Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

Chipmunk..thank you for your help...questions found and downloaded xoxo

I did not realize how valuable the calling cards were when I volunteer at the USO...now I know!

Rebecca  I read your long post and fully support your feelings about your son.  I would follow the advice to "clean out" your facebook group.  You need positive people in your life!  

Rebecca, I don't post anything about my feelings on Facebook unless it is to a Navy Mom. I am so grateful for these sites and the  ability to join with other compassionate kind Moms that understand exactly all the emotions we are going through!

Rebecca -- OH MY!!! NO  YOU ARE NOT WRONG!!!!!! Please go back and read that again!!!  YOU ARE NOT WRONG!!!!!  I seriously want to Smack some of these people!!! It doesn't matter that you are proud or that he's not in the Marines or Army -- What does that have to do with anything??!!! (They have more communications than Navy in BC)  Electronic Communications have made our lives easier but how many of these "People" have had their child leave and had NO Communications at all with them??  College, you can pick up the phone and call, or go see them so those moms need to be quiet or supportive.  Other Military moms....They should be supporting you not tearing you down!

I just wanted to encourage you all! It's normal to have ALL the feelings!! When my Sailor left I was a HOT MESS!! He had gone to MEPS a year before and was in DEP his entire Senior Year so it wasn't like I didn't know it was coming but when the time came I just melted down! I couldn't stop crying when we took him out to dinner the night before. My DH Found this site and I DEVOURED everything I could find. The ladies were AMAZING and they were the ones who let me know I could go to MEPS and see him swear in and go to the Airport to wait till he flew out. They told me what milestones to look for and that NO News was Good news. They also showed me that it's ok to not be ok with this path your kid has chosen but that WE (parents) Don't get to make the choice. My DH was Navy when we got married and I understood the lifestyle and the emotions that went with that too and that was part of why I didn't want my kids to serve. 
One day I just needed to get it out! The KIB (Kid In a Box-- All the stuff they took to BC-- They don't do this anymore) Had arrived but there was no letter, no phone call and no communications. So I went to his room, put his Senior Picture on his bed and LET IT GO!!! I Yelled, I Cried, I Beat the bed, I Punched the Pillows, I said ugly things and fearful things and Loving things..... What I forgot was to make sure the house was empty... After a while I looked up and my Dear Husband (DH) was standing in the door with our shaking pup... He asked if he needed to call someone to get me some help! I Burst out laughing!! It was cathartic and I felt a million times better for having said out loud all the things that had been running through my head but my poor husband, pup and youngest were sure I had just had a complete mental break from reality and they were concerned! If you choose this route (I Do Recommend it!!) Just make sure you warn your loved ones or better still make sure you are alone!
We are 9 years in with at least 3 more to go. He's planning to go career (20 years) so I expect many more years. It's not always Sunshine and roses. It was Brutal that his first duty station was overseas but on the positive side it motivated us to go to Italy! He has made stupid choices that had real consequences but he has learned and matured from them. He has cried about being lonely and he has had times when he struggled to make friends but overall the Navy has been good for him and he has finally figured out how to keep those friends even when they are time zones apart. (Covid was a positive in that respect!)

It's ok to not be sure how you feel right now. Just know that this is a Safe place to express all those feelings whatever they may be! We will not judge or reject anyone. We are here to help you navigate the Navy waters!! If you need a safe Harbor we will be that! IF you need someone to help you chart your course, we are here for that too! If you are lost in a storm of emotions, We will light your way to calmer waters!! And if you just need an Anchor to hold fast to we are here for that too!!
We haven't lost a mom to Boot Camp yet, we aren't going to start with any of You!!

Oh and I forgot to add that my sailor left for Bootcamp the day before his brother's birthday! That was a really crappy day for my youngest!!

MomofJoseph -- I remember that photo and when you first came and shared!!! You were so excited!!

MomofJoseph - BelovedbyHim beat me to it, but I was going to say the same thing!! I was checking my messages in my email feed and I saw your picture, and I thought - "I remember when you posted that!!!" 

