I could hear the stress in his voice too he was so so .. i dont know how to say it.. but it broke my heart to hear it.

[MA2009Mom]

My son called me with the "I'm ok" call at 1:45am the way his voice sounded just made me want to give him a hug, instead like a good supportive mom I choked back my years and said "Ok, I love you, you've got this!" Shortest phone call I have ever had from my son. I'm dying here.

[proud navy mom]

I felt the same way when i got my call... i was so unprepared. But i told him i was proud and that i loved him very much and all he could say was ok bye.

[jj66]

My youngest of 5 daughter shipped out today. I was thankful that i was able to drive her to MEPS and stay until they left for the airport. I thought I was prepared but Im not just got home and cannot stop crying... its terrible i feel such a loss I know I will see her in 9 weeks or so but I feel so empty inside.

[MA2009Mom]

We are here for you, it's day 8 for my son and he still isn't assigned a ship yet (having to wait for enough people to make a full division) I was relieved to know he's ok and that he just got waylaid but yet so disappointed that I will have to wait a week or longer than I had anticipated to see my son. I'm so ready...lol so cry and know that it's normal. Savor that 45 second rehearsed phone call you will recieve soon (mine came at 1:45am about 5 hours after he got there) Embrace the stinkiness of your "girl in a box" (it's a good stinky) trust me! Lol..many hugs, its not anything to be ashamed of to express how much your miss your child.you are not alone we are here for you!

[Lisa Lou]

Hello,

 I know what you are going through. My SR left for boot camp in July.I went through the same feelings. It gets better with time. This site is a life saver. We all help each other. You can write what you are feeling,thinking, a good day or bad  there is always someone to listen and answer . I know for me it help a great deal. Just remember you are not alone we know what you are going through.