Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Hey meagan nice name ;) and spelling lol

but honestly you just make yourself stop thinking about stuff like that. Its your decision to change your way of thinking. If you can't do it you will drive yourself crazy and cause issues in your relationship that aren't there. So in your mind you make the decision to not allow yourself to continue to think like that. Yeah its hard but one thing I suggest to other girls is googling the five love languages and taking the test to find out what your love language is. For a lot of girls its verbal and they have issues with not hearing they are loved as much as they need. If thats the case maybe have your bf record a message or leave a voicemail for you letting you know how much he loves you, that way when you are having a hard time you can listen to it if you cant get in touch with him. But the biggest issue is you allow yourself to think that way and you allow those fears to flourish and feed them. Distract yourself when you start thinking like that.

Hello Ladies-Happy New Year!

Ive been able to connect with moms that have loved ones either in my husband's division or just have the same PIR but havent connected with any wives,fiances,gf's etc...

Anyone Ship 14 div 073 or PIR 1/25/13?

Hello everyone!

I received my first Navy deposit on the 29th and wanted to know if there was anywhere I could maybe log on to see the break-down of what was deposited? Like a stub or will I get a stub in the mail or something?

We had something called MyPay when I was in the Army. I think your sailor should have that info for you if you wanted to log in and check it.

mypay.dfas.mil

Thanks! I'll be sure to request the info in my next letter...he's in BC =0)

@Mysailorscoop- Pay statements (called LES for Leave and Earnings Statement) can be found on the MyPay website  https://mypay.dfas.mil/mypay.aspx but your Sailor will have to establish access to MyPay.You can still go to the MyPay site to get information about how it works; the FAQs tab is pretty helpful. 

He can create a limited access account for you to see his pay statements and tax info, but it will not allow you to make any changes to his account.  Until your Sailor provides you with this access (and I don't know how easy that is for them to set up during boot camp), you will not be able to see his LES.

Another example of having to wait on the military...but congrats on successfully get paid! 

Thx for all the info beachmom!! 

Im happy just to have received payment so it can wait...it was more than I expected so I just wanted to see what it was for! lol 

http://www.public.navy.mil/bupers-npc/career/payandbenefits/Pages/d...

http://militarypay.defense.gov/PAY/BASIC/

Here are a couple links that you can read that will help you better understand what you are looking at when you can finally get on mypay. You might even be able to educate your SR too :)

Something for us ladies.  It made my little heart chirp with joy which I much prefer to this lingering melancholy.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kuS88an...!

@Zach's-wife2012 

My boyfriend is finishing up boot camp and going to California for a school and his birthday is also coming up so I had the exact same question! Let me know if you get any responses please!!

This link is for the Pensacola A school if you would like to join:

http://www.navyformoms.com/group/sailorsinpensicolaflforaschool

The next link is called "Arriving in Pensacola". It will answer a lot of questions you might have about when they first get there. Hope it helps!

http://www.navyformoms.com/group/sailorsinpensicolaflforaschool/for...

He can't really give you a straight answer because he doesn't really know. You boyfriend won't even really know because they don't tell them much. Hopefully he will get a better idea of when he will phase up and have more freedom when on liberty. Check the links that I posted. They are very helpful. 

All I know is it is in San Diego and it is for above ground sonar 

He is going straight from boot camp. He graduates this Friday:)

When my husband went to A school he couldnt leave the base for the first two weeks I think it was, and that was pcola. I could go visit any time after that there were just restrictions about when he had to be back and whatnot. Please note the recruiter is mostly focused on getting people in bootcamp... they may not know all the rules and restrictions at that A school. Also, it will be different for a girlfriend/fiancee possibly than a spouse. Depending on how strict the A school is about liberty buddies. Typically they have to leave with a liberty buddy and it has to be either family, spouse, or another sailor.

There are two different bases in Pensacola, and they have different policies as far as the phases go.  Our son was at Corry and his friend from boot camp was at NAS.  Our son and his classmates phased up a lot (by at least a week or two) sooner than his buddy and his classmates.  

Plus, even at the same command, there are contributing factors that can affect how quickly they phase up.  (After our son got dropped, 5 months into CTN school, he went to Norfolk and became an IS.  They frequently had the whole class lose phase privileges there because of one or two in the class messing up.)

