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Am I the only one here who's totally relaxed about sending my child to boot camp?
I've helped him study and "encouraged" him to keep up his PT so that when he goes he will be ready to take that test and make E-2 right away. I'm very comfortable with letting him go.I feel he's ready. I'd send him tomorrow if I thought he was ready for the test and was sure he could still get the same job.
Is it because we did this once already, sending him off to college last summer (2008)? I was just as relaxed then, too. A hug and a goodbye, a minute of tears as I watch him leave, and he's gone. Out of sight, out of mind, except for letters or phone calls.
Is it because I went to boot camp myself, I know what it's like, so it holds no fears for me?
Mostly I'm eager to hear about what he learns, how boot camp has changed from my experience, fun and outrageous stories, and to hear of his future adventures.
So, is there anyone else out there who feels the same way I do: pride that my son is ready to make a major step towards independent adulthood with a touch of relief that he isn't going to stay home forever?
Views: 755
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Proud Mom of A Sailor on
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I think it must be a military thing...at first I thought it was a "man thing". My husband, Army vet, could not understand my worry and angst. I know that my son was ready, I understand that this was his choice, but I still had a VERY difficult time with the separation and lack of communication. The mom gene kicked in and I was a mess. N4M was a Godsend and I am so thankful for the comfort and compassion I found here.
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I love reading all of the replies to this! I am in the same boat. I sent my only child to boot camp in August of '08, and he just returned from his first deployment. Do I miss him? Of course. But I was so much more relaxed about the whole process than a lot of moms who sent their kids to college a couple of hours down the road. Whenever one of them would say how they would be worried sick if they were in my shoes, I would just say, "It's Friday night, what is your son doing?" The answer was usually, "probably at a party. I hope that he isn't doing any drugs, I'm sure he's drinking." Then I would say "I know that my son is in bed by 10:00, he isn't drinking, he isn't partying, in fact, I'd be surprised if he even goes to the bathroom when he wants to. I am much more worried about your child at college than I am about my child in boot camp!"
I was going through a bout of depression (not related to my son leaving) and one well meaning friend said I was sad because of the empty nest. I just laughed, I LOVE having an empty nest!
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Permalink Reply by Arwen on
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That is so hilarious because we lived next door to a freshman dorm at a major university for 4 years, up to 18 months ago. Some of the things those kids got up to would bring their parents right back to swaddle them and lock them in their rooms for the next decade... if they knew about it. But no, they were so sure their perfect young adults would be just fine, just a little party and beer once in a while...ROFL!
Yeah, instead our kids are in a highly controlled atmosphere where all of their peers were drug tested for MONTHS before getting them together, given tons of training and even have three "babysitters." And they're worried about OUR kids. That's just rich.
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No, you are not the only relaxed one. I too sent my son to college - in '06 - and while that wasn't as easy as BC I was happy to know he would be working on his future. Now, in Nov. '09 this departure was his decision - and while I was skeptical at first, I have to admit that the happiness in his voice lets me know he made the right choice.
So I am relaxed - or as relaxed as a mother can be.
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I can truly say that I was not worried about my daughter going into the Navy. She has only spoken about being in the military since about the age of 4 ! Yes, I did cry like a baby for ABOUT 3 days when she left ( I chalk it up to empty-nest syndrome). I am so proud/honored to be her mom and to be able to watch her go off to follow her dream..I actually feel better knowing that my girl will be defending our country, doing it with a smile in her heart and a skip in her step..I know the risks involved as well, and I am at peace with her decision....BTW, she did suffer a stress fracture her 3rd week at boot..On crutches and in a cast..She is very upbeat about all of it though.. :)
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Hi...no you are not the only one! I was so calm over it all and thus so was my son. I figured I had done my parenting best to raise my child so as to be his own man...to be independent..to stand on his own feet and know right from wrong, up from down, and to make ethical choices for self and others.
I felt much as you.
As a result, I soon found that the useful data on navy for moms was the upbeat folks like yourself and the feedback from the moms who had actual facts to give regarding the experience. I avoided fully the dramatization of the many mom's who for whatever personal reasons were not yet able to let go and fully enjoy their child's adventure into Life. Upon taking that viewpoint, I found so many helpful and useful bits of information on Navy For Mom's that well prepared me to support my son thru bootcamp and to fully enjoy PIR....which was Great by the way!! A real must to share with your child if you can do so financially.
My son is now studying at linguistic school and LOVING IT! And yes....outrageious stories from bootcamp that have added to the shaping of the man he is becoming and adding to the adventures yet to come!
So...continue to remain calm and enjoy the ride. And well done on being a mom who is "comfortable with letting him go.I feel he's ready '.....GOOD JOB, Mom!
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I get tears in my eyes when I think how PROUD I am of my son :) I can't wait for him to start his adventure in LIFE.
OK, so when they leave for boot what do you do with all the C*** in their room?
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Well as preparation for my son leaving I had him pack up his room, insisting on every box having a label and put them into storage. So now when he is ready to have his stuff, I don't have to do anything, just grab the boxes he wants and off they go. I think it also helped him realize that he was definitely starting a new adventure, a new chapter in his life.
If he has already left, then I suggest that you just pack it up as if he were moving and put it aside.
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Thank you for the reply, My son doesn't leave till Feb. 2nd, and his 20th B-day is the 28th. so we are just kickin' back and enjoying some time together. that will be fun to pack up his room .... well maybe some tears...but good ones :)
Kym
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My son is third generation military so I am very proud, but I got negative comments before high scool graduation about him being killed in the military. I live in Wyoming and 6 or 7 years ago University of Wyoming lost 8 track team members in a vehicle hit by a drunk driver. Nowhere in this world are we 100% safe I don't feel like he is in any greater danger in the military. I am proud of all who protect our country and thank all you moms.
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If anything, most Naval personnel are probably safer than civilians who stay home. The Navy is only peripherally involved in the current fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan except for a few specific units (SEALs, corpsmen, Riverines and SeaBees) and you don't often hear of Naval disasters. In the last thirty years there have been two (USS Stark and USS Cole), and the occasional Navy aircraft crash. I think some people don't realize the Navy is a bit different. Al Qaeda doesn't have a lot of warships or fighter jets out there, it's difficult for them to launch much of an attack on your average aircraft carrier, destroyer or submarine at sea. And since the Cole we're a lot better at ship security, I doubt they'll get at another ship in port.
I doubt I would be as relaxed if Chris were joining the Army or Marines, or even the Air Force to some degree. But with him in the Navy I'm more worried about his getting hurt in an accident that could happen to anyone, anywhere, than dieing in some violent war-related act.
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My son was on the UUS Geroge Washington when it caught fire off of South America. This spring he IA'd to go to Irag, was being processed in Virigina and medical exam found kindey stones. He can try again in six months, but I'm hoping he loves Hawaii enough so I can visit.
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