I am jumping in without reading all of the comments, but we are family here, and this is your training ground and where you learn the ropes, and what it is like to be a Navy Mom or loved one. We are here to help you and encourage you - not every place on the internet is the same way. 

Shebamom - I am glad to hear that things are going well for your SR and you are gaining your Navy Mom sea legs!!

Rebecca - People post comments like they do, because they really don't have any way to relate and they don't stop to think or evaluate their comments. (I finally had a chance to read all the way through your post.) 

I remember coming back from PIR and sharing my son's BC picture with a friend of mine. I was at a group situation for my youngest son and another mom came and looked over my shoulder and said, "it is such a shame that we send our young people off to the military.!" - Needless to say, I came crawling back to this group with my head down and may "tail" between my legs!  - How could someone have said that to me?  The ladies all reaffirmed me and reminded me that most people just don't understand. 

My son graduated HS in May, and left for BC a month later on his father's birthday. I reacted a lot differently with my son leaving, because I expected him to be coming back home in 6 years and we would pick up where we left off. That is so not true. - It was sort of for my two older girls who had gone off to college, they both came back home and lived for a year at home. Needless to say, after 6 years and my son completing his enlistment period, as much as he wants to come home, he is also now married and his sailor gal has her own enlistment orders. So, my son is still gone and this time it hit me a lot harder than it did when he first left home. 

As B'sNukeMom shares, - It doesn't get easier, but we get stronger!!

And Partyofseven is not on as much but she would often share about those darn "Navy allergies!"  We all have them and you are not alone. 

Shebamom-

Countdown till the 11! It's about 10 days!

Hng in there!

Good morning all! I hope everyone is doing well. I'm still struggling. My son arrived in Chicago Tuesday night. Trying to think positive.  I was curious for the Sandboxx app, when and how is our recruit added? Is the app recommended? Thank you

G'sNukeMom - here's my discussion on the Sandboxx app.

Sandboxx app while in BC

Reminder - only to be used while in Boot Camp!

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2023

 PIR AUGUST 2023

 PIR JULY 2023

Good Morning Everyone!! Lots of information in the section above, in the pages to the upper right - be sure to select View all and the info on the left as well.

If you are using a mobile device, you may want to put it into desktop mode!! This site is old school, set up by the Navy for us mom so we had a place to ask questions and find answers. 

Please join me in welcoming ZoeTheWriter to our group!

ZoeTheWriter - This is the comment wall area that I mentioned on your profile page and the best place to come at least say hello. 

G'sNukeMom - be sure to click on the blue letters which is a link to a post about the Sandboxx App which B'sNukeMom shared. It is my understanding that the SRs (seaman recruits) have to sign up for their families to be notified of their mailing address and the form letter through the Sandboxx App. All of this has changed from when my son was in BC, but as I recall, even then it took 2-3 weeks before we had an address to be able to start mailing letters. But you can always write and send when you do get your address. 

To mail letters by Sandboxx App there is a fee that is more than USPS first class postage - FYI

ZoeTheWriter, welcome. Lots of information here to help with your journey

Good Morning Everyone, I may have too  much time on my hands at work today!  I have been all over the internet and have so many questions.

My son leaves August 22 I am excited and scared, but overall very proud of him.

 B'sNukeMoM I read your discussion on the Sandboxx and it feels good and bad, thank you for the information.

I have read that we are allowed to go with him to MEPs the day he leaves for BC, is this true?  He said they swore him in when he passed the asvab and selected his Rate but now I am hearing there is a second one that I can see.  Can anyone confirm this?

Thank you

Anxious Danielle :)

Eds Mom Danielle- Yes they just started in our area the week my son left, we got lucky. Your recruiter should give you the details on when to be there. 

Sandra

How do I join the pir group for my recruit who leaves for RTC on 7-24-2023

Happynurse - I see you joined the September group.  And you could be either September or October.....

