Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

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Today's PIR happening live now:

LIVE PIR JULY 21. 2023

Hi to all the Navy moms (fam&friends) out there; happy to have this forum to help navigate me through it all. My son just completed his first week. I'm proud, excited, missing him, and completely anxious about the entire process. I'm not sure how much info I can give about myself or my son, but we are from a military family and active in the veteran world. Need to read through all the rules about posting again and learn how this site works. Bear with me as I learn ;)

Logan's Run - Welcome!! Here is our guideline information again. You should also be able to locate it in your welcome Aboard message. 

Make sure to read our Community Guidelines and this Navy Operations Security (OPSEC) checklist - loose lips sink ships!

The main thing to remember is that this group page and many others on this site are visible to the public. 

I recommend anyone on this site to double check your profile settings and also try viewing the BC Mom Group page without actually logging in, because then you can click and see what you are able to see about yourself, as if you were someone else viewing this site. 

This discussion of mine might also be helpful. Private Messages - Creating & Sending + OPSEC

I just wanted to say a huge thank you to those of you who read my long post the other day and responded.  It helped more than you may ever know.  Doing better today.  Still no letter, but I know I'm not alone in that or in how I feel, so it helps.  Thank you all again!  You are amazing!  

@G'sNukeMom the first few days after my son left were (and still are) a complete blur.  He's now been in bootcamp a little over four weeks.  The tears still come some times.  For me, I just let them out, breathe, and remind myself that I can get through this.  I've been assured by many here that the feelings are normal. It hurts and it's hard.  No doubt.  I write to my son daily, which helps me.  I'd like to think it helps him, too.  Sending good and strong thoughts your way! We can do this!  

Rebecca - We are glad to help and I am glad that we offered you some encouragement!

If your sailor will fly out of GL to their A school at another destination, you might find this discussion helpful - What PIR weekend may be like for those flying out of GL - Navy For ...

Logan's Run -- (great movie by the way.... There is no Sanctuary...)  This is your place to learn.  If you post something that you shouldn't one of us (Most likely Chipmunk, B's or myself) will message you to let you know so you can either take it down and repost without the "Forbidden" content or if they are an Admin they can edit it for you.  (For whatever reason the Edit feature quit working and was never repaired.)
The TLDR---
No last names (George = ok, George Washington= Not ok). 
No Specific locations. ( DC area = ok, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave = not ok).
No Specific Dates.  (This week = ok. Tuesday = not ok. In Aug = ok , Aug 14th = Not ok.) 
Be careful about your SR's rating as well.  If they are SPEC OPS -- DO NOT POST THAT!!! It's ok to give other general ratings... Nuke, Air, Machinist Mate, SeaBee.... but be careful about being too detailed on the main pages.  Keep that for closed groups like your PIR group or Rate Specific pages. 
When in doubt... Ask!! We are happy to reply here or in Messages on our pages. 
Again this is Bootcamp for you too so be kind to yourselves.  We won't yell at you or make you do pushups like the RDC's do to our kids...
We are Much nicer than that!!

Rebecca -- It doesn't get easier but you do get stronger!!! Just remember to take it day by day, hour by hour or Minute by minute!! We are here and we do get it.  So often civilian friends mean well but they just don't know how to relate.  (As is often the case with so many things!!) They bumble and stumble and make a huge mess when they may have been trying to encourage or comfort.  You KNOW them best and you may be able to discern the intent behind it.  Sometimes it helps to look at it from another perspective.  Take a Divorce for example.  I don't know what that feels like so I may say things like "Well, You are better off without them" or "Maybe you'll find love again." Those things are neither intended to hurt them or meant with malice against either party but are feeble attempts to comfort or relate.  They do NOT do that!! The best response is a listening ear and maybe "I'm sorry for this hard time. What do you need from me?"  
No, sending our kids off to any Military Boot Camp isn't the same as sending them off to College!! It is very unlikely that in College they could be asked to go into harms way willingly!! That is the reality of what our kids signed us up for.  We cannot pick up the phone or just on Messaging and reach them.  We are at the Mercy of politicians and the Military machine.  It is a whole other world that thankfully and hopefully 95% of the US population will never know.  (First responders are part of that 5%) This is the life our kids wanted and we are proud but we are also humbly aware that it is so different that it hurts to have those precious pieces of our hearts walking this path.  No... It just never gets easier, but you DO get stronger!! One day you will wake up and realize you didn't cry all night, then you'll have a day that almost feels "normal", then one day you realize you don't feel so heavy, you are happy again (Or excited), then there will come a time when you go a whole day without feeling that ache of missing them, heck you may just have a day where you don't "think" about them at all (as in dwell on them), Soon you will adjust to the rhythms of the Navy life, just like our Sailors at sea adjust to the rhythms of the ocean as it rises and falls.... and One day, with any luck and God's blessings you will look back and Shine your light to guide those who are coming behind and navigating these unknown to them waters!! You will be the one Charting a path to safe harbors and relishing in your Strong steady role as a Navy Mom!!

