Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

@nursekim yes.  He is purposely doing it so he can leave.  I understand hes homesick and I am receiving a letter from him today that was written last week.  I dont know what happend or whats going on in his head.  In our 2 minute call today i begged him to think about what he was doing and to stick it out.  He was crying and basically said I cant. 

Hello!  I got my form letter today, I feel like a 5 year old that got a letter from Santa.  Now I have an address and a PIR date. 

Amy - WooHoo!! That first bit of paper with just the handwritten address is enough to make a Momma's heart soar!! - As you make plans for PIR, remember to keep your reservations flexible!!

navymom57 - I am so sorry to hear this news. I wish I had more answers for you and a way to say I know how to help you get a direct line to your son - but I can't do that. BC is hard and stressful, the RDCs are yelling in your face, and I know my son said they kept asking him if he was homesick. He told me, "I wasn't homesick as much as I was afraid of doing something wrong."  My son was straight out of HS going to BC, he had a little bit of preparation for military authority and the yelling because of a leadership camp that he had been involved in for several years, but he was never in ROTC. The harshness and change of how things are handled and dealt with, even swearing can be more than some kids are ready to deal with. And yes, they are just kids - not only that, the divisions have to work together to become a team and not everyone has had the same love and caring upbringing as most of our sons or daughters have. 

I know Phoenixmom shared about how she kept encouraging her son, but we also did not have the COVID vaccine to deal with. (Which I don't know if they have done away with quarantining, but the shot is mandatory, I believe for those entering BC.) 

There is a point where you want to encourage and be supportive, but then there is also a point where you have to back off and let them know that you still love them and are proud of them, no matter what. Military life is not for everyone, but there is no shame in coming home. (Which is one of the reasons why we did not remove our son from our health insurance until after he was a sailor.) It is hard to know what is going on in their heads, their frontal lobe is not fully developed yet. 

BNMHs to you - Maybe someone else with a similar experience will have something to share. 

@Chipmunk, I bend but I do not break, so yes, the plans will be flexible.  I was excited that she was placed in a 900 division and she wrote a small note on the form letter - she wants me to stay in touch her boyfriend.  It's really funny because we have been texting, he is in A school so I have been bugging the poor young man with all my questions.

Amy, I am glad that you have learned how to be flexible!! I am glad that you also are able to be in communication with your daughter's bf. 

Awesome Amy!!

I'm so sorry to hear your son is having a hard time, NavyMom57. I hope he finds the strength to hang in there. If he ends up coming home, that's ok. BNMHs to you

NavyMom57 - I hope your son can hang in there. All the yelling (and sometimes cursing) can really get to the SRs but help him to remember that it's NOT personal. The RDCs break you down from your "old" self to build up a new self: confident, adaptable, self-reliant, steadfast and sturdy. Yeah, it's often not enjoyable, but building up a "new man" sure is rewarding. Sending up prayersfor uour son and you.

navymom57-- He may have had to quarantine.  We on here as well as FB Do not know for sure anything beyond what we are told by our sailors.  Sure we share info between each other but that's just scuttlebutt.  Refusing the Vaccine is grounds for separation either way.  Yes getting home is nearly as long as BC and much less fun.  He likely will come home via bus so be aware.  You will want to join the SEPS group to get more information from those who have been through that process.  I don't think the group here is very active but the one on FB is.  They can walk you through what to expect.
There is No shame in learning that they cannot complete Bootcamp.  Many more don't even try!  Depending on what the future brings and his discharge code there may be a chance for him to try again when he's older. 
I have a friend who was a Marine.  His son joined and only lasted 4 weeks!! He was 2 weeks longer to come home than BC would have been.  He just couldn't get past the yelling and the beat downs.  He's been home for almost 4 years and is so much happier with his life now.  He said he was glad he tried and he felt ashamed at first but once he got home and every one treated him kindly and he figured out what he really wanted to do (Still be an electrician, just not in the Navy) and that there was still a path to his chosen career (He's a major tinkerer) he just got happier than I'd seen him in years!  No matter what, Remind your Son that you Love him and you support his choice and you got his back.  He'll get it figured out even though right now his plans and path may not look so clear and he'll need you to still be his cheering section even if he falls from time to time!!