Sandra

Thank you! Let's see if Long Island is up to speed with this...fingers crossed!!

Eds Mom Danielle -- Yes, they will swear in again at MEPS before they leave for Great Lakes.  It's up to your local MEPS office as to if they will allow you to be there (Post- COVID rules/world.)  ASK!! That is the only way to know 100%. You can call the office or ask the recruiter.
Yes, they did swear an oath when they went this first time and selected his rate but he was in DEP so it was easier to "break" that oath.  I don't understand the reasoning but I have learned that the Navy doesn't have to have a reason for what they do!!

G'sNukeMom -- Breathe!!!! Exhale!!! Repeat.... and again.... I know this is such a hard time and your feelings are normal.  You are not alone in this.
B's provided a great link to information on Sandboxx.  It's 100% up to you if you want to use them to send the letters.  We suggest that folks encourage their SR to send the address using Sandboxx but you DO NOT need to reply that way unless you want to, can afford to, or there is a compelling reason to get word to your SR quickly! (Injury, they want to quit/homesick....).  Just keep in mind that a single letter can be quite a bit more than snail mail.  During the first 3-4ish weeks those letters are not necessarily getting delivered to them because they still need to train a Recruit Mail Petty Officer to distribute the mail.  

Happynurse -- You need to wait till your SR arrives at BC and you KNOW the PIR date to join your PIR group.  There are good ideas of when that may be but there are things that can happen to change that so patience is a critical skill to learn during this time.  It's not easy, not knowing but one of the things the Navy teaches is that our crystal balls no longer work and the Navy can and does change things on a dime!  I'm not faulting you for asking, but just trying to give you some information that will help.

Yes I understand that the date may change for a myriad of reasons.  I just want a peek into the future.

Good Morning - 

Some FYI - Sandboxx App - Keep in mind when you send information via Sandboxx - several eyes will read what you wrote before it is transmitted in a written format and delivered to your SR. It is like writing a postcard, anyone can read it and so it is not OPSEC! - which is why we say only use in BC and only send words of encouragement or appropriate pictures. Do not share anything personal in Sandboxx App. 

PIR Groups - There is nothing fancy or special about the PIR groups. No "peek into the future" so to speak. The primary purpose for these groups is to be able to ask more specific questions regarding Battlestations (Dates of which are NOT to be posted on this open public page), and to make connections with others who may be attending Sarge's Meet in Greet or your specific PIR. Prior to COVID we had groups for each PIR date, now it has been changed to monthly. It is set up by one of the Administrators on this site, and they moderate them and also approve you to join. The groups are also not formed until the RTC has posted all of the TG (training groups) for that month. 

We encourage you to join your PIR group, but because of the privacy of them, there are reasons to wait to join until you have your "form letter" with PIR dates or Division & Ship # for your SR. 

B'sNukeMom sets up most of the PIR groups and she can easily copy and paste her comment here with the links, so the rest of us let her. :-) 

Please join me in welcoming Logan's Run to our group!!

Logan's Run - This is the best place to come say hi and introduce yourself on our group page. 

HappyNurse - I appreciate your excitement and enthusiasm! 

It is actually good to see so many of you posting, asking questions and encouraging each other. It always seems that there is something about our summer recruits that we have a lot more chatter here, so please keep it up!! 

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2023

 PIR AUGUST 2023

 PIR JULY 2023

Today's PIR happening live now:

LIVE PIR JULY 21. 2023

Hi to all the Navy moms (fam&friends) out there; happy to have this forum to help navigate me through it all. My son just completed his first week. I'm proud, excited, missing him, and completely anxious about the entire process. I'm not sure how much info I can give about myself or my son, but we are from a military family and active in the veteran world. Need to read through all the rules about posting again and learn how this site works. Bear with me as I learn ;)

Logan's Run - Welcome!! Here is our guideline information again. You should also be able to locate it in your welcome Aboard message. 

Make sure to read our Community Guidelines and this Navy Operations Security (OPSEC) checklist - loose lips sink ships!