Shebamom - Business Dress, Casual, Comfortable. - You will be sitting on metal bleachers, with no cushions in a large hall with lots of people. So, I would have appropriate layers, I don't recall there being a lot of A/C when we were there in August. Wear something that you will want your picture taken with your sailor. I wore a long skirt and a solid blue blouse and tried to let my sailor know, so he could try to spot me, but alas, they can't do a lot of looking up in the stands and we ended up being high. - Also, comfortable shoes!!! You will be walking, and depending, you might have to do some waiting in line, and climbing up into the bleachers. 

If you watch one of the videos, you can see what others are wearing, and you might notice they have stands with the signs for each division so you can try your best to sit across from that division. We sat up in the upper bleachers, all the way back against the wall. However, we were not allowed to stand during the ceremony, unless others were standing. We had a good eagle eye view, but then getting down to our sailor took a lot longer and ours had to leave to go finish with paperwork, because his orders were not complete. We ended up sitting outside for a long while. I don't know if they would still allow that, but I had to deal with sitting in a long skirt. 

I wore jeans and sneakers. Was warned there would be walking/waiting/stairs(in the building to get to seats). I wore a cheshire cat tshirt and we sat at the back/top wall so hopefully he could catch sight of my shirt, he knows I love it. 

Shebamom --- Oh YEAH!!!!!  Dress in layers.  It may be chilly in the morning when you arrive and HOT by the time you get out!! Wear whatever you are comfortable in!! You will see folks in ALL manner of Dress!! From "Church Clothes" to Jeans and Sneakers!!  This is a FORMAL Military ceremony and they will be in their best uniforms but you are sitting for LONG periods on hard metal benches.  Dress for comfort.  I wore a skirt and a nice top with comfortable shoes.  My youngest wore jeans and a casual button up shirt. I had a sweater that I used to sit on.  Our PIR was Aug 31 2013.

My son's birthday is next week and he warned me not to send any correspondence wishing him a HBD, that he'd get razed or something. Is this true? lol. I certainly don't want that to happen but that seems a bit over the top. Anyone know or have sent bday wishes with no problems?

Good Morning - I have just a minute but I wanted B'sNukeMom and others to know that G'sNavyMom reached out to me with a PM and said she is having trouble being able to post on her groups and reply. She did not want to seem like she was being rude. - I know at times others have had this issue, so any suggestions would be appreciated. 

Logan's Run  - Yes, it is a real thing. You can send him a nice little note in a regular letter, but anything that might draw attention to your SR, such as cards with stickers on envelopes, B'day cards, etc. may have to be opened in front of the RDC. 

I got the post card on Friday with a little note saying my sweet boy was doing fine, he said don't worry about me. That post card was like gold to me, to finally see his words. It could hear him in my mind saying those words to me. I got a suggestion on here about having him leave a voicemail to me before he left, I listened to it today, it was the best advise I could have ever received. Hearing his voice was so wonderful, he sounded so grown up. My sweetheart is his not a man of many words, so it surprised me to hear his voicemail. He sounded so confident and grown up, I am hoping he has that same energy when I get his first call. 

Sandra

So happy for you, Sandra. That first letter/card is such a treasure. I have all of my son's BC letters (4 of them) in a lock box with all of our important documents. I read them occasionally when I start missing him more than usual. Glad he's doing well!

so glad to hear Sandra.. that first note is absolutely gold.. I'm always surprised at how grown up my son sounds and talks. Makes me proud/sad/happy.. ah.. emotional rollercoaster..

belovedbyHim Thank you for the advice to call and confirm if We are allowed at MEPs for his leaving day.

Logan's Run -- Yep... If the RDC's need a reason to motivate the recruits they will Use that as an excuse.  You can send a plain card and write HBD but nothing with Glitter or that makes noise!! You can write it in a letter but don't send a care package or money or gift card.  Save all that for after PIR!! Then you can all celebrate together!!