Amy -- YEA!!!! Those form letters don't say much but they speak volumes!!! Be sure to go up on this page to the highlighted articles and read up on the 900 Divs!! This likely means you MAY get to see your SR at the 2 PIRS before hers! Of course that will all depend on what job she has in the Div.

navymom57, I look up to this young man for realizing "this is not for me". It takes alot of guts to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. BC is not for everyone, I know I wouldn't of made it through day one. He sounds like a sensitive kid, what a wonderful trait to have but not made for the military. There are wonderful careers out there that require empathy for others. I am holding your son up in Prayer that he is able to see himself through God's eyes, perfectly made for a different path. Prayers to you as you support him through his decision!

Thank you everyone!

navymom57 - You are welcome! Please keep sharing and keep us up to date. 

How awesome for the call.. I'm happy for you.. I remember getting that first real call too.. happy tears.. glad he is doing well.

Q'sMomma, that's fantastic, so happy for you. There voices bring so much joy especially when you get such a positive phone call. Your head will be in the clouds for a while, hope it last till the next one, congratulations!

navymom57 - I think others said it much better than I could, but I'm also thinking of you. Our older son spent h.s. with the plan to pursue Navy ROTC and an engineering major. Even nominated for the Naval Academy. First day he absolutely hated ROTC, I told him to buck up, couldn't quit after first day. Everything new and different is tough yadda yadda yadda. I couldn't figure out how he could want something so much for so long and decide so quickly it was not for him. He ended up quitting ROTC and changing schools. I think he had a huge sense of failure for a long time and I feel badly not seeing that more clearly. He eventually switched majors and is currently working his masters. He has a passion for teaching and coaching we never glimpsed before. Our kids need him in that role more than our military needed him. There is a path out there for all of us and how differently we are wired. If he decides this is really not for him, then trust that he knows his heart.  I can only imagine they don't make it easy for them to quit. He may come home feeling battered. Whether he stays in or leaves it won't be easy, but you'll know how best to boost him up. Hugs for you both!

Good Morning  / Afternoon everyone!!

Just a friendly reminder -

Until you receive your SRs form letter with their address on it, there is no guarantee that any other address you have, say from a recruiter, is going to be correct and mail will be delivered to them faster, either from USPS or Sandboxx. 

(The only exception might be if your SR calls and gives you their Div # & Ship #, but it still may not mail right away - We did have to rely on this through COVID because of so much lost mail.) 

Each Division has to train a Mail Room Recruit Petty Officer to deal with the mail. Until that is accomplished all incoming mail is held to the best of my knowledge. I believe BelovedbyHim has shared that the Sandboxx App letters are even set aside in the early stage if there is not a RPO to pick up the mail and those are the last ones sorted. 

Once you receive the form letter & address then using either Regular or Sandboxx should work. I knew nothing about Sandboxx but my son received more mail than he could keep up with, between my letters and those from other friends. They do not have a lot of space to store letters. The Sandboxx letters arrive at RTC faster, but still have to be distributed by the Mail Room RPO. 

Remember: Sandboxx is likely writing a postcard!! It is visible to anyone that handles it. So, stay OPSEC / PERSEC mindful, do not share dates, or private messages. 

And when your sailor is out in the fleet do not use Sandboxx. 

Hi Ladies. Been a little MIA this weekend - was trying to soak up every second I could with my son. We said goodbye at the hotel last night. It was (and is) beyond hard. I'm so proud of him - but my momma heart hurts so bad.  He's been through meps and now has 3 hours before he boards his flight.  I'm praying these 10 weeks fly by (for him and for us!)  So not ready to let go even though I know it's time. Thanks for listening. I know you all get it.  

navymom57  praying for your son. He will find his path! 

WE GOT MAIL!!!

His forms have arrived.  ship 7 div 299

this means he has passed his initial PFA, right?  that is what i was worried about.

oh this mama heart so happy and instantly in tears just seeing his handwriting.  I wanna send a quick Sandbox to let him know his mail is coming!  I cant seem to find out how to fill out the address...I'm sure that I am just missing it cuz I'm a hot excited mess right now.  But they did have his information correct.

JNMnavymomOH  so excited for you!!!! 

I was so excited this morning to see that my son's form letter was coming in the mail today! (USPS informed delivery is the best! I mailed off 5 envelopes to him on my way to work this morning.

I had my son open it on FaceTime with me while I was at work. I was absolutely heartbroken to see that he had written on the inside of the flap "If you get this sooner than expected, I maybe coming home for good. There will be explanations. But I'm struggling" On the outside on the back he wrote "Make sure Grace comes, I really want her there" (the GF) so I was not expecting the inside note. 

I contacted his recruiter and he said that if it was something bad then I would have received a phone call by now. 

