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Comment by meagan5220 on August 22, 2012 at 9:04pm

Before we go home I am going to sit down and talk to him about going home. Last time we were home before deployment we spent less than 12 hours alone other than sleeping. He told me I was being selfish.. umm yeah I am allowed to. I am the one he married, I am the one following him all over the country. Not his friends, and to be quite honest a lot of his family on his Dad's side doesnt even remember who I am or that they have met me! I am so sorry to hear that mattsmom!

 

I pretty much want to tell him that we will go out and let our "friends" know if they want to hang out that they can come see us. Not us going to see them. Our friends that kept in touch with us we will arrange times to meet them ya know? I am sooo over playing this game. His friends dont care about us or him. I am pretty sure most of them dont like me either lol.

Comment by Kim (Ethan's Mom) on August 22, 2012 at 8:26pm

If it's any consolation, they will wake up one day and find out that their 'friends' are just users. My son has been in for over 3 years and every time he has come home, his 'friends' never seem to find the time for him. The last time he was home, a few that HE called said they would try to meet up with him but only one girl actually changed her plans to make time for him. Now his friends are either married, away at college or doesn't take the time to see him. It really is sad because we live in a very small town and he has been friends with thiese people since Kindergarten, (he graduated with 25). It takes time but they will see who their true friends really are.

My sailor doesn't want to go overseas because his 3 year old daughter lives here in Oklahoma and he doesn't see her as it is. He said if he went over there, he would never see her.

Comment by mattsmom on August 22, 2012 at 8:18pm

Hey Ladies, I swear you've been calling my name!!!! I need to vent too, i'm heartbroken :(

Matt came home on the 10th, leaves early next week, and he has slept here one night and eaten one dinner with us and that was with friends. Basically he doesn't want to do anything with us. My husband took this week off work and we had agreed he would spend the first week with his friends the second with us. Well that's NOT working :(

He has a certain friend that treats his sister like crap at school, never ever wrote one email or sent a letter to him in bootcamp or on the ship, but as soon as he knew he was coming home he's up his ass as far as he can get.

I know Matt is paying for all the gas and them eating out and it makes me so mad that i haven't been able to make all his favorites.The cake i bought  i've had to throw away with the cookies i made the day he came home.

My husband and other son (almost 22) did at least spend last weekend with him (and the friend) as they went to a Kiss and Motley Crew concert. My husband at 48 had a great time, so that was awesome!!! At this point i'm so glad they got to do that together, but my hubby did see Matt give his friend $60...what???

I do get that it was so hard on them being on the ship for that long, but i guess i was expecting my little boy home, not the grumpy 19 year old. He's done so much in only one year in the Navy, august 17th, My hubby is retired airforce(22) years so he understands more than me.

@ Davids mom,i tried to show Matt a picture of your David as we know they're in the same squadron,i wondered if they knew each other,but he wasn't interested in any of it. Bearing in mind his squadron is going overseas in January, he's not sure if he's going, really wants too as he made a lot of friends, so at this point he has that in his head of not knowing where he will be if he doesn't get to go.

Ok i think that's all off my chest now,i know i'm not the only one.Thanks for being here for me.

Sue xx

Comment by tammy ruth on August 22, 2012 at 8:14pm

WooHoo in just a few short days our Sailor son will be home on 2nd leave!! we all cant wait to go to the cabin way deep in the woods at Toledo Bend. i have things bought and packed for our getaway with our son. luckily our sailor is not married nor does he have any children or a steady girlfriend at this time, im gonna enjoy this special time with him. Good day all...

Comment by Kim (Ethan's Mom) on August 22, 2012 at 7:24pm

Mine just got back today. He was on the Cape St George this time.

Comment by Kim (Ethan's Mom) on August 22, 2012 at 7:23pm

My son is with HSM77

Comment by Mrs. David's mom on August 22, 2012 at 7:22pm

Kim, I'm guessing our sailors are in the same squadron.  David's squadron is also going overseas in January.  We are planning to go visit him this fall.  We have heard very little from him since they got back.   

Comment by Marty Mc on August 22, 2012 at 6:01pm

Alaina, my son hasn't mentioned anything about the new ship, at least not recently. (I think our sons were on the same base?) My understanding was he would be assigned a new ship.

Of course, it would be easier to know if I'd talked to him. For a multitude of reasons we haven't even talked since he got into US waters... Cutting apron strings sometimes feel like a noose (on the kid's side) I guess. Wish they didn't feel they had to incinerate them just to feel "grownup."

Trying to learn to have a new relationship with a married child is hard. (I'm kicking and screaming on that one...). But I know the parent-child relationship never really "grows up or changes." I'm seeing it now that I am living near enough for my Dad to come over and help me do stuff around our new rental house...(OK, look at the picture in the corner, and calculate how old my Dad is to be doing handyman stuff. My siblings say I'm renewing my title as "P.P." (Parents' Pet) HAHA!!!! Bottom line, they ARE still your child, at any age. God set you up as the MOM, not the buddy/pal, etc. Yeah, I hate big-girl panties, also!!! ;-)  Hang in there.

Comment by meagan5220 on August 22, 2012 at 5:22pm

lol sorry for my vent! I am sorry that you are on the other end of it! It really does suck :( Hugs!!

Comment by meagan5220 on August 22, 2012 at 5:21pm

Alaina I actually know how you feel on the other end. When we went home for last leave period we spent WAY more time with his family then we did with mine. This time my Dad will only be home for less than a week of us being there and I told him we WILL be spending more time with my family. Last time it was very uneven. I did stay there a few extra months but I hadnt seen my family in awhile and I was back home but not getting to see them and I was pissed to say the least. and I have a three year old sister and she was absolutely devestated that she barely saw him. She actually cried. I had to sit him down and explain that when he has been around her whole life and for her its like not seeing her brother. She doesnt realize that he is not actually her blood brother, she seems him as part of the family in the purest way. So I told him especially this time we would be spending more time with my family then we did last time.

 

I am also freaking pissed off because his "friends" didnt email him the entire time and of course as soon as they heard he was home they called and texted him and "apologized" for not emailing saying they didnt know what to say to him. He has forgiven them but I already told him I will throw a major fit if we spend a ton of time with them like we did before he left. They are shitty friends and do this crap everytime they find out we are coming home. They did it during bootcamp, and a school and while we were in WA. He is finding it hard to let go because he doesnt want to let go of home. but I am so over it.

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