Sandra -- Yep... That voice mail can be a real life saver!! I wish I had known before my Sailor left but I was not in the habit of deleting voice mails so I had just regular voicemails from his senior year that I listened to.  Really after about 3-4 weeks, it's easier because you know phone calls will be coming soon, you have the address and letters start flowing (Even if they are mostly one sided) and you are beginning to adjust and the shock isn't so acute.  Just know that there may still be tears on that first call.  They haven't heard your voice, they have been being yelled at for the better part of the time and they are missing "Real life"  Hearing your voice may just break them for a moment!! Try and stay strong!! Dig deep and be an encourager!!  You can cry to us after if you need.  They need you to be ok because while you have all of us... They only have You (and your family but still....) If they can hold fast, they'll be ok!

I HAVE to share a Funny.... You know how we always say they are so much more mature after BC.... Well... Not always!!! This was the latest conversation between my Sailor and his younger brother (18 months apart in age... Best Frienimes!) on our Family Chat page.

Sailor: Mother, Your sons are having a discussion and you were listed as the source of all knowledge.  The discussion is that I am the elder brother therefore, I know better than my younger brother. Younger pointed to you as the source of the contrary. Are you able to provide input on this matter?

Me:  HAHAHA  You are equally dumb
(Later added) you are both incredibly smart in your respective areas and neither is lacking in IQ or ability... only in motivation and application.

Youngest: See, I was right!!! 

Me: are you sure about that?

Youngest:  Yes I am!!

Sailor: On the contrary, Mother chose to take the neutral position, neither confirming nor denying either of our positions.

Youngest: Not true, You said you knew better, Mom said We are BOTH DUMB!! (I lost it here....) Therefore, I am correct.

Sailor: This whole conversation is pointless... Good day to you SIR!!

Me:  Point proven!!


So... Just when you think your kids are "Mature Adults", just know that you may open your phone to this kind of banter!!! This is the same stuff they did as kids and teens and really it's their way of staying connected and showing that they are thinking of each other but it still makes me laugh!!

I'm already thinking of some "code" words/statements to convey my HBD message. I def don't want to be the cause of extra pushups or whatever! When do they get to read their mail? Also, will they call on their cell phones or landline? I know the first call was on the cell but then I heard everything gets shipped home. I read conflicting information and want to be prepared. As most moms usually do ;) Thanks again for all the insight.

Eds Mom Danielle -- What did you learn?

Logan's Run-- OH NO!!! Letters are Not read by the RDC's!!! That would be a violation of Federal LAW!!! You can say in clear language, "Happy Birthday".  Just don't make it a Banner or send a "Birthday" specific card or anything else that would draw attention to the fact that it is their birthday.  If you stop to think about it, the RDC's have this information and they already KNOW (Should they choose to look it up) the birthday for every SR under their command.  Just don't send anything that would draw attention but saying it in a letter is just fine!!! A good idea might be to gather as many friends and family as you can and make a photo collage.  You can include a cake and presents in the photos and then actually have them for him at PIR.  This way, they are there, They get to celebrate and it's not Obvious as long as the people are the focus of the pictures and not the Party Pieces!!  And you are sending something that will only be seen/ or read by those he chooses to share with.

the rest of the calls from boot camp will be on landlines that are near the 'ships'. area code 847 is Waukegan and usually comes from there but answer all calls.. you just never know.. Their cell phones are in a sealed box being stored until after PIR.

Hello is there a pir group I can join that’s not on Facebook or division number 

Sandra-

I have ALL of my son's letters! He wrote to us almost every couple of weeks for the 9 months that he ws in BC. I would carry them around with me until the next letter.

Shebamom-

I wore an A-line halter dress. Summery, but not a ball gown. I wore a light gray sweater with little pearls on it (I had Shingles at the time and my shoulder looked awful).I wore a small wedge sandal that was comfortable for walking.  

They sell CD's, calendars...

Enjoy!

Yvette -- Do you have your PIR date?  If so you can join the PIR group for your Date range.  We list the Div numbers just to make it easier to find the right group.  The PIR groups are "Closed" groups so you will need to verify that you "Belong" there to join but they are not limited to a specific Div. 
I hope I'm understanding your question.  If not please reach out and ask again.

patti -- I bet you win the prize for the most letters from BC!! (Although I am sorry for the reason!) 
Your dress sounds adorable!!
I am so sorry you had shingles!!! That is Just MISERABLE!!! Folks.... PSA.... If you have not had the vaccine... Get it!!! The Shingles are Miserable!!! I've had them, my mom had had them multiple times and now has Postherpetic neuralgia Interior-ly in her left chest and shoulder.  (She didn't have the widespread skin rash this round.  they were deeper in.)  If you can avoid this misery... Please have this discussion with your medical care provider and follow their advice!!!

I have a question, when I receive a call from my son does anyone know if it is possible to add someone to our call? Not sure if it would hang up if I tried. My husband and are together most of the time on the wkends, but just in case I was wondering if anyone else has tried it. 