I have the best co-workers, they were telling me it's probably just homesickness and he's struggling with being away from everyone he loves and not having us to contact. He's 18 (19 next month) and has always checked in with me...because he wanted to, even when he was away with his GF for the weekend after the prom. 

I'm ok. I know there's nothing I can do but wait. I sent a long Sandboxx letter tonight giving him lots of love and encouragement. 

His is Ship 03, DIV 939. PIR is September 16. I'm so excitd he's in a 900 division. I can't to hear what he is doing. 

There are only 3 people allowed at his PIR. I put me, his brother, and his dad. It's been a rocky last 5 years with his dad, but I'm hoping my SR doesn't cross him off the list. 

I still want his GF to come and we can get her after graduation and we will at least have the day with him (He will to go San Antonio for A school). That will be ok, right? I read that she can watch the PIR from the national museum of the American Sailor. We can get her after and have the day (I will be renting a car).

I have a lot to say in this post. So many emotions. thanks for any words of encouragement xo

nursekim, keep your chin up. I don't  know how long after the get there that they fill out the form letter but those first few weeks are so discouraging for them. According to their commander's there isn't anything they can do right and they are constantly being torn down no matter how hard they try.  I can't imagine their state of mind at the time.  Things will get much better, remember they do things as a division- one does something wrong they all are punished for it. You are responsible if your bunkmate didn't make his bed right. They are trying to get them to work as a well oiled team. Good job writing him right away to help encourage him, the next time you hear from him things will be much better. Good thing they don't let their moms there, can you imagine a couple hundred angry mama bears glaring down those commanders ready to tear them to shreds. 

NurseKim:  the first letter is always rough. I think the first two I received were that way. After that, they have made friends and they get into the routine. Keep the letters going. I sent one every day. Just because I had a bunch saved up to send. He said the recruits will reread their letters at night in their racks to feel connected to home. And the recruiter is right, if there was something serious/big going on, you would receive a phone call.  Any changes in training timetables will come with a phone call from your SR. BNMHs. 

Tammybikerunfaithlove - BNMHs and prayers for you!!

navymom57 - thinking about you and your son - Hopefully you will hear more soon. 

JNMnavymomOH - Woo Hoo!! Yes, the form letter is not sent out until they pass their initial fitness test. 

Nursekim - BNMHs as well. I do not know if they have the live PIR viewing still where you mentioned. Some things they shut down during Covid and never reopened. That said, some of the motels will provide a viewing or you might be able to use the internet and watch the live stream on a laptop. 

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

PIR JULY 2022

Nursekim, I know that the Springhill Suites still does the viewing live, be sure to ask when you make your motel reservations! Many have shuttles that will take you to the ceremony also.

Nurskim,  BNMHs to you! Praying your next letters have a different tone. I agree with the others - no news/no call is good news.  

I got my "I'm here" call last night. I knew it would be short. Despite the chaos and screaming in the background, he actually sounded upbeat. I know the days and weeks ahead will be hard, but it made me feel good that he is starting off strong. 

Northwoodsmom your comment made me chuckle "angry bear mamas" - oh my goodness. While I know all of this will be good for my boy and help shape him into a man, that mama bear part of me soooo wants to go up there and scream at the commanders! ;)  We could probably make THEM cry! LOL 

Have a blessed day all! Hopefully today I'll actually be able to focus and be productive - yesterday was a joke - far too consumed with thinking about my boy and tracking his journey from Portland ME to GL. 

you bet we could make them cry lol...  big hugs to all of you on this BC part of the journey.. you got this and we'll help

Thank you all for the encouraging messages.  It means so much!

May all of us have a restful peaceful night as we send love and prayers forth over our loved ones!

Good Morning Everyone!!

Please join me in welcoming two of our newest members   Chrissie336 & JproEastMama

My apologies if I have missed anyone recently. This is the place to come post and share. The more you ask and post, the more we will reply. Also, be sure to go to the bottom of the comments and read back through a few pages. 

There is also a wealth of information in the area above. Including in the discussions - Here is the link to one that will help you navigate this site & make friends.

Private Messages - Creating & Sending + OPSEC

Here are links to some of the past discussions which are not in the queue above, other commonly referred to posts and RTC - Recruit Training Center: (blue letters are hyperlinks)

Viewing N4M on Mobile Devices

Questionnaires - be sure to scroll down to the replies and click on the new formats - There are a lot of various options shared in this discussion. 

