Comment

Comment by nvmomma on October 3, 2011 at 8:38pm

Thank you NancyJo for this statement: "What we have to learn about suicide is that for the person doing it, it seems like the best solution.  Their pain puts them beyond selfishness, or understanding, and sometimes even faith in God.  They aren't doing it to hurt anyone but themselves."

I know the pain of depression, and while I have never been suicidal, the hopelessness I feel at times can be described by the above statement. I believe that in order for anyone to be willing to take their own life, there has to be a deep personal despair beyond any thought of retaliation against someone else who does them wrong. It is not something that anyone would enter into lightly.

As Sherri said in an earlier post, it is difficult to understand the pain of someone who is dealing with depression unless you have experienced it yourself. I have felt many times the pain of being misunderstood or rejected because people are so uncomfortable with this issue. Many do not take this condition seriously as a real medical ailment, and there is such stigma still attached to any form of mental illness. It is no wonder that it is hard to see warning signs, because people who are depressed learn to hide their condition as a coping mechanism to protect themselves against that rejection they have come to expect. Depression is real, it is mental, physical, spiritual, and it is overwhelming to the person experiencing it. In true depression, it is simply not possible for someone to just 'snap out of it'. I think it would do a world of good if more people would put away their preconceived ideas and judgments and be willing to listen to and accept the troubled people in our midst. There are more of us than anyone could ever know. Compassion could go a long way in saving a life.

Comment by Andi6109 on October 3, 2011 at 8:30pm

my boyfriend told me they have to do interviews this week because of what happened over the weekend. he thought they would have a training class, instead they have to do interviews. I am guessing with the SLPO. so at least they are giving the guys opportunity to talk about any issues they are having in light of everyting

Comment by MomofNuke on October 3, 2011 at 8:28pm

Lisa MMNukeMom,  I've been trying to remember what class my son was in in BC but it completely escapes me.  I'll let you know when I figure it out.

 

Comment by Sharon ~ K's Mom on October 3, 2011 at 8:18pm

J's mom, I will have to agree with Bunker, you brought up some great points. I am not sure what is available or not to them when they get there. They get briefed on so many things, not sure if this is one of them. I still have some conncections though my son is no longer in the program, so that is why I post here and there.The tragedy of suicide leaves you so empty, the heart hurts, the soul cries. Though we don't know these young men and women, they are truly in my prayers every day. They are under such stress to get through the pipeline, some don't make it for one reason or another. We have been through that too, and D is doing well serving on the USS Enterprise. We are proud of him and all he has done thus far in his naval career.

I do know when D was still there he did tell me that there were so many people waiting on medical discharges. There are getting out for whatever reasons, depression being one of them. Somehow, things need to change so our young people have to lifelines that are needed to get through such a challening program. Some hide things well, you never know what they are thinking and they won't talk to anyone and then they take their lives and it stuns everyone.

 

Bunker, thinking that is a good idea. I would agree with you, this isn't the last time we will hear of any suicides. As tragic as it is, it will happen somewhere again in a mere 16 minutes. There are so many right out of high school, never having been away from home. They had everything done for them and now they are expected to do so much, study for so many hours, not having family or close friends nearby. Some don't know how to adjust to so many changes in a short amount of time. We have to keep talking about it, we need to educate people, keep it out in the open. We can't allow it to be pushed under the rug.

Comment by BunkerQB on October 3, 2011 at 6:58pm

J's mom, you have brought up a number of good points. I am going to copy and paste our comments and put all of them in a discussion above. That way, we'll be able to refer to the comments later on. Unfortunately, I don't think that will be the last time we'll hear about these tragedies. If we could just prevent one, then maybe two ......  moms with sailors who are closer to the situation, are your sailors talking about it?  Have they talk amongst themselves?  With the instructors?  I am sure there are cases of undiagnosed depression with a percentage of the sailors. I have heard of cases in BC where the sailor recruit is discharged - continuing the propensity for the sailors & recruits not to talk openly about this.

Comment by Sherri_M on October 3, 2011 at 6:51pm

oh---in my last post, the
"i am looking forward to hearing my son passed", is meant for you all...I can't wait to see all your posts saying "my son passed" --you probably all know that, but just incase...wanted to clarify. 

Good luck once again!!! 

Comment by elizabeth77(USS SAN FRANCISCO) on October 3, 2011 at 6:50pm

This is sooo sad.  I found this posted on NavDads when I googled Nuke School Suicides.  I wonder how far she has gotten with her quest to find more resources for our sons and daughters in the Nuke program.  This must be the mother of one of the men who committed suicide right after my son arrived.  She has written many other posts.

 Reply by Mary Rose Hildinger on January 11, 2011 at 9:29am

Dear Scott,  after reading your message on Navy Dads, i wanted to reply. My son graduated from Boot Camp in March from Great Lakes Naval Base in IL. He went on to Charleston SC for Nuke school. He was a talented young man who wanted to serve our country. While in Nuke school he got very depressed about not living up to the expectations. He committed suicide so they say. After much research and talking with Congressman Mike Pence on Indy I have realized what tremendous amount of pressure our young men and woman are under. They dont prepare them or give them counseling like they should. I am trying to come up with a program that will help them understand what they are up against. This is all new to me and I would appreciate your support. I wish your son the best, and just be supportive and make sure that he can contact you. Mary from NY.

Comment by Sherri_M on October 3, 2011 at 6:49pm

well everyone....I just want to say GOOD LUCK to class 1104 with their comps tomorrow.  I am looking forward to hearing my son passed!!  

While I will not be as stressed, nervous, anxiious, etc, etc, etc as you all will be tomorrow waiting for your answers, believe me when I say...I will be thinking of all you moms and even more for all your sailors!  I will be saying extra prayers for the sailors and will be praying for patience and no stress for you moms!   Mine isn't taking the comps, as you all know, but I will be nail biting and anxiously awaiting the good news!  I will be celebrating right along with you once you hear!  I wish I was going to PS grad this weekend, but it wasn't in our cards. I will miss being there--because I was so looking forward to meeting so many of you, but know I will be there in spirit and I can't wait to see pictures of your handsome sailors at gradutaion!!!! 

Comment by swim4life on October 3, 2011 at 6:11pm

just wondering, after reading the comments, if most of us have been touched by suicide at some point in our lives.  My heart goes out to the sailor's family, and to all of you that have experienced loss and grief.  Mental illness and depression are very hard on families.  It is the hidden, invisible, unmentionable illness.  When we break a bone, we get a cast, and sympathy, and empathy.  When a mind is broken, or a heart, often no one knows.  I wonder what percentage of college students on any given campus commit suicide??  Maybe the percentage is not any higher at Nuke School, but with a small campus, and relatively small group of Nukes, maybe it's just that everyone knows.  May God continue to help them all, and send His angels to protect them....

Comment by Lisa (MMNuke Mom) on October 3, 2011 at 6:03pm

momofnuke, my son was div. 951 - what was yours?

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