Am I the only one here who's totally relaxed about sending my child to boot camp?

[Arwen]

There are a LOT of posts from mothers worried/stressed about their sons or daughters going to boot camp, I'm just looking for a little reassurance that I am not the only one who has no problem with my child leaving?

I've helped him study and "encouraged" him to keep up his PT so that when he goes he will be ready to take that test and make E-2 right away. I'm very comfortable with letting him go.I feel he's ready. I'd send him tomorrow if I thought he was ready for the test and was sure he could still get the same job.

Is it because we did this once already, sending him off to college last summer (2008)? I was just as relaxed then, too. A hug and a goodbye, a minute of tears as I watch him leave, and he's gone. Out of sight, out of mind, except for letters or phone calls.

Is it because I went to boot camp myself, I know what it's like, so it holds no fears for me?

Mostly I'm eager to hear about what he learns, how boot camp has changed from my experience, fun and outrageous stories, and to hear of his future adventures.

So, is there anyone else out there who feels the same way I do: pride that my son is ready to make a major step towards independent adulthood with a touch of relief that he isn't going to stay home forever?

[Pat]

No, you are not alone...I enjoy face time with my son...when I can get it, but I have known that he would be going military in some form since he was in the third grade. I loved your comments "A hug and a goodbye, a minute of tears as I watch him leave, and he's gone. Out of sight, out of mind, except for letters or phone calls" and "pride that my son is ready to make a major step towards independent adulthood" and feel that these are true for me. He has been in the fleet for about 1.5 years.

[elizab61]

You are absoluty not alone. I think, hope, every parent feels that way. I miss my son very much, but I know that he will be a man when he comes home. On that note, he won't ever be home again to live because he will be getting married in a few years, so he'll never be "mine" to keep again. I know he'll do well, he's got alot of potential and drive. I'm not really anxious about him being there at all, just excited to hear what's going on. It's the adventure of a life time, starting with his first plane right to get there! He is our middle child, yet the first t leave home. It the begining of another stage of our lives as parents. Adult children are different than kids, then they will start bringing home their kids...the circle of life!

[PandaBeary89]

I felt the same way when my husband left. I realize that a husband is different than a child, but I had confidence in my husband. He is very intelligent, strong, responsible, respectable. He was very prepared when he left. I am very proud of him! I was very sad AFTER he left for about a week, actually. As far as him leaving, the day of, it wasn't difficult for me. After a week I was more excited for him again, and just so so proud of him! Do not feel bad or abnormal for not being depressed, be grateful! Being sad is not fun, and I'm sure your son will do wonderfully! When we have children, I know that we will encourage them to be in the military. It is such a rewarding experience... and it certainly does get them out of the house!

[ChrisAmo]

My son has been in and out of my life so many times that this was just another one. He went off to college, (saw him every few months) then he went off to Taiwan (didn't see him for 18 months that time). So sending him off to boot camp was "ho-hum, more of the same." Not that I don't miss him but he has his own life to lead and I'm really happy that he finally got it all together. Haven't seen him since last Xmas but hoping for Thanksgiving this year.

[fan4jr]

There is no doubt that the Navy will give my son opportunites that I could not. I am a single mom and have raised him by myself. His dad and I divorced when he was a year old and in 1995 his dad died from Leukemia. My boy was eight years old then. I have a grown handicapped daughter who is fifteen years older than her brother but mentally she is a child. I love both my children very much and am very proud of them. I know we are all different and deal with things in our own way. I personally had a melt down when my son left (not in front of him). He is determined and focused and I encourage him in every letter I write. As for me I do not let him know the void in my heart. I knew this time would come and I have raised an amazing young man who loves the Lord and gives of himself to help others. In my case there is not a day that goes by that my son is not in my heart and on my mind. My fear was not of boot camp or the Navy, it is of a mom having to grow up and let go. God bless all the military moms and dads.

[Becky (mom of 2 sailors)]

I had mixed feelings when my son went to boot camp. I think the moms who have lots of trouble with their kids leaving are the uber-helicopter moms and ones who didn't get a chance to learn about the Navy and boot camp before they left. I don't think it has anything to do with the relationship they have.