OPSEC guidelines - if you read the first part of the post that was for well over a year ago - so not relevant to our recent comments - but go to the replies and more links are shared to other information to help you understand all of this maybe a little more clearly. - in addition to: Navy Operations Security (OPSEC) checklist

Sandboxx App for BC

RED Fridays

Blue Candle

What PIR weekend may be like for those flying out of GL

RTC Bootcamp website - This was my go-to when my son was in BC as I did not know about N4M until a week before PIR.

RTC - FAQ - click on contacting recruits for ship addresses as well as lots of other information.

Welcome Chrissie336 and JproEastMama, you came to the right place, these Mama's will help encourage you, be a listening ear and provide a endless trough of information. Their friendship and compassion will help ease the fear, anxiety, and confussion of the unknown. Please come introduce your selves and let us know if there is anything we can help with!

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

PIR JULY 2022

Welcome Chrissie336 and JproEastMamma!! I'm pretty  new to the group myself. My son just arrived at BC on Monday this week. Reviewing all the info put together here has been incredibly helpful with all of the unknowns. And the support here is incredible. No one prepares you for just how hard it is to let go.  Miss my boy like crazy  - but so stinkin proud of him. 

For whoever needs to hear this today:  You have survived 100% of your worst days, this too shall pass.

tammybikerunfaithlove -- I know right now it feels like BC will last forever and that you just don't know when you'll ever feel like yourself again, but I promise.... There will come a day when you will look back and see how far you've come and how easy those days of BC was!  It's not because any of this ever gets easier but because you will get stronger!! And if it brings you any comfort, just know that right now you know exactly where your child is, More or less Exactly what they are doing and that they have food, shelter and medical care as needed!! Once they get in the fleet... They are turned loose to be "Adults"!!!! (That's way more scary than Any RDC in My opinion!!)

Thank you all for your welcoming words of support for us newbies! I’m going to be leaning on you all over the next 10 weeks, for sure ❤️

JNMnavymomOH -- YES!! Letters are the BEST!!!  You are correct about the form letter and the PFA!  You are on your way!

nursekim-- YEA!! For the letters!!  If ANYTHING bad is happening you will be contacted! It may not be as quick as we hope but it WILL be faster than snail mail to home!! Do NOT let that note worry you. 
As for GF- I'd call first.  I do not believe they were still allowing folks to view PIR from there.  That may have Changed but I do know that most hotels in the area had a viewing and she can 100% watch it from the room via the livestream! Your Sailor actually gets to pick who the 3 are but yes, letting him know you have Brother, you and Dad is a good idea.
Not to be a Debbie Downer but BC is hard on young love.  Encourage them both but just be aware that Boot Camp Breakups do happen.  I just share for it to be another reason to have dad on the guest list.

Northwoodsmom -- I suspect they could and would take on the hordes of Momma Bears!! Those RDC's are tough!  And it's because of them that our kids are trained well!

Amy -- AMEN!! You are spot on with that bit of advice!!

belovedbyHim thank you.... it does feel hard - but you're right - I know it will be even harder when he's deployed somewhere. One day a time.  

To add a little humor, someone posted this on a facebook group I'm in for Navy Bootcamp....  "This too shall pass, it will pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass"  LOL  - needed that chuckle this morning - so hopefully someone here can enjoy it too! 

Have a blessed day all of you. Praying for our sailors and for all of us moms! BNMHs :) 

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

PIR JULY 2022

Good afternoon / evening everyone - it is a busy day for me. 

If you did not see the new post in the discussion above by NavyMomOmaha here is the link or look above - Boot Camp Day 3

Chrissie336 & JproEastMama - -hi Moms! Glad you could join us! If you never ask a question but read lots of posts...or if you ask LOTS of questions  AND read lots of posts, either one is fine. Somebody here among us will have an answer, or we'll help you find someone who does. NO question is silly and no emotion is unimportant. We've all been there: the crying, the depression, the fretting, the uncertainty, the WAITING. But it's all good because we'll help you get thru to the other side...PIR and being so proud of your kid your heart will feel like its about to burst!

And I've got my RED on too!

Here's the link to today's PIR - happening now.

LIVE PIR JULY 15

I have my RED on!! Last week my son's ship was out to sea and so I wore my shirt from his ship FRG (Family Readiness Group) fundraiser. This week, I have my RED Mom shirt on. 

Wear RED on Fridays

Chrisie336 - You are welcome!!

NavyMomOmaha & Danamom - Welcome to the group, we are glad you have joined us!

Q'sMomma - I know you had a "real" phone call from your son. Have you received any letters yet? 

Navymom57 - How are you doing? Have you heard more from your son? Are you able to make connections in any other groups?