Comment

Comment by BunkerQB on October 3, 2011 at 2:17pm

Mark, I really have to take except to your statement,

My personal view though FWIW - is that taking one's own life in a situation like this is exactly intended to cause the guiltiest feelings possible.

I have known a few who committed suicide. I don't believe they were trying to cause pain to those around them (presumably people they love). They were focused more on their own pain. The pain is so great and they don't see a way to ease it, they can't take it any more. If they were really aware of the pain it would cause I don't believe they would've done it. You really never know when an act of kindness will be the instrumental in turning a person's life around. Case in point.

Thirty-five years ago, I was a brand new Realtor. A couple I had met went to an open house conducted by a fellow agent, I'll call Allan. They loved the home but couldn't remember my name. Allan knew me because he was the manager/owner of a very successful office I had interviewed with. Allan was well known and very active in the local community and regional and national real estate boards. He could have taken the couple and sold them the home himself. He didn't. He gave the couple my name and phone number. I sold this couple the home. Fast forward 15 years. Allan was the selling agent, representing the buyers on a home. I represented the sellers. Allan had fallen on hard times. His ventures into real estate developing failed. His wife left him. He lost his office. I barely recognized him. He was incompetent. His buyers were furious with him. I did the work for both sides. The buyers & sellers didn't feel Allan had earned his commission. I could've taken the whole commission. I remembered his act of kindness when I was young. I insisted that Allan get his 50% share of the commission. I spoke with Allan 6 months after close of escrow. He cried when he told me that he was going to commit suicide because he didn't have money to pay rent. The commission check made it possible for him to move to a less expensive area, put a deposit on an apartment and covered his living expenses for a few months. He found a job managing an apartment building - a far cry from the lofty financial position he once held.

BE GOOD. BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND EACH OTHER.

Comment by SonandSea on October 3, 2011 at 2:14pm

Hi all! My son just PIRed on 9/30and got to GC on Sat. I have a million questions, of course. He says he starts classes on 10/27. Any chance he will get to come home for Christmas? I am reading lots of conflicting info on this. Thanks~Dale

Comment by NavyMomLG on October 3, 2011 at 2:02pm

mn linda - so jealous, hope you have a great time!!  I talked to my son last night and he said he did better on Friday's test than he expected, but is still a little nervous about comps on Tuesday.  He thinks he is going to be working at Patriots Point after he graduates.  He was talking about some of the jobs his friends who are already on Grad Hold have and one just made me smile.  This young man works at the Air Force day care center, preparing snacks for the kids.  I guess there are all kinds of job opportunities!  He said the AF guys give him a hard time about being a Nuke, and that there is a little friction between AF and Navy supervisors now that it is a joint base.  But all in all, not a bad job.  Better than cleaning!

Comment by MomofNuke on October 3, 2011 at 1:19pm

Congratulations mn linda!

Comment by NancyJo (NNPTC) on October 3, 2011 at 12:04pm

Have a great trip mn linda!  It's an awesome experience.  Enjoy every moment and when you hug your sailor, know N4M is hugging him/her too.  Congratulations on a terrific achievement.

Comment by mn linda (nuke MM ELT Groton CT) on October 3, 2011 at 11:51am

We leave Thursday for Power School graduation for class 1104.

Comment by Connie foaling-lady (Groton) on October 3, 2011 at 10:49am

RE: letters ... I know some of you aren't comfortable writing letters to your sailors; I have to dictate stuff to my husband for his rare letters to our son, ha ha ... but since I was a newspaper editor/reporter for 20 years, letter-writing comes easily to me. Here's an idea that may work for you: clip out comics from the daily paper (sigh, not many households get a paper anymore!); also cute or funny stories or articles that may interest your sailor, or even crossword puzzles or suduko (or whatever that is!). Stuff them in an envelope and add a personal note on a post-it or piece of scrap paper -- so you don't have to write a full-blown letter -- and send off one or two a week. Painless! My son saves his letters to read on Sundays... I secretly wondered if he thought they were pretty lame, until one day he said "I really enjoy getting your letters. Please keep writing to me, it means a lot."  A real Hallmark moment!!

Comment by NancyJo (NNPTC) on October 3, 2011 at 10:08am

We have mental illness in my family, and when my son was 13 lost a friend around the corner from us to suicide, also 13, and 2 months later his 21-yr-old cousin as well. What we have to learn about suicide is that for the person doing it, it seems like the best solution.  Their pain puts them beyond selfishness, or understanding, and sometimes even faith in God.  They aren't doing it to hurt anyone but themselves.

I don't know anything about the wife of the sailor who committed suicide, but even if she was the worst wife in the world, she would have to be one cold fish to feel no remorse.  Maybe she is that way and if so she is the most pathetic human being imaginable. God bless all our sailors, and God bless all of us to help us be the best support we can be to our sailors.

Comment by Mama C (PS E-Class 1202-1) on October 3, 2011 at 9:31am

J's Mom - I wish my son had the same thought on GF's.  He started dating someone 5 weeks before he left for BC!  He left in March for BC and got to GC May 14th.  I understand he may have "wanted someone at home" but the sad part is that this girl is still in high school - she's a senior now.  I'm just not convinced she's marriage material.  I know my son talks to her more than he does me, but I'm still not convinced. 

MN Mom - My son didn't take advanced classes either in high school.  He's doing well, just not what he would like to be doing.  I, too, tell him each time I talk to him how proud I am of him and that I'm praying for him and that he can do this.  He's a smart kid.  He's just never had to apply himself like he is now.  It's a whole new world for him with this amount of studying.

Sending a package today!  I may have to send two - he wants his Bears Jersey!  He was home for Labor Day, but for whatever reason didn't pack his jersey.  I suggested it to him, but it didn't happen.  After I sealed up his package this weekend, I remembered the jersey.  Mailing envelope, here I come! 

Have a great day ladies!

Comment by MN Mom of MM on October 3, 2011 at 12:23am

Penny...My sailor is also in the Power School grad class of 12/2 He is section-7There is usually at least 1 text a day between us even if it is only to say HEY !   I was blessed that we were able to Skype last Fri. Had good conversation about what he sees ahead of him the next 2 mo.   He also talked about some really hard exams a couple weeks ago, scoring lower than he has been used to, but said he is thankful he is passing everything, it's crazy tho to have one exam 3.8, then a week or two later a 2.95..  He just wants to be done.  He told me today he would just like to have time to read a book or have "me" time.   He is going to be 20 in Nov. didn't do any college classes, and not really any advanced science, chem, physics,  or adv. math classes in HS.  In that respect he is doing awesome  which is what I tell him all the time and how proud I am of him.   Girl Friends I am thankful also that the girl, here, is so supportive of him and at this point they are not "in a relationship"  every so often I check on FB if something changes.  I also tell him often  "Upon every rememberance of you I thank GOD for your life."  I find myself also praying for all in his class, and for the instructors to be teaching the best, and for good study groups and all those who help our sailors master this material.

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