In my case, when my oldest went away to college in OR (I'm in CO), I wasn't the least bit sad or worried. I knew she was in the exactly right place. When my son left for bootcamp after being in DEP for 7 months, I got a tad weepy when he left, but my anxiety, if you can call it that, was the unknown. I knew, from N4Ms and our awesome recruiter what to expect, but I didn't know how my son would react to it. I assumed he'd be fine, so I guess my anxiety began when I got a very sad first letter from him from bootcamp. That was truly worrisome to me. But as time went on and we got more upbeat letters and then phone calls, I knew all was well.

So, I think it's a journey we all take at our own pace. Some of us stride right along watching the horizon, some of us skip and giggle, some of us take two steps forward and one back, some of us need a hand to hold. And some have to be dragged forward every step of the way.

My son's a corpsman in Okinawa now. I'd like to hear from him more often, but we're still working out the correspondence bugs of being so far away. And my job now is to gear up for son number 2 to join up after he graduates high school. Never in a million years did I think I'd be a Military Mom! But I know it will be MUCH easier the second time around. Like water off a duck's back.

I love the fact that I don't really have to worry about them in the Navy. Secure job. Food. Shelter. Lots of perks. Bad things, sure, but that's true of any job. Now I can switch over to worrying about whether my college-educated daughter can support herself with her degree in .... creative writing. Yes, feel my pain. LOL

[bonnie]

An addendum to my reply: While I miss my daughter so much because she is so cool, I talk to her once a week! She and I have Skype. She calls me from her computer to my cell phone. So while she is FAFA-Mama, (far from mom!) she is but a phone call away.

[Laura A]

I was completely ready to send mine, although his leaving 5 days before Christmas was a little tough. I knew he was going to mature & have some great experiences. I do miss him, but when he comes home he & I are both ready for him to return back to the Navy after about 2 weeks. We appreciate each other more now & are slowly easing out of the part of our relationship where I have to constantly mother him (as in 'pick up your clothes, sit down and eat, do this, don't do that').

He is my first born & my love for him is fierce, so yes, I am concerned about his safety...but I would still be concerned even if he were here. I won't know the places he's going to until he's already been & I like it that way. I pray for him, as I do my other two children, constantly.

In truth, I pushed him into military service as he didn't want to go to college & I wasn't going allow him to waste his life away. BUT I am so proud of the way he has chosen to embrace his new life. He chose the Navy & thus far it has the best decision he has ever made. I cry & hug him when he comes home & I hug him & smile bravely when he leaves. He is truly my hero.

[MJ]

Well, it probably does have to do with your own experience in boot camp. But, I didn't worry about my daughter going to boot camp, either. The worrying didn't start until I got that first phone call from her. Hearing your kid sound terrified on the phone will do that to you. LOL

[Mark]

We have prepared our boys for a long time. Matt is now at boot camp and we heard from him the other day. He is enjoying it. I told him the same advice my grandfather gave me when I went to boot camp YEARS ago: it is a game. The only way to win is graduate.

No matter what you do, you are wrong. Just enjoy it and know you are not correct for 8 weeks. IN ANYTHING!

Matt is heading that advice and enjoying his experience.

[mgarr682]

No, you are not alone. I wasn't worried or upset at all. I was quite proud. Maybe it was because I was born at Great Lakes many years ago when my father was an RDC there, although they were called company commanders way back then. Mostly though I wasn't worried or upset because my son is a bright kid who had given the pro's and con's of stint in the Navy (or a whole career) a lot of thought and his decision to give up several personal freedoms in order to do a job that allows the rest of us to enjoy all of our freedoms shows a degree of maturity and selflessness that is lacking in many today.

Pride is what I felt, a great deal of it.

[willi519]

I am glad to hear that. I too am not alone in not feeling anxious about my son's decision. I know this will be a good path for him. Yes, it can be a dangerous path but many other choices can be as well. This choice makes me proud and looking forward to seeing the person he will become as a result. Go NAVY!