One thing I've learned as a Sailor, a spouse, and a mom, is that situations change so much and can change so quickly, that often, you won't be able to get a straight answer until the last minute.  It's part of that lovely "hurry up and wait" thing that leads  to one of the unofficial spouse mottos, "semper Gumby" - which means "always flexible" ;-) 

I would suggest waiting until he gets there and talks to his chain down there before planning any trips, then possibly having a late birthday celebration.  (keep in mind, odds are, even if he has phased up and can leave base then, he won't be able to stay off base - like overnight - with you that quickly, so a trip a bit later might be better anyway...)

From what I have heard if he already has orders cut they will not change them. If he is lower than E3 they cannot take dependents either way. I have heard that once they get over to Japan and get to E4 they can request command sponsorship for dependents, idk if they will pay for a move at that point or not but at the moment everything I have heard says they will not change his orders since they are already cut and he was listed as having no dependents. Especially if he has already detatched from his training command and is on the way to the first duty station. Sorry :(

Japan, that's one of the unaccompanied nightmares, so sorry to hear it.

Duty station swaps take place under very specific conditions, I'd need to look up the regulation.  Not at all impossible.

But even if you marry, you would not be going to Japan any sooner than six months to a year, and only if he's an E-4, gets your command sponsorship waiver, and extends his tour in Japan.  No, they won't pay for your move, but if he can acquire command sponsorship, you'd get the proper visa, and be eligible for housing, work on base, and other benefits.  I have an entire blog about it if you want to read it.

Sailrowifemom just came back from Japan, she can also give you many details.

Getting married before he departs will allow you to receive BAH, healthcare, etc. It will also allow him to work on your command sponsorship (which may or may not happen, but it can't happen if you are merely engaged).  One warning, they do tend to look at all marriages closely, to be sure they are not fraudulent for benefits.  Don't feel paranoid if you get some scrutiny and nay-sayers, it is happens sometimes.

In the meantime, get a passport.  You never know when you'll be able to use it.

Lacylynn- That's all my husband needed to take to his command. He wrote down some of my info he was told he'd need like height, weight, eye color, hair color, ssn, next of kin. Stuff like that. But they just took the copy of the marriage certificate and then gave us the form we needed (DD something, I can't remember the number) and we had to go to Pass and ID to enroll me in DEERs and get my mil. ID. That is the point where you'll need your birth certificate, SS card, and drivers license/government issued photo ID. 

Hope that helps. :)

@isabella - It is ok to feel that way. Find things that make you happy and do them. For me it is playing with my son, finding new healthy meals to cook and bake (so I can make it for my sailor when he is home), working out, getting crafty, playing piano, and anything else I can do to fill up my day. Some girls start a blog. I try to find some sort of inspiration every day. I still have my bad days, but not so many. It is normal to have doubts about this Navy life. Cry and let it all out. You'll feel better. I wish you the best. Here is a link to a site that has helped me change my mindset on life in general which has helped me TONS with my sailor being away:

http://www.marcandangel.com/

Hope you can find something from it too :)

Yeah, buying the rating coin before A school graduation is considered unlucky.  

Totally agree with Anti M.  They haven't "earned" the rating coin until they finish "A" school.  So hold off on that one until they do.  

For those that are going to asked, here is proper way you present your challenge coin to your sailor.  It's a military wide Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard way.

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@isabella - you are welcome! We all need it at some point, and encouraging you helped me too. :) Definitely take a look at that link. There are so many articles that give grea advice on how to look at life differently, and to make yourself feel better. I'll be praying for peace as you continue this journey. Don't be hard on yourself!

What the heck is a challenge coin? haha Did I miss the conversation on that? If someone could maybe enlighten me on that, I'd really appreciate it!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Challenge_coin

However, I have to say, no one who served in my family ever had challenge coins... they weren't common, no matter what the legend claims.  I certainly never saw one when I served, nor did anyone I served with, or my WWII dad or WWI grandfather.  Today the coins are nice collectible mementos, but the real ones now are given out or earned, never purchased.  Boot camp, their rating and paygrade,their ship or first command,  those are appropriate for gifts.

Thanks Anti M! I appreciate it. I found a little google info on them, and you answered my questions. I thought it might be a nice token or gift for my boyfriend somewhere down the road. I bought him a straight razor kit a while ago as a gift for graduating basic, and was trying to find something else for when he gets through his next leg of training. Thanks again!