The main thing to remember is that this group page and many others on this site are visible to the public. 

I recommend anyone on this site to double check your profile settings and also try viewing the BC Mom Group page without actually logging in, because then you can click and see what you are able to see about yourself, as if you were someone else viewing this site. 

This discussion of mine might also be helpful. Private Messages - Creating & Sending + OPSEC

I just wanted to say a huge thank you to those of you who read my long post the other day and responded.  It helped more than you may ever know.  Doing better today.  Still no letter, but I know I'm not alone in that or in how I feel, so it helps.  Thank you all again!  You are amazing!  

@G'sNukeMom the first few days after my son left were (and still are) a complete blur.  He's now been in bootcamp a little over four weeks.  The tears still come some times.  For me, I just let them out, breathe, and remind myself that I can get through this.  I've been assured by many here that the feelings are normal. It hurts and it's hard.  No doubt.  I write to my son daily, which helps me.  I'd like to think it helps him, too.  Sending good and strong thoughts your way! We can do this!  

Rebecca - We are glad to help and I am glad that we offered you some encouragement!

If your sailor will fly out of GL to their A school at another destination, you might find this discussion helpful - What PIR weekend may be like for those flying out of GL - Navy For ...

Logan's Run -- (great movie by the way.... There is no Sanctuary...)  This is your place to learn.  If you post something that you shouldn't one of us (Most likely Chipmunk, B's or myself) will message you to let you know so you can either take it down and repost without the "Forbidden" content or if they are an Admin they can edit it for you.  (For whatever reason the Edit feature quit working and was never repaired.)
The TLDR---
No last names (George = ok, George Washington= Not ok). 
No Specific locations. ( DC area = ok, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave = not ok).
No Specific Dates.  (This week = ok. Tuesday = not ok. In Aug = ok , Aug 14th = Not ok.) 
Be careful about your SR's rating as well.  If they are SPEC OPS -- DO NOT POST THAT!!! It's ok to give other general ratings... Nuke, Air, Machinist Mate, SeaBee.... but be careful about being too detailed on the main pages.  Keep that for closed groups like your PIR group or Rate Specific pages. 
When in doubt... Ask!! We are happy to reply here or in Messages on our pages. 
Again this is Bootcamp for you too so be kind to yourselves.  We won't yell at you or make you do pushups like the RDC's do to our kids...
We are Much nicer than that!!

Rebecca -- It doesn't get easier but you do get stronger!!! Just remember to take it day by day, hour by hour or Minute by minute!! We are here and we do get it.  So often civilian friends mean well but they just don't know how to relate.  (As is often the case with so many things!!) They bumble and stumble and make a huge mess when they may have been trying to encourage or comfort.  You KNOW them best and you may be able to discern the intent behind it.  Sometimes it helps to look at it from another perspective.  Take a Divorce for example.  I don't know what that feels like so I may say things like "Well, You are better off without them" or "Maybe you'll find love again." Those things are neither intended to hurt them or meant with malice against either party but are feeble attempts to comfort or relate.  They do NOT do that!! The best response is a listening ear and maybe "I'm sorry for this hard time. What do you need from me?"  
No, sending our kids off to any Military Boot Camp isn't the same as sending them off to College!! It is very unlikely that in College they could be asked to go into harms way willingly!! That is the reality of what our kids signed us up for.  We cannot pick up the phone or just on Messaging and reach them.  We are at the Mercy of politicians and the Military machine.  It is a whole other world that thankfully and hopefully 95% of the US population will never know.  (First responders are part of that 5%) This is the life our kids wanted and we are proud but we are also humbly aware that it is so different that it hurts to have those precious pieces of our hearts walking this path.  No... It just never gets easier, but you DO get stronger!! One day you will wake up and realize you didn't cry all night, then you'll have a day that almost feels "normal", then one day you realize you don't feel so heavy, you are happy again (Or excited), then there will come a time when you go a whole day without feeling that ache of missing them, heck you may just have a day where you don't "think" about them at all (as in dwell on them), Soon you will adjust to the rhythms of the Navy life, just like our Sailors at sea adjust to the rhythms of the ocean as it rises and falls.... and One day, with any luck and God's blessings you will look back and Shine your light to guide those who are coming behind and navigating these unknown to them waters!! You will be the one Charting a path to safe harbors and relishing in your Strong steady role as a Navy Mom!!

