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Comment by Ashley122209 on November 16, 2010 at 10:27pm

Lynne-Well I just actually joined the site via monica almost a week ago, and also yes i just changed it about two days ago(bc it had our last name, which from a message i got wasn't a good idea?) and i did just start actually talking, i've been beyond busy with just moving down to pensacola, and with an 11 month old and finding a place to live trying to help my husband get everything he needs which has seemed to be a never ending list haha. Monica has helped me out so much! (which i have said before and will keep saying because I am so greatful to have met her and to have her take my daughter and i in while we were looking for a place=])


Kat- I will def. google =] thank you for that information i'm sure my husband would enjoy that also! I know since joining and boot camp my husband has been praying more, which he really never did prior to this experience. We believe in god and that he wouldn't give us more then what we can handle...so we're trying to keep strong and make sure our communication is completely open! I told him to please tell me everything even if it would hurt me or my feelings I want nothing to be held back. So after we reassured each other that we were in this together and for the long haul no matter what, i think has made it a little easier? Atleast for me i know it has. There's just so much i know he wants to talk about but he just feels so rushed and hasn't been able to just fully focus on our phone time =/ so i'm really excited for our weekend together to have face to face talking time and crying time =]. How is your son doing with school? I hope he is doing well and confident in everything that he is about to accomplish=]

Comment by mimi on November 16, 2010 at 10:06pm

I would like to add a comment to what Lynne and Beckie said about being strong supportive and upfront. I was not a military wife, ironically my husband worked for a company out of Florida ( we live in Indiana) that did jobs on military bases, he lived in Conn for over 9months twice, did jobs in Boston, Plum Island, Pensacola, Arizona, Ohio, Seattle and southern and northern Indiana. I was a working widow. He did what he had to do to support his family and I had to do what I had to do to support him AND our family. Every other week we drove to Indy to pick him up at the airport, and drive him back sometimes we would be to Indy and back (140miles round trip) before I dropped the kids off at school and went to work at 8am. I had to do it all, bills, sports, school, shop, clean house, do laundry all while holding down a full time job as a nurse. I didn't like it but, I did it because I was and still am totally and completely in love with my husband. I dig him, our kids and our marriage. We have been together for almost 30 years (since I was 16) The point I want to make is that until he left I didn't know that I could do all that stuff. I knew we could do it together but seperately it's a whole different ball game, even for him. You learn how to stand on your own and appreciate it all the more for it. You know deep down that you are capable of doing it, you just hope that you don't have to. Believe me when I say that he is feeling the same way, he's always had someone doing for him ---cleaning , laundry, cooking, company in general. In the end when it is all said and done the pride, self respect, mostly the confidence that you both will gain is so worth all the pain. Just hang in there everybody -----things will get better, adjustment is hard on everyone ---Monica there is an old saying that goes "you only hurt the ones you love" if the love wasn't there it would hurt so badly. I know you probably don't want to hear this but .....his family is probably hurting just as bad as you, and they see you as the one to take it out on, stay strong and positive and know that we are praying for all the moms, gf,, fiances of all of our sailors---------happy ending to my story, I seen an ad in our local newpaper for a maintenance person for our local school system I helped him type up a resume and mailed it in ---I mean who wouldn't hire a guy with national security clearence. 2 interviews later he got the job, took a huge cut in pay and is home every night, he thanked me for taking care of his family while he was gone, he appreciated us so much more than the average Joe. Every thing will work out, just give it time.---------------thanks for therapy!!!!!!!

Comment by Lynne on November 16, 2010 at 10:04pm

Now I am not trying to be rude...but Ashley did you change your name...or have you just decided to start chatting...becuase I am soooooo confused...lol...of course you all know that is a perpetual state of mind for me...lol

Comment by Kat (MM Nuke) on November 16, 2010 at 10:00pm

Thanks Ashley. that is exactly what I told him, I am here for you and vent away, just be sure not to take it out on me, so to speak.
Do a google search for religious medallions for the Navy.
He said that is what he did and the St. Brendan came up, but I also found others. he said he doesn't care really which one, just wants one that represents his faith and the Navy. I really liked the military religious medallions that I came across too. The Navy one was very nice.
The prices are all over the place, but I'm thinking sterling silver would go on their neck chains just fine.

Comment by Lynne on November 16, 2010 at 9:58pm

You know folks we could close this group up now...and make it private...the chances that any new folks are going to join us are minimal...and if they do all I have to do is vet them and approve them for membership...what do you think>>>

Comment by Ashley122209 on November 16, 2010 at 9:56pm

Kat- Where would we find out what type of religious medallion is for the navy and where would we purchase them at? Just keep reassuring your son, thats what i am doing with my husband and although doing so helps more on some days then others as long as they push themselves and believe in themselves they will do amazing with everything! and i honestly do believe that the lashing out and insecurities with EVERYTHING is what every sailor is going through, but we do have to stay strong and although let them know they can't lash out at us but that we are still here for them to vent... I know i let my husband vent and lash out but at the end he makes sure he appoligizes, even though i know he doesn't mean anything towards me=] just make sure you dont let them put up any boundries bc their affraid to lash out and hurt your feelings( sorry if this doesn't make sense)

Comment by Lynne on November 16, 2010 at 9:56pm

Oh Monica...welcome to the family....lol

Comment by Ashley122209 on November 16, 2010 at 9:49pm

haha monica this weekend and thanksgiving i can't be 100% pos,. you'll want us in your spare bedroom =P, I know their going to have with drawl from each other =[ but we'll be 2 mins away! lol dont get me started on the electric haha

Comment by Kat (MM Nuke) on November 16, 2010 at 9:32pm

Omg Lynne, I am glad that you mentioned that you have had to remind your son that you are not the enemy and all. I had that situation with my son yesterday. He's in South Carolina at Nuke school and I think yesterday it finally hit him when they had some briefings just what is ahead and he lashed out at me, but then I found out that he was stressed and was just worried about what is to come and if he will be able to perform up to par. I too had to remind him that I am here for him, but that I don't deserve certain attitudes and that I understand what he is going through right now, especially after having a long of freedoms during the last week with the holiday and Thursday and the weekend off. It's good to know I'm not alone on that too.

I was just mentioning to the Nuke moms that my son sent me a message tonight with an idea for a Christmas gift for him. Just in case anyone is interested or thinking along those lines. He wants a St. Brendan Medallion to put on his chain with his dog tags. I guess St. Brendan is one of the patron saints for the Navy. I also found that there is a religious medallion for each branch of the military. Just FYI.

Comment by Andysmom on November 16, 2010 at 9:28pm

Be careful....This site is open to the public for viewing. I'd hate for someone to see something that wasn't meant for them to see. I'm kinda enjoying it...lol.

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