Hello, It's been quite awhile since I've been on this site, but I always read the posts through my email. My husband has been in A school in Mississippi for about 2 months, with about 2 months to go. I had a chance to go visit over Christmas and it was really great to actually see the base and meet some of his school mates! It's been really hard being apart, especially lately while he is really busy with school but I've been hanging in there. I've been trying to focus on staying healthy and getting all of our stuff ready for the move. I guess I just realized that I still needed the lifeline of this site so I thought I'd say hello :)

Hello everyone!

mrs.jane.rad my husband will heading to Mississippi for A school in a few weeks...His PIR is 1/25/2013 

Im excited to visit once he's there =0)

Congratulations MYSAILORSCOOP! I really liked the base. I am hoping to make it down again before graduation. Where are you living now?

Thx! Im beyond excited...lol

I currently live in Florida =0)

I miss my fiance so much. This time in BC has made me appreciate him so much more. Coming in after 12 hours on my feet and having to cook sucks. When someone is there doing it for you, you dont realize how good you have it. I write him in letters and told him how much I appreciate him. Between cooking, feeding the pets... man I miss my SR!!! Even though after boot camp he will not be back home because of A school just being able to speak to him or text will make me feel so much better!

Just needed to express :)

I'm hoping someone can help with this question, I can't seem to get a straight answer out of my DMV.  We are legal IL residents (own a home in IL which is currently being rented) and our cars are registered in IL, along with insurance and our driver's licenses.  We want to buy a new car here in California because we need something bigger for the trip home.  A Civic and a Focus means we have to drive both cars because the dogs and kids won't all fit in the backseat.  So, we can't wait to buy until we get back to IL.  Here are my questions:

Can we buy a car in CA and NOT register it here?  We would probably buy a new car from a dealer, not a private owner.  We called one dealer and talked to a salesman who said it couldn't be left unregistered.  Having working in the auto industry for almost 15 years between us, we know not to take that as the absolute correct answer. 

How would we go about registering the car in IL? 

Any info on this would help.  Thank you!!

I'll have to look it up exactly, and I've skimmed both DMV sites  ... the car must be registered somewhere.  You can register it in CA, then switch it easily enough when you get back to IL.   You can register it in CA without paying all the fees as non-resident military.  You can call the IL DMV and ask if you can register it in IL from CA, but I've not seen it as an option.

http://www.dmv.ca.gov/pubs/brochures/fast_facts/militaryvr.htm#mili...

Sent my first came package to him in A school! What do you guys think?

Jenn:  My son kept his residence in FL when entering the Navy in 2009, but was stationed in VA in 2010.  He bought a car from a dealer up there and told them he was going to register it in FL.  It's title, registration and insurance were all in VA.  I had POA on him, so after he sent me the papers and the new VA title in his name had arrived, I was able to take all to the tag agency here in FL and get it done.  Mailed everything back to him.

So since you own a house in IL and that is your state of residency, I would think you can do the same from CA?  The only thing I don't know is this:  I was here to do this for my son and had POA to do it.  Not sure how to do it if you are not physically in IL?  

Sorry, hope this helps and doesn't confuse more!

Hey! Just wanted to say thanks to everyone on this site and this group particularly. I always get so much information and support here, it's amazing! 

Hello everyone!

Veronica my SR graduates 1/25 and will be heading to Meridian, MS as well...no worries time flies! I cant believe Jan is almost done...March will be here in no time =0)

Alleyoop your package is adorable!!! Love it!

Hello everyone!! I have a huge question!! My husband just left for BC on January 3rd. Does anyone know when and how I can get my military ID and start insurance? I have a health condition that requires medicine everyday and I'm out right now and can't afford it without insurance. Will I have to wait until he's out of BC or can I go to the nearest base and right now? I keep getting different answers from other people and I HAVE to have my medicine. Also, my son isn't his so can my son still be covered under his insurance? Thanks in advance :)

I know Anti M will correct me if I'm wrong on this. 

But if your husband got to BC over a week ago, you SHOULD be in the DEERs system by now. Assuming he had all your information and documentation he needed with him. 

Once you're in the DEERs system, you're covered medically automatically by Tricare Standard. Any medical bills you have should be covered by Tricare from the date you're enrolled in DEERs, not the date you get your ID. If that makes sense...

If you want to be on Tricare Prime, you have to sign up for that separately, and you have to wait for the paperwork until you can go get your ID.