Shebamom - Business Dress, Casual, Comfortable. - You will be sitting on metal bleachers, with no cushions in a large hall with lots of people. So, I would have appropriate layers, I don't recall there being a lot of A/C when we were there in August. Wear something that you will want your picture taken with your sailor. I wore a long skirt and a solid blue blouse and tried to let my sailor know, so he could try to spot me, but alas, they can't do a lot of looking up in the stands and we ended up being high. - Also, comfortable shoes!!! You will be walking, and depending, you might have to do some waiting in line, and climbing up into the bleachers. 

If you watch one of the videos, you can see what others are wearing, and you might notice they have stands with the signs for each division so you can try your best to sit across from that division. We sat up in the upper bleachers, all the way back against the wall. However, we were not allowed to stand during the ceremony, unless others were standing. We had a good eagle eye view, but then getting down to our sailor took a lot longer and ours had to leave to go finish with paperwork, because his orders were not complete. We ended up sitting outside for a long while. I don't know if they would still allow that, but I had to deal with sitting in a long skirt. 

I wore jeans and sneakers. Was warned there would be walking/waiting/stairs(in the building to get to seats). I wore a cheshire cat tshirt and we sat at the back/top wall so hopefully he could catch sight of my shirt, he knows I love it. 

Shebamom --- Oh YEAH!!!!!  Dress in layers.  It may be chilly in the morning when you arrive and HOT by the time you get out!! Wear whatever you are comfortable in!! You will see folks in ALL manner of Dress!! From "Church Clothes" to Jeans and Sneakers!!  This is a FORMAL Military ceremony and they will be in their best uniforms but you are sitting for LONG periods on hard metal benches.  Dress for comfort.  I wore a skirt and a nice top with comfortable shoes.  My youngest wore jeans and a casual button up shirt. I had a sweater that I used to sit on.  Our PIR was Aug 31 2013.

My son's birthday is next week and he warned me not to send any correspondence wishing him a HBD, that he'd get razed or something. Is this true? lol. I certainly don't want that to happen but that seems a bit over the top. Anyone know or have sent bday wishes with no problems?

Good Morning - I have just a minute but I wanted B'sNukeMom and others to know that G'sNavyMom reached out to me with a PM and said she is having trouble being able to post on her groups and reply. She did not want to seem like she was being rude. - I know at times others have had this issue, so any suggestions would be appreciated. 

Logan's Run  - Yes, it is a real thing. You can send him a nice little note in a regular letter, but anything that might draw attention to your SR, such as cards with stickers on envelopes, B'day cards, etc. may have to be opened in front of the RDC. 

I got the post card on Friday with a little note saying my sweet boy was doing fine, he said don't worry about me. That post card was like gold to me, to finally see his words. It could hear him in my mind saying those words to me. I got a suggestion on here about having him leave a voicemail to me before he left, I listened to it today, it was the best advise I could have ever received. Hearing his voice was so wonderful, he sounded so grown up. My sweetheart is his not a man of many words, so it surprised me to hear his voicemail. He sounded so confident and grown up, I am hoping he has that same energy when I get his first call. 

Sandra

So happy for you, Sandra. That first letter/card is such a treasure. I have all of my son's BC letters (4 of them) in a lock box with all of our important documents. I read them occasionally when I start missing him more than usual. Glad he's doing well!

so glad to hear Sandra.. that first note is absolutely gold.. I'm always surprised at how grown up my son sounds and talks. Makes me proud/sad/happy.. ah.. emotional rollercoaster..