Sandra

not sure.. if so it would be on your end.. those landlines are flaky at best.. we used a call recording app and if one of us missed one, only happened once. we could replay it and all the others, what few there are lol..

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Trey, that is a great idea! Thanks

Sandra -- We didn't want to risk it.  If you have someone nearby who is willing to let you practice with them you can try that first but I have not personally had great success adding folks to conference calls.

belovedbyHim Happy Tuesday Everyone!  I spoke directly to MEPS at Fort Hamilton in Brooklyn today.  We are allowed on the base for the formal swearing in and briefing!   They run on the half hour and they run every hour...I asked if, as a USO volunteer, I can wait inside the USO center instead of my car, he said Thank you but no LOL 

Trey that is a great idea...this group sis amazing with how clever you all are!!

I heard/read somewhere that some airports will allow us, the family, to get Gate passes provided by the military so families can wait at the gate with their "kids".  Again, I spoke directly with MEPS at Fort Hamilton Brooklyn and that was a definite NO.

Anyone have different info?

I think most airlines/airports do this for many people.. my friend would do it to see her kids off. I don't think MEPS has that much control over an independent airport. Go ahead and contact the airport/airline directly..

MEPS will always so NO to the Airport.  That decision is 100% up to the Airlines.  You need to ask for a Gate Pass. Your SR needs to tell you their Airline and Flight number.  The Airline can say no, TSA can say No but MEPS doesn't say Yes because then the Airports would be overwhelmed and MEPS doesn't have any control or authority there.  You need to bring your ID and maybe your phone and cash/card but leave everything else at HOME!!  Less really is more in this case!

Eds Mom Danielle - The recruiter told us yes about the airport, then MEPS told us NO. So, we did not go and then I found this site and heard about people staying at the airport with their loved ones. I was really upset, but as it turned out, we actually had other family priorities that day and we had spent most of the morning with our son at MEPS. (pre-Covid). 

Later it occurred to me that the driver from MEPS to the airport, was not really wanting us Momma's to be "babying" our sons. - Mine had never flown an airplane before though. But he did just fine. We would have had to have driven over to the airport and meet up with him prior to ticketing so he could have verified with the airlines for us to get a gate pass. 

For almost every other trip to the airport, until he was traveling with his gf later wife, we got gate passes, including after PIR. But BelovedbyHim, explains the reasoning the best, and definitely go to the airport with just the basics, because you still have to go through TSA!. 

Hello all⚓️I was sent my son's ship and division number along with the Commander's letter via Sandboxx.  Is it safe to rely on this before we've received his letter in the mail?

So my sweet girl left yesterday for Great Lakes.  We got her scripted call at 11:15 last not.  It was short as I knew it would be but still good to hear her voice.  So now we wait until we get her address.  I am ever so grateful for this group and all the info, and support you provide.  Thanks!

Hold on to your rear Happynurse.. here we go.. we got ya!

Welcome PRitz!! This is the best place to post general questions and get tons of support and answers!!

G'sNavyMom -- Yes you can rely on the Sandboxx address.  You DO NOT need to use Sandboxx to write back.  You can use the regular postal service for a whole lot less.  Keep in mind that while You CAN send letters right away, we have not heard of any changes in the delivery procedure.  If you learn something new, PLEASE share it with us.  The normal procedure was that they needed to finish P-days (takes a week) then they need to select and train a Recruit Mail Petty Officer (RMPO) to sort and deliver the mail.  (This used to take another week or 2!) So in the mean time all the letters arriving for that Division along with all the other Div's that are in the same process are getting set aside by the other RMPO's who are further along.  Sometimes those letters are not sorted in the order they were recieved at GL.  Also sometimes those letters just go missing all together.  SO.... All this is to say, Yes Write!! Go ahead and Mail them, BUT Number them and maybe make a copy before you mail it JUST in case.... and realize it may still take 3 or 4 weeks before you get a letter back!! The KEY difference between Sandboxx and USPS is that Sandboxx gets delivered to RTC quicker- ish.  If you write a letter on Monday then Via Sandboxx they will deliver it to RTC by Wed, whereas USPS may not deliver that First class letter until Friday.  Once it arrives at RTC the process is the same for all mail.  If your SR asks for you to mail something from home you may.  But don't send anything unless they ASK for you to! Anything larger than a single stamped envelope must be opened in front of the RDC's so if you are sending an extra letter or a packet to be distributed to your SR's DIV, be sure to warn your SR FIRST!!!

Happynurse -- And So It Begins......

You and She have got this!!! We are here